7. Have girlfriends.
Recently I joined ten other gals for a surprise slumber party for my friend Sue’s birthday. We did skits, we cooked, we laughed, we talked and talked. It was thoroughly invigorating. All that estrogen would have exhausted any man! Yet for us, it was pure encouragement.
Women need women. It makes us better wives.
Women understand one another.
When my kids were little, I quickly learned that I needed to be in a small group with other mothers of young children. It was all too easy for me to expect my husband to understand why I was feeling down from a long day of changing diapers, wiping noses, and breaking up sibling fights.
But sometimes he just couldn’t seem to understand or to appreciate me. I finalized realized that it was unrealistic to expect him to! He’s not a woman! What we need are other young moms who can say, “I know just how you feel. You are normal!”
Young moms need older moms with perspective to say, “You’re on the right track.” Or “You might try this…”
We need women who encourage us to grow in Christ and to move closer to our husbands. It’s dangerous to spend time with women who bash husbands. Instead, seek one or two women who will hold you accountable for growing in your walk with the Lord and loving your husband more.
Godly girlfriends will make you a better wife and mother.
Too often we look to our husbands to meet needs that would be better met by going to God first and then to some other women.
8. Practice Forgiveness.
The most important ingredient in the home is that of forgiveness. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to go to my husband and to my kids and say, “I shouldn’t have said (or done) what I did and I need to ask you to forgive me.”
I can’t remember a time when I felt like forgiving. Most of the time I’d rather tack on, “but if only you had or hadn’t…”.
I do not because I feel like it, but because God has called me to ask for forgiveness and to grant it. It can take time for feelings to be healed. But that healing can’t begin until I go and ask for forgiveness.
Our children are going to need to learn how to do this in their future marriages and with their own children. They will learn as they watch us. So in a sense, my children have a way of holding me accountable, of keeping me honest. More than anything I long for my kids to love Christ and to love their husband or wife.
So when I want to lash out at my husband, when I want to withdraw from him, when I want to blame him, I remember the kids. I know that more than anything they need two parents who love each other and who work through problems.
They need a mom is searching for little ways to strengthen communication. A mom who is seeking to show kindness even when she doesn’t feel like it. A mom who believes the best. And most of all, a mom who seeks God first.