The Night I Fell in Love {An Uncommon Love: Chapter 6}

An Uncommon Love - The Night I Fell in Love

*If you’re new here, this is an excerpt from Chapter 6 of An Uncommon Love – our true-life love story. You can also catch up by reading Chapter OneChapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, and Chapter Five.

Chapter 6

The Night I Fell In Love

by Matthew L Jacobson

I drove down I-84, through the Columbia Gorge, snaking my way up the canyon wall to peer into the vastness of the night sky from some nondescript roadside vantage point. I like looking up at the stars in moments like these.

Somehow, the impossible distances that look like inches to the naked eye brings my world into perspective.

Lisa had said “yes” and we were going to dinner tomorrow evening.

Suddenly, the future I desired with another kindred soul who would naturally, instinctively, and irresistibly intertwine with mine no longer seemed light years away.

On that vibrant, crisp night, the message about Lisa was not clear . . . just not negative . . . possible, even . . . and that, in itself, was a seismic shift from what had always been . . . that’s significant, isn’t it, Matthew?

A little fresh air, a quiet drive into the stillness of the late evening toward home – time to review and reflect on the events of the dinner party.

. . . the streetlight . . .

Yes, we stood together, then . . . as the streetlight filled her dancing eyes with the full spectrum of life, reflecting back into my soul the energy of a possible future.

Light . . . like a man feels heat when his hand strays too close to the open flame, I could feel the intensity of it’s growing beam everywhere around me.

It’s the story of the moth . . . I would not play the moth . . . be careful.

But, how, exactly are you to be careful when atop a lava flow? Monday just the two of us would be present – alone in the bustling restaurant – fiercely casual, ardently testing the night’s essence without the camouflage of distraction provided by the safe presence of other couples. Yeah, you have to be careful around lava.

Those who care about others know the Territory of Love is strewn with the wreckage of damaged hearts and hopes deferred. That was the last journey I wanted to take . . . or cause someone else to endure.

But, there’s no getting around it, is there?

No wonder the Bible calls it a mystery . . . the way of a man with a maid.

You can read the rest of this chapter over at Matthew L Jacobson!

Great Resting House in Paradise

 

An Uncommon Love - Our True Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson*Chapter One: If He Was the Last Man On Earth

*Chapter Two: Where Is She? Searching for My Forever Girl

*Chapter Three: What Happens When Mr. Right Walks Into the Room

*Chapter Four: What A Smile Can Say to Him

*Chapter Five: The Best Answer If You’re Ever Invited on an Adventure

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

The Best Answer If You’re Ever Invited on an Adventure (An Uncommon Love: Chapt.5}

An Uncommon Love - The Best Answer If You're Ever Invited on an Adventure

*Here’s Chapter 5 of An Uncommon Love – our true-life love story. If you’re new here, you can catch up by reading Chapter OneChapter Two, Chapter Three, and Chapter Four.  

Waiting has never been my strong point.

Seems so useless. Time wasted.

And, what’s worse, makes me feel helpless.

Yet I found myself waiting for two whole days.  Waiting for him to call.

What a rotten deal.

Here I’d known since Friday night at that life-changing dinner party that this was the guy I was going to marry and – as I was staying in town for only eight days – why would we throw away two of those precious days?

Or to be more precise, why was he throwing them away?

And if I was so certain he was the man for me . . . what was taking him so long to realize that I was the woman for him?

 All Grown Up Now

So he finally called.

Late Sunday night and I answered in my best attempt at a nonchalant voice.

“Hello, Matthew! Monday night? Dinner and a movie. Hmm….let me think. Yes, well, that should work fine. See you then.”

Click.

Good thing he couldn’t see my heart pounding over the phone. He couldn’t see my eyes sparkling, or my toes wiggling in happy anticipation either.

Ridiculous.

I mean, I wasn’t a child anymore. I was 26 and all grown up. And he was a grown man at 31 years.

You understand, don’t you? We’re not talking about a couple of young kids here. The stakes were high now and we couldn’t afford a mere “crush.”

We were both looking for the Real Deal.

Yes, this was big stuff with serious consequences. I needed to get a grip and approach this thing from a mature perspective.

So why wouldn’t my feet stop from dancing . . . ?

An Uncommon Love - Chapter 5

Chopsticks and Life in Little Saigon

I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Although he couldn’t possibly have known beforehand that I was crazy for Thai food, he picked out this wonderful little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that just happened to serve the tastiest Thai food in Portland.

It was a smart move.

Then I’m not sure how the conversation began, but I believe it was when he remarked how adept I was with using chopsticks. So he asked me about it. And that got me started.

I told him about how I had been living for the past two years with a Vietnamese family down in Little Saigon, a Vietnamese community in Southern California. About the church there. The fun and gracious people. Then all about these youth that I loved so much.

How they affectionately called me Mi Trang. 

How I taught them to sing “Our God Reigns” and “Lamb of God”.

And how they had introduced me to chopsticks and the wonders of eating phở, the best Vietnamese soup in the world.

How they had captured my heart.

But I quickly caught myself. What was I doing? How could I go on and on like that? Pouring out my story in such a way. Without pausing for breath or stopping to consider.

I shut my mouth and looked up at him. Wondering if I had scared him away with all my passionate enthusiasm.

And that’s when I saw it.

This guy across the table from me was completely engaged and listening. Truly listening. He didn’t seem bored at all. He actually seemed interested in my thoughts, my experiences, and how I felt about life.

He was genuinely interested in me.

An Uncommon Love - Hanging Out in Little Saigon

The Best Answer

My cheeks felt suddenly flushed – and it wasn’t merely the hot peppers that made it so.

As if he could sense my discomfort, he picked up where I had trailed off. He began sharing some of his own adventures of speeding across the Autobahn in Germany. Trekking through the bush near the Yukon border of Northern Canada. And spending a summer sailing through the Gulf Islands.

And that’s when he popped the question.

Oh, no, not THE QUESTION.

Just the question.

Hey, why don’t you come with me? What would you say to going with me to a small island in British Columbia where good friends of mine are staying for a few days? They’re on holiday and it’s beautiful there. I know you’d love it.”

I never even blinked.

I simply said, “Yes! I’d love to go with you.”

And we continued the conversation as if it was just the kind of thing we did. You know, sail off to small islands together. Him and me.

Because when the Right Guy asks you to go on an adventure with him?

You say YES.

(Unless you’re one of my daughters and then you say, Okay, but I have to ask my parents first…and they’ll probably have to pray about it. But thanks for asking.)

But all I said was yes.

Yes, I will go with you.

To the ends of the earth. (Except I didn’t add that last part – not aloud, anyway.)

Sailing for a Small Island

We left the restaurant without saying much more to each other. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. My thoughts mostly swirling around a small island off the coast of Canada.

A place I’d never been to.

With a man I’d only just met.

He drove us over to the cinema and we caught a late showing of some popular movie. Not that I remember anything about it.

I mean, how can you concentrate on a romantic comedy . . . when you’ve just begun living your very own? (The comedy part is still yet to come.)

It was well past midnight by the time he dropped me off at my parents’ home. Although the hour was late and I was drop-dead-tired, for some reason I had a difficult time drifting off to sleep that night.

He loves me . . . He loves me not . . . He loves me . . .

Or not?

As for Matthew, he went home and called his good friend from college and told him . . .

Well, I should really let him tell you what he said. Because it’s very important.

To be continued . . . . See you next Wednesday for Chapter Six then?

In His grace,
Signature small

*Hint: That phone call is one of my favorite parts of our story! :)

An Uncommon Love - Our True-Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson*Chapter One: If He Was the Last Man On Earth
*Chapter Two: Where Is She? Searching for My Forever Girl
*Chapter Three: What Happens When Mr. Right Walks Into the Room
*Chapter Four: What A Smile Can Say to Him

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

What A Smile Can Say to Him {An Uncommon Love: Chapt. 4}

An Uncommon Love - What A Smile Can Say to Him
*This is an excerpt from Chapter 4 of An Uncommon Love – our true-life love story. You can also catch up by reading Chapter One: If He was the Last Man on EarthChapter Two: Where Is She? {Searching For My Forever Girl}, and Chapter 3: What Happens When Mr Right Walks Into the Room.

The years of wondering, of expectation, of hope . . .

were somehow compressed into those moments after Linda left that small piece of paper next to my office phone.

I picked it up, looking at the name and number like a diamond cutter might examine a large, raw stone for the first time. If someone had seen me, they might have wondered, “Why is he staring at that little piece of paper?”

Of course, I wasn’t. I was examining the future, trying to coerce it to reveal what couldn’t be known. When it comes to “the way of a man with a maid” you can’t hedge your bets. It takes commitment.

Commit? Oh, come on . . . it’s only a dinner party. You’re not committing to anything.

Like the diamond cutter, instinctively, I felt there were facets here to discover yet still perceived a sense of warning from some undefined, unsafe place somewhere deep within my soul: Are you sure you want to make this phone call?

But, I was sure and, besides, I had made it clear that I wanted to meet her. One more “Mr. Potato Head” moment like eight months previous and Lisa might put on her angry eyes, followed by a lynching!

Of course, I want to make this call.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Lisa?”

“Yes…..”

You can read the rest of this chapter over at Matthew L Jacobson!

An Uncommon Love - A True Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

*Chapter One: If He Was the Last Man On Earth

*Chapter Two: Where Is She? Searching for My Forever Girl

*Chapter Three: What Happens When Mr. Right Walks Into the Room

*Chapter Four: What A Smile Can Say to Him

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

Keeping the Lines of Communication Open {& Why It’s So Vital in Marriage}

Keeping the Lines of Communication Open - And Why It's So Vital in Marriage
Something’s wrong,”  my husband said.

How does he do that, I wondered.

My husband can take one look at me or catch a certain tone in my voice and he knows something is troubling me.

After 14 years of marriage, we communicate very well — without words.

“Yes,” I answered with a smile. “There is something wrong, but I don’t want to bring you into it.”

“What? Why not?” He asked with complete surprise.

I struggled to find the right words to express to him that sometimes I’m not sure if telling my troubles to my husband is the best thing — even those personal struggles with feeling pretty or good enough for him.

But, I knew he was right.

There really wasn’t any reason to keep things from my husband. We are one flesh, aren’t we? We are traveling this road called together, aren’t we?

After a few moments of silence, I let him in on my troubles; troubles, that to some, seem small and insignificant, but to my husband, they weren’t.

Why? Because they were my troubles and he wanted to work through them with me.

My husband and I have faced some rocky roads together. Sometimes it was his personal trials, sometimes it was mine. There were other times when our entire family was suffering and we needed to communicate with each other.

We need to bear each other’s burdens. In fact, God commands it.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galations 6:2

We Are Traveling This Road Called Together

Enjoying A Deep, Strong Marriage

Keeping the lines of communication open, honest, and yet loving has helped my husband and I enjoy a deep, strong marriage. It’s not just infatuation or puppy love. but, it’s a marriage based on God’s word and communication.

In fact, communicating and working through our difficulties together has made us a stronger team.

Many times I see a pattern in our marriage. Typically, when I am down, he is up, and when he is down, I am up. There always seemed to be at least one of us that can offer some encouragement and comfort. I am so glad I do not have to travel this journey alone for now. I have a husband, that when I communicate my innermost sorrows, he is there to lift me up.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Ecc.4:9-10

Though communication is vital in a marriage, there are times when silence is best — particularly when our tongue desires to criticize or tear down our husbands.

Yes, it’s best not to communicate in those times, but rather pray.

Our tongues will only worsen the situation. When our hearts are full of love and kindness, then we can seek to encourage our husbands.

In recent days, I have had a lot of drama and emotional situations come my way. I have been so thankful that I had a caring person to listen, arms to hold and comfort me and a spiritual leader to direct my footsteps.

Do you ever have those days where it seems a small part of your world gets turned upside down?

Don’t hide those situations from your husband. Let him in to your world. Let him have those hidden pieces of your heart.

As I look back over the past 14 years of my marriage, I am so thankful that I have kept the lines of communication open with my husband. Instead of telling a girlfriend or my mom, there were many times when I only told two people — God and my husband.

If the lines of communication in your marriage are down, try opening them back up by letting your husband be “in the know” with struggles, victories and issues that are present in your life.

Keeping them from him will only push him away.

You may be surprised at the relief, support and close-knit relationship you’ll enjoy from communicating!

alison

Alison Wood is a mom of six kiddos, wife to one amazing husband, church-planting missionary in Southeast Asia and a parenting writer for online magazines. She encourages wives and moms at Pint-sized Treasures. Follow her there!

Alison is also the author of the very encouraging 25 Days to a Happier Home - a 25-day challenge that will help you create a happy home for your family.

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).