FREE Printable: 21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

So how do you develop a close relationship with your daughter? 

How do you get to know her heart?

That’s what I shared with you a couple of weeks ago (you can read more HERE).  It’s one of the ways that I’ve been able to grow close to our girls.

I ask questions.

It’s not so much that I have the answers —mostly I have questions.

And I ask these – and more – from our daughters and then do my best to listen with all my heart.

You can download this FREE printable by clicking the link below:

Printable – 21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

FREE Printable - 21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask HerBlessings on you and your own dear girl!

In His grace,
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P.S. Also:  21 Questions Your Son Really Needs You to Ask Him 

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100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

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21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Close.

That’s how my friend described my relationship with our daughters. “She’s really close to her girls,” she informed the woman across the table. She said it as though I wasn’t sitting right there and listening.

Felt a little funny. That personal observation shared in my presence.

But it’s true – we’re very close. Those girls and me. We laugh and hug and talk about most everything.

Close.

So how did we get there? How did we grow so close?

I had to stop and really think about that one. And then this is what came to me . . . .

This closeness comes from seeking–from seeking their hearts and pursuing relationship. It comes from being interested in their thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams.

And it comes from asking questions.

I ask our daughters questions most every day. I wonder how they’re doing, what they’re thinking about, and how they’re feeling.

Because our girls need me to ask them about these things. They won’t necessarily volunteer what’s on their hearts and minds. They need me to ask and they need me to care about their answers.

Your daughter probably needs you to ask her too. 

21 Questions Your Daughter Needs You to Ask Her

21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask

Maybe you don’t know what to ask your girl, or where to begin.

If so, here’s a list of questions you might ask that sweet girl of yours….

  1. What’s on your heart?
  2. What happened in your day today?
  3. Why did that make you cry?
  4. What do you dream about?
  5. What would you do, if you could do anything you wanted?
  6. What kinds of things make you feel cared for?
  7. What is your favorite kind of food?
  8. What do you need from me?
  9. What makes you happy?
  10. What did you like about that movie?
  11. Which kind of music makes you want to sing?
  12. What are those things that make you angry?
  13. What would you like to talk about?
  14. Where would you like to visit, if you could go anywhere?
  15. What makes you afraid?
  16. What is your fondest memory?
  17. How does that (whatever the circumstance) make you feel?
  18. What makes you laugh?
  19. What have you been thinking about lately?
  20. What sorts of things are important to you?
  21. Do you know how much I love you?

So go ahead. Ask her.

Start the conversation.

And cozy up and listen to her answers.

Grow close together. Very close.

In His grace,

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*FREE Printable of these 21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

*Also: 21 Questions Your Son Really Needs You to Ask Him

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My Mom Never Taught Me to Love My Body…and Other Beautiful Lessons I’ve Learned

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Love your body.

As a graduate of the social work program, I have a tendency to have a Facebook newsfeed filled with ‘woman-empowerment’ related articles. Over the past couple of months, I began to notice more and more articles written by moms trying to teach their girls to ‘love their bodies’. The wording varied, but it seemed to be a movement around showing pride over the natural body, appreciating different sizes and shapes, and building confidence.

I got sucked in.

I began to watch my 5-year-old closely and soon began to worry if I was doing enough to strengthen her self-image. I caught myself imagining conversations down the road about eating disorders, appropriate clothing, and treating your body with respect. It wasn’t long after that I became convinced there should have been a better screening process for who was allowed to birth and raise little girls.

A month later I found myself staring out the window at my parents’ house as I continued to worry about teaching my daughter to ‘love her body’.

Maybe I should compliment her more about being kind to distract her.

Maybe I should do more to teach her that everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Maybe I should . . . let my parents raise her until she’s older.

And that’s when it hit me.

My mom never taught me to love my body. My mom never taught me to appreciate different shapes and sizes of people or that there was beauty in getting old.

She was too busy.

She was too busy teaching me how to cook as I’d spend hours sitting on the kitchen counter with my heels banging against the cupboards. She was too busy praying with us about being thankful and blessed. She was too busy thinking about the families from the school that she worked with as a parent advocate. She was too busy teaching me how to think of others.

Maybe she forgot.

Or maybe she was so busy being thankful and serving others that she didn’t think of it.

I never remember watching my mom spend time getting ready in front of a mirror (in fact, I don’t remember us owning a full-length mirror until we were older) or agonizing over an outfit. We never went for manicures as a ‘pick-me-up’ or a way to feel pretty.

As I was watching out the window I began to realize that I was too busy worrying that I was missing it. I was missing the lake and watching the wind bend the trees. I was missing my healthy daughter swinging from the neighbor’s high rope (wait . . . is that too high?) squealing with delight.

I was missing being thankful.

Not long after, we were driving on our camping trip out west and I turned to see my daughter riding with her head out the window feeling the wind in her face. She turned to look at me and said, “I’m thankful that God made so many amazing views for us to look at, mom. He must have really known what we’d like.”

I’m thankful that God made so many amazing views for us to look at, mom. He must have really known what we’d like. ~ Five-year old daughter

I hope she keeps being too busy. Too busy looking out windows and being thankful. Too busy serving others. Too busy enjoying time with family and friends.

Do I hope she loves her body? I guess.

Even more though, I hope that she is so busy living life that she doesn’t really notice.

Which brings it all back to me.

Perhaps instead of teaching my daughter to ‘love her body’,  I’ll just keep teaching her to look out, to be thankful, and to serve others.

~ Katie Trotter

Katie Trotter with her daughterI’m Katie, the wife of a supportive, funny, (did I mention extremely handsome?) husband and mother of a sweet, spunky, reptile-loving 5-year-old girl. A year ago I left a job being the Executive Director of a non-profit to home-school our daughter and do contract work. It’s been a fun and challenging opportunity that I wouldn’t change for the world.

Over the years I have learned that God is FAITHFUL and that His love and grace allow our hearts to heal, forgive, and love more than we ever thought possible.

 

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6 Truths Every Daughter Needs to Know

6 Truths Every Daughter Needs to Know

So I guess I’ll begin with a confession.

I thought it would be enough for our girls to simply grow up in a Christian family.

I thought it would take care of everything. That they’d grow up secure and unafraid having been raised in a home where they are loved so dearly. A home where we pray, read the Bible, and are part of a church body. Each one of them holding a special place in our hearts.

I thought it would be enough.

Yet I’ve come to realize that our girls need more than that to flourish and walk confidently. They need to hear certain things from me and they need to hear it repeatedly and in many different ways. There are important truths she really needs to understand.

6 Truths Every Daughter Needs to Know

She is beautiful. And I’m not talking merely about the “outward appearance” but that this girl is beautiful in every way. She must be convinced that she is a lovely person who does lovely things. It’s important – even critical – that she feels beautiful.

She is bright. Every one of our daughters is intelligent and creative – each in her own way. She has something wonderful to offer the world. She’s using her mind and growing in wisdom.

She is precious. She has to understand that she is highly valued. So she can hold her head up high and not look to others – especially the wrong others – for her esteem. She is a precious jewel who needs to know she’s treasured.

She is delightful. Just the way she is. Today and every day. She doesn’t need to change or try to be like anyone else. She needs to know that I delight in her unique gifting, her funny ways, and her sweet smile.

She is protected. No need to feel like she’s on her own. Because she isn’t.  She has loving parents who are serious about looking out for her. Safe and secure. We’ll do all we can to protect her from harm.

She is loved. Seems obvious, doesn’t it? Yes, I thought so too. But we can’t take it for granted that she believes this and feels it right down to the tip of her little toes. I have to tell her and to show her and to lavish her with my love.

As sad as it is, we live in a world that is constantly informing our young girls that they are not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough and not good enough.  These are lies. So I want each one of our girls to know the truth about herself.

She is beautiful, bright, precious, delightful, protected, and loved.

And that, my dear girls, is the plain and simple truth.

6 Truths Every Daughter Should Know

In His grace,
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