What Happens When Mr. Right Walks into the Room {An Uncommon Love: Chapt. 3}

An Uncommon Love - What Happens When Mr. Right Walks into the Room

 *This is Chapter 3 of An Uncommon Love – our true-life love story. You can also catch up by reading Chapter One: If He was the Last Man on Earth and Chapter Two: Where Is She? {Searching For My Forever Girl}

I knew it as soon as he entered the room.

He walked through the doorway with his confident stride. Wearing a thick, manly sweater, black Levi’s, and western boots.  Tall, dark, and handsome, just like she said.

With those unforgettable blue eyes.

It’s possible I fell in love at that very moment. At that very first dinner party.

No, surely not?

I mean, no one really falls in love with a pair of boots . . . do they?

No, of course, they don’t.

So maybe it was his smile.  Or his honest expression.

Or it might very well have been those beautiful blue eyes.

But mostly . . . mostly it was his soul. Somehow his soul came clear through. Shone a bright light right across the room and then settled deep into my own.

And in that moment I knew.

There is the man I am going to marry.

Just like that. Simple, straightforward, and as distinct as if a Voice had spoken.

There he is. Your future husband. Right there.

All of this happened in an instant. This sense that the rest of my life was standing tall before me. I felt surprisingly calm considering the implications.

My one thought?  Wow. I can’t wait to get to know him. This man I’m going to marry.

Wait A Second Here . . .

Wait a second . . . I thought Lisa said something about, “If he was the last man on earth, she wouldn’t date him .” Now she’s ready to marry him? ?

And you’re right.  I did say that. And  I meant it too.

But a lot had happened in the 8 months since that disastrous first meeting and the horrendous lunch that followed.

You see, God had been working in me.

Over time, He had been slowly softening my heart and showing my need to listen to Him. Because up until then, I had been the one calling the shots in my love life. Telling Him what I did – and did not – want in a man.  I was determined to stay in control.

I wanted to be in charge.

Yet my Heavenly Father had been gently pressing on me that I needed to learn to trust Him with my heart. That He could and would take care of me . . . if I would only let Him.

So, yes, a lot happened over those 8 months.

Which is why I could make that shocking announcement on New Year’s Eve.

An Uncommon Love - New Years Resolution

A Surprising New Year’s Resolution

The table fell silent for a minute or two.

All my friends became quiet, not sure if they should laugh,  sympathize, or . . . what.

It was New Year’s Eve and we were all lightheartedly sharing our resolutions. Some were semi-serious and others were less so. We went around the table and each of us had something that we’d hoped to aspire to in the coming year.

Then came my turn …

I’m going to get married this year, I announced as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

And while there’s certainly nothing unnatural about a 26 year old girl getting married, there was this slight problem.

I wasn’t dating anyone and hadn’t for several years.

Not only was I not dating, I wasn’t even acquainted with any eligible guys.

And then my friends couldn’t contain themselves any longer and burst into laughter. They considered my statement as something of a big joke.

I considered it something of a big step of faith.

Give the Guy A (Second) Chance

Which brings us to March 13, 1992 and the evening of the dinner party.

A few weeks previous to the party, my friend Linda had called me and once again asked if I’d be coming up to Portland anytime soon. Her boss really did want to meet me, she assured me, and this time it was his idea.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but she had been busy praying for the two of us, truly believing that we were meant for each other.

And wouldn’t you know it? One day, that boss of hers (you know, the proud, arrogant one?) walked by her desk and mentioned in passing, “You remember that friend of yours? The girl down in California? Well, I really would be interested in taking her out, if she was ever up this way again.” And kept walking.

I believe my phone was ringing about three minutes later.

And as it turned out, I was coming up to Portland in a couple of weeks.

You know . . . to be a bridesmaid.

For the 13th time.

Yes, I’m serious. Sigh.

So I figured if I didn’t want to be a bridesmaid for the rest of my life, I’d better start opening up to the possibilities that came my way.

And this guy was definitely A Possibility.

Because in spite of the bad impression he had first made on me, he had a very good reputation everywhere else.  He was known to be a sincere and godly man, kind and considerate, along with a fun sense of humor. Not a bad combination, as far as I was concerned.

Maybe I should give him a second chance . . .

An Uncommon Love - The Dinner Party That Changed Everything

The Dinner Party That Changed Everything

The dinner party was a dream.

Mr. Blue Eyes walked straight over to me and began a conversation that might have gone on forever.

Except that our hostess called us to dinner abruptly reminding us that there were other people in the world. Or at least other people in the room.

So I had to settle for staring at him from across the table.

Because by then I was in love.

I was looking at the man I was going to marry. He was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with—talking, laughing, and loving together.

My happily-ever-after.

My very own Mr. Right.

At the end of the evening, we stood out in the driveway and talked some more before we each went our separate ways. He threw something out, like maybe we should get together again before I went back down to L.A.? And that was about it.

So I was left to wait.

Waited and waited through the longest week-end of my life.

I was to be in Portland for only 8 days. Eight. Now 3 were down and we had only five left.

So what was taking him so long to  call me ??

To be continued . . . .

An Uncommon Love - A True Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

Matthew will be taking it from here next Wednesday!

*Just for fun, what are some of the neat qualities that first attracted you to your husband? Please share! :)

In His grace,
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*Chapter One: If He Was the Last Man On Earth

*Chapter Two: Where Is She? Searching for My Forever Girl
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

How I Found Purpose in My Young Marriage

How I Found Purpose in My Young Marriage

*My husband and I were a little older when we got married (read our Uncommon Love story). So Jami of YoungWifesGuide is sharing her beautiful perspective as a younger bride. ~ Lisa 

I wasn’t looking for Mr. Right.

I wasn’t hoping for a ring by spring. I wasn’t day dreaming about my big day or pinning wedding dresses on Pinterest. Marriage wasn’t even on my radar.

In fact, I thought anyone who got married before college graduation was probably making a mistake. It was too young. I thought you needed to live your life a bit more. Get established in your career first.

Find out who you are for crying out loud.

And then I met him.

At the ripe old age of 16, I first laid eyes on my husband near the checkout stands at a grocery store. Nine months later we started dating and a little over 2 years after that we tied the knot. I was 19 and he was 21.

In the space of just a few short years, my perspective and world view on life and marriage completed shifted. Instead of focusing on getting an internship or applying to graduate school, I was focusing on how to juggle all the responsibilities of my home.

I was learning how to be a godly wife, homemaker, and future mother without any training.

My Perspective Began to Change

It wasn’t just falling in love with my husband that changed my viewpoint on marriage. Now that we’ve been married five years I can tell you that not everyday is a fairy tale. There have been times as a young wife that we failed at communication, times when we’ve each felt lonely. Then add the stress of having twins, and our marriage hasn’t been perfect and doesn’t fulfill our every need.

But the beautiful thing is, throughout all of this: being married in college, having babies young, not having two pennies to rub together…is that God’s true design for marriage has been able to shine throughout it all.

Our relationships should be bathed in love so that they melt together

When people are shocked that I was married at 19 and had two babies at 22 and ask what we were thinking to not “live our life first.” I’m able to happily share with them, that while not everyday is perfect and our marriage is far from a romance movie, God certainly knew what he was doing when he designed marriage.

“Now, more than ever before, is the time for Christians to declare and put on display what the Bible declares: God’s standard for marriage and the family is the only standard that can produce meaning, happiness, and fulfillment”. – John MacArthur, Marriage as it was Meant to Be

I am so thankful today for blogs such as this one that address Biblical marriage. Solid, Biblical blogs that tackle the hard issues in our marriages such as communication, affairs, finances, and more. We need to always be saturating our mind with Scripture so that on those hard days, we can remember that marriage was created by God and is given as a gift to us.

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything”. (vv. 22-24).

Finding Joy & Purpose in Your Marriage

And so, whether you were married at 19 or 39, whether you’ve been married 6 months or 60 years, whether you have 0 kids or 8…remember the divine design for marriage.

Remember that marriage is the ultimate picture of Christ and the church.

Marriage is our witness field to a hurting world filled with divorce, broken families, and pain.

Marriage can be a picture that unconditional love exists and can be ultimately found in the Savior.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church”. – Ephesians 5:32

Here I am now at the ripe old age of 24. I’ve been married for just over 5 years, we have two amazing little toddler boys, we’ve had our ups and our downs, and more negativity towards our young marriage than I could have thought possible.

You might be a young couple who has heard some of these myths about getting married young, or perhaps you were married older (or are unmarried) and believe those myths about young marriage. In either case, I encourage you to sit down with your Bible, turn to Ephesians 5, and really meditate on what God’s Word has to say about marriage.

Marriage, at any age, is a joy and something that we should cherish and encourage the young people in our church to be chasing after. Please quit telling those “ball and chain” jokes, stop putting your husband down in front of your girlfriends, and focus on the fact that marriage is a gift from God and start treating it as such.

“God’s plan for marriage is marked by a holy reciprocity in which the husband’s loving headship awakens in his wife a responsive submission just as a wife’s submissive cooperation draws from her husband servant leadership. With a loving spirit, equal person hood in the image of God, and complementary roles within marriage, a husband and wife can glorify God and reveal him in unique ways by the metaphor he himself designed. Nowhere is the image of God more poignantly reflected. Fortunately, God’s plan does not depend on perfect people or perfect circumstances because it is a perfect plan. Truths recorded in holy Scripture will stand forever as the standard by which men and women created by God in his image are to live. In studying how best to make a marriage work, the closer you come to following the instructions of the Creator, the more successful you will be.” – Pat Ennis, The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook, page 73.

Jami Balmet of YoungWifesGuideJami is passionate about Biblical Homemaking and striving to be a woman of God. Jami and her loving husband Jason have toddler twin boys and are busy learning what it means to raise little boys! She has a heart for homemaking and making her home an inviting place that reflects Christ. She blogs about this passion at Young Wife’s Guide. Jami is also the creator of the Christian Homemaking Community and would love to connect with you there!

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson
*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

17 Wonderful Ways A Woman Can Find Rest & Refreshment

17 Wonderful Ways A Woman Can Find Rest and Refreshment

Poured out.

That’s how I’d describe it.

Not simply tired or busy, but completely poured out.

It wasn’t a complaint or even a whine. Just a stated fact.

I was run-down.

Now please understand, I LOVE what I do. I love being a wife and I’m happy being a mom. I enjoy running our home and I’m grateful for church and ministry.

But sometimes . . . sometimes, I get worn out. Plain and simple. With nothing left to give.

And that’s not a good place for a woman to find herself in, is it?

Done in and wiped out.

So I’ve learned that if I’m going to do this thing—this wifely-motherly-homemakey-workey-ministry thing—for the long-term? Then I needed to figure out how to find rest and refreshment so I can have what it takes to pour out to others.

A lot like you.

I need to stop. Rest. Restore. Refresh.

Now I can almost hear you protesting from here . You’ve got young children. You work two jobs. You’re taking care of your parents, or maybe his. You’ve been ill, or someone in your family has been sick. Possibly for a long time. You’re homeschooling, or carpooling, or running a ministry.

You can’t stop . . . and yet you’re poured out.

So today I’m going to share – not just one way, but 17 wonderful ways you can find rest and refreshment. And maybe you can’t do all of them, but I’m certain you can pull off at least one of them. Probably more, if you set your mind to it.

So pause a moment, won’t you? And rest along the way. 

Rest and Refreshment - Walk in the Fall

17 Wonderful Ways a Woman Can Find Rest & Refreshment

  1. Go for a walk.  Not only does a walk refresh your heart and mind, but it can also refresh your body. If I can’t get my walk in earlier in the day, I’ll pop something in the oven and when my husband gets home I’ll give him that look – the one that says I think I just might go insane if I don’t get out for some fresh air.
  2. Run a hot bath. Soaking in a warm tub, with a drop or two of essential oils, eases my stress and tired body. Makes you sleep better that night too!
  3. Read a good book. I don’t even know if I can explain it, but when I got lost in a good book, it soothes my mind and renews my perspective.(Here’s a great recommendation if you want one: Evidence Not Seen.)
  4. Change your attitude. It’s amazing how much more energy you have when you’re not fighting against what God has called you to do. So if you sense you have resistance?  Then repent, rejoice, and see how renewed you feel!
  5. Sing a song. We used to take our children on these long hikes and toward the end, when their little bodies were starting to droop, we’d sing a song the last way down the mountain. Well, it works for grown-ups too!
  6. Create a place of rest. See this swing on our front porch? This small spot of sunshine? This is one of my best places of rest. Slipping out there for a few moments does my weary spirit good (even if a small person sometimes finds me there – see #9).Swinging
  7. Pray quietly. When it’s crazy-busy and everyone is bustling about, maybe whining and crying (and that would include me too), I’ll slip back to my bedroom, kneel down, and say a small prayer. Asking God to give the strength and grace needed to carry out this day. *Highly recommended
  8. Give thanks. This one is closely related to #4 above. Rather than focus on the trials and the challenges, begin giving thanks – preferably aloud – for all the blessings that you enjoy. You just might have more than you remembered.
  9. Snuggle up. With someone you love. My personal favorite.  Taking a few minutes to cuddle with a little person . . . or maybe that Man of Yours, if he’s around. Or sometimes I just give hugs all around – from the youngest to our teens!
  10. Cancel an activity. Ha! You didn’t even know you could do this, did you! Well, you can. The world will still keep going ’round, even if you do cancel a class, a meeting, or event (I know, because I’ve tried it).
  11. Take a power nap. This is one of my secret weapons: the 20 minute power nap. Fan, ear plugs, covers over my head . . . and recharge! Try it, you’ll find it works wonders.
  12. Do something you love. Maybe this seems counter-intuitive, but sometimes doing something is even more refreshing than doing nothing. For me that might mean baking homemade bread, but for you it might mean painting, scrapbooking, writing, or building. Take an hour and just do it! You’ll feel better when you do. Rest and Refreshment - Making Bread
  13. Call a friend. Talk on the phone or see if she can meet you for coffee. Being able to laugh, cry, or share my struggles with a friend can be very healing.
  14. Turn in early. Another ha! Go to bed at an insanely early hour. Don’t watch TV, close your computer (well, after you’ve read this post, of course), forget the nagging piles, and just. Go. To. Sleep. I’m telling ya, 8 hours of sleep can make you into a new woman!
  15. Slip away for a short break. Schedule a break, dear lady. No one (no one!) was made to keep going 24 hours a day, 7 days a week–and that even includes you. Get creative if you have to, but make it happen.
  16. Soak in the truth of Scripture. Place Bible verses strategically around your house or work area that remind you of Who you can rest in. (You can get free printable Scripture cards right here.)
  17. Enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. Just stepping outside and enjoying what the Creator has designed can reach your soul and renew your spirit. Wherever you live, look up at the vast sky or find a small flower that fills you with joy and wonder.  (I love to share the beauties of the Pacific Northwest here.)

Rest and Refreshment - The Three Sisters Mountains

Don’t you feel better already? Knowing  you have all these wonderful options? I thought you might.

Pick one to try . . . and then another.  Maybe even one a day!

Rest, my friend, and be refreshed. 

For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish. ~ Jer. 31:25

*What are some of the ways you find rest and refreshment? I’d love to hear!

Resting in Him,

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P.S. Yes! Here’s a printable of these 17 Wonderful Ways. Something for you to hang up where you can see it when you’re too tired to think of ways to rest.

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson
*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

An Uncommon Love: Where Is She? {Searching for My Forever Girl}

An Uncommon Love - Where Is She, Searching for My Forever Girl

*Today Matthew is continuing with Chapter 2 of An Uncommon Love: A True-Life Love Story. You can read Chapter 1: If He Was the Last Man on Earth HERE, if you missed it. 

Chapter 2

Where Is She? Searching for My Forever Girl

Where is She? 

I’m not ashamed to admit it. I spent my whole life searching for the genuine article . . . seeking the authenticity, safety, and communion with the woman who would share my world. Most men won’t admit it but we’re all longing for our Forever Girl.

But in my case, she never showed up.

25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 . . .

Will I ever find her? Does “She” even exist?

It is not good for a man to be alone.”

That much I knew very well. Being a single Christian man in this world is a struggle, to say the least.

The Word says, It’s better to marry than to burn, so, where is she?

I’ve searched for you in every room, at every Church service, through every crowd, down every busy street, in the checkout line at every store. Where are you?

I was certain I would recognize her, instantly, if I could just get one short glimpse, just one moment when our eyes met.

Nothing.

Even so, I never stopped believing she was out there, somewhere.

So, I prayed.

A lot.

But as the years passed, the cold reality that she might never show began to creep into my anxious thoughts. Really God? You want me to be single? It’s discouraging, people.

Not that I hadn’t tried, here and there, being set up by friends. But, I didn’t want that.

I’m a one-woman-man . . . I only wanted “her” not everyone else.

An Uncommon Love - Searching For My Forever Girl

Match-Maker, Make Me A Match

Then, one day, my assistant, Linda, came into my office holding something.

Our eyes met. Clearly, this wasn’t about publishing.

“I’ve been thinking about you. I have this friend I’ve known for a long time. She’s blonde, beautiful, smart. She lives in L.A. but I was just wondering if you might be willing to meet her sometime, if she’s ever up this way . . . oh, and, here’s a picture.”

Linda said nothing as I savored the image of this beautiful young woman. But, cynicism had done its work and I couldn’t bring myself to believe in possibilities…..

An Uncommon Love - Our True Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa JacobsonContinue reading Chapter 2 of An Uncommon Love Story over at MatthewLJacobson!

*You can read Chapter 1: If He Was the Last Man on Earth HERE

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).