An Uncommon Love: Where Is She? {Searching for My Forever Girl}

An Uncommon Love - Where Is She, Searching for My Forever Girl

 

*Today Matthew is continuing with Chapter 2 of An Uncommon Love: A True-Life Love Story. You can read Chapter 1: If He Was the Last Man on Earth HERE, if you missed it. 

Chapter 2

Where Is She? Searching for My Forever Girl

Where is She? 

I’m not ashamed to admit it. I spent my whole life searching for the genuine article . . . seeking the authenticity, safety, and communion with the woman who would share my world. Most men won’t admit it but we’re all longing for our Forever Girl.

But in my case, she never showed up.

25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 . . .

Will I ever find her? Does “She” even exist?

It is not good for a man to be alone.”

That much I knew very well. Being a single Christian man in this world is a struggle, to say the least.

The Word says, It’s better to marry than to burn, so, where is she?

I’ve searched for you in every room, at every Church service, through every crowd, down every busy street, in the checkout line at every store. Where are you?

I was certain I would recognize her, instantly, if I could just get one short glimpse, just one moment when our eyes met.

Nothing.

Even so, I never stopped believing she was out there, somewhere.

So, I prayed.

A lot.

But as the years passed, the cold reality that she might never show began to creep into my anxious thoughts. Really God? You want me to be single? It’s discouraging, people.

Not that I hadn’t tried, here and there, being set up by friends. But, I didn’t want that.

I’m a one-woman-man . . . I only wanted “her” not everyone else.

An Uncommon Love - Searching For My Forever Girl

Match-Maker, Make Me A Match

Then, one day, my assistant, Linda, came into my office holding something.

Our eyes met. Clearly, this wasn’t about publishing.

“I’ve been thinking about you. I have this friend I’ve known for a long time. She’s blonde, beautiful, smart. She lives in L.A. but I was just wondering if you might be willing to meet her sometime, if she’s ever up this way . . . oh, and, here’s a picture.”

Linda said nothing as I savored the image of this beautiful young woman. But, cynicism had done its work and I couldn’t bring myself to believe in possibilities…..

An Uncommon Love - Our True Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa JacobsonContinue reading Chapter 2 of An Uncommon Love Story over at MatthewLJacobson!

*You can read Chapter 1: If He Was the Last Man on Earth HERE

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

An Uncommon Love: How We Met and Decided to Marry In 6 Days

An Uncommon Love - How We Met and Decided to Marry in Six Days

His suggestion came as quite a surprise.

But I didn’t really know what to expect.

We were back east visiting our son who was attending a college there.

It was his first year and our first visit.

Our first son.

A number of firsts.

I’m not saying I was nervous – just that I didn’t know what it would be like.  Wasn’t sure what he would think of us now  . . . or what his friends would make of us.  Wasn’t sure how it would all go.

He’d already been at the college for a couple of months, but for me it felt as though the first day of school.

So that’s why his proposed idea came as something of a surprise.

How about if you and dad tell how the two of you met? You know, shared your love story with my friends?

Our son went on to explain that he’d sent out an email to a bunch of his friends around campus inviting them to join us at the lunch table in the cafeteria.

He was gathering his group together because he hoped his parents would tell how they first met.

“Really…? Do you really think they’ll want to hear it?”

Oh, yeah, Mom.  Everyone loves a good love story. 

And I suppose they do.

But I never imagined sharing ours with our college-aged son and his buddies.

That was a surprise.

Our Love Story - How We Met and Decided to Marry in Six Days

*Our son (far right) and some of his friends from college

An Uncommon Love: How We Met and Decided to Marry in Six Days

Matthew and I have shared our story many times over the years. 

Late into the evening with old friends. Over a cup of coffee with new friends.  At a Valentine’s Banquet. With singles who needed encouragement. With couples who could use a good laugh. And with our son’s college friends across the country.

We always tell our story together—him and me.

I think it’s mostly because he doesn’t really tell it right. He gets people to take his side in the story, but that’s just not fair. So I have to get my word in there too (and I’m already counting on you to take my part in this, okay?). I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression!

Maybe it’s not all that unusual of a story.

Single girl meets single guy.

Starts with a letter.

Ends with a kiss.

Just another love story.

Except maybe for the part where we decided to marry six days after we met.

And that we’ve been loving each other ever since.

Maybe that’s not quite so typical.

Uncommon. 

An Uncommon Love - A True Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

NEW Series beginning next week: An Uncommon Love

An Uncommon Love.

Yeah, that’s what he called it. And I always liked the way that sounded.  So that’s what I’ve called it too.

And that’s the story we’re going to be sharing over the next few weeks.  Him and me.

About how we knew we wanted to get married only six days after our first date.

And how before that, I declared that I wouldn’t go out with him “If he was the last man on earth”. Yet somehow ended up in his arms in the end.

It’s a  story about an ordinary guy and an ordinary girl.  A story about falling in love.

About insecurities, miscommunications, self-doubts, wonder and a kiss.

Two people looking for love and waiting on God.

In true life.

An Uncommon Love - Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

An Uncommon Love: A True-Life Love Story by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson.

Starting next week, we’ll both be telling our story. But he said I could go first . . .

Chapter One: If He Was the Last Man On Earth

Doesn’t sound like it has a very promising beginning, does it? Don’t worry. It gets better.

I’ll tell you all about it . . .!

*Please share this with any friends or family who might enjoy this story too!

**And now for fun –  how did you and your husband meet? Where were you when you first saw each other? Do tell….!

In His grace,
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(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson *If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).

How My Husband Became My Best Friend

How My Husband Became My Best Friend

He often introduces me as his girlfriend.

Ever-so-slightly embarrassing.

He’ll say it to the barista at Starbucks, or the cashier in the check-out line of the grocery store. Even to the new couple we met at the homeschool picnic.

After 22 years, you’d think I’d get used to it, but it still makes me blush.

And smile.

I always hasten to add that I also happen to be his wife –an important fact to establish when you have 8 children together.

And I’ll flash my wedding ring to prove it if necessary.

I think he gets some kind of odd gratification out of my embarrassment.

Then pretends to protest, “What . . . you are my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

Yes, well . . .

It’s true: I am a girl. And I am his friend.  A close friend.

The best of friends, really.

So I guess that does make me his girl-friend.

And like most good friendships, ours has grown over time. We’ve had to invest in our friendship and look after it.

So many times people think it’s because we somehow just “click”. But while there might be some “clicking” between us, it’s more than that. Far more than that.

It wasn’t as though we instantly became best friends. It’s been a long, purposeful process.

Here is how we became the best of friends….

How My Husband and I Became Best Friends

How Your Husband Can Become Your Best Friend

By spending time together.  I know. You’re going to tell me how busy you are. I understand busy. And yet I figure I manage to get a shower (usually) and several meals a day. That’s because it’s a priority with me. I need these things.

I also need time with my husband, so I can make that happen too.

By being nice to him.  You know how you’re super sweet to your girlfriends?  Smile and cheer them on? Do nice things for them? Yeah, well, it’s kinda the same here. This friendship is no different.

Play nice.

By being interested in his stuff. So I have one friend who is really into gardening. And another who is into goats. I am not particularly keen on either of those things – but since it’s my friends we’re talking about here, I’ve decided to be interested. For their sakes.

Same with my husband.

By having fun together.  Friendships are never all business, are they? Of course not! It’s not like you sit down with your girlfriend and constantly go over the budget, or decide who is going to drive which child where.  No, you sip coffee, go fun places and laugh at each other’s stories!

Hello . . . ?

By praying for him. If you’re a friend of mine, than you already know that I pray for you.  I can’t always get away from the kids, or write long emails, but you can count on my praying for you. It’s one of my “love gifts” to my friends.

And I pray for my husband and he knows it.

Just this past week-end Matthew was out-of-town on a business trip and called to ask me to pray for him about a particular issue.  I started praying as soon as I hung up the phone.

Because that’s what friends do.

{You might also be interested in joining the 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages by Time-Warp Wife. Her Prayer Challenge is starting up this week on October 1st!}

So if you ever run into my husband and he introduces me as his girlfriend, just smile and go along with it, will you?

Maybe even tell him that you feel like you already know him . . . . since Lisa talks so much about her boyfriend. ;)

Embracing friendship.

*How do you and your husband invest in your friendship? Or what are some of the things that get in the way? I love hearing from you, friends!

In His grace,

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*I hope you’ve enjoyed our Virtual Marriage Retreat! You can still hop over to any of the links below to catch up on all the articles written for this series. 

Embrace Your Marriage - A Virtual Marriage Retreat

These 5 bloggers and I have joined together to offer a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage.

On these  5 topics . . . .

  • Embracing Grace 
  • Embracing Change  
  • Embracing Your Differences  
  • Embracing Unity 
  • Embracing Friendship 

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Embracing Unity: How Two People Can Think and Act as One

Embracing Unity - How Two People Can Think and Act As One

I think it’s pretty sweet.

What? What’s sweet?

Oh, you know the way you always check in with your husband before committing to do anything. 

“Sweet.” Hmm . . . .

Not necessarily the word I would have used.

But, yeah, I guess I do “always check in” with him.

And he with me.

Because we’ve made it our practice to think and act as one.

Some people think this is sweet, like my friend.

For other people?  It makes them shudder. Like we’re somehow just too “into” each other.

Do I ever feel stifled? Hindered? Slowed down by this whole “oneness” thing?

Admittedly, it was a new way for me to look at life – this life we’re now sharing together – but the Bible states we are no longer two people like we were before.

We are now one flesh.

So what exactly does that mean?

Surely, not simply that we sleep together.

Not that it isn’t important – because it is – but it’s got to mean more than that. One flesh is mentioned in such a way as not merely to be a matter of going to bed with him.

The two shall become one.

No longer he and me . . . because now it’s WE.

And you know what we have found? It takes a little – okay a lot of – practice and intentionality. We have to purpose to think and act as one. 

So They Are No Longer Two But One Flesh

How Do Two People Think and Act as One?

We don’t lead private lives. There’s no such thing as “his” life and “mine”. We belong to each other and so there are no secrets or hidden things. For instance, I have free access to his computer and he to mine. We have a basic knowledge where the other person is at all times. We share with each other what we’ve been thinking about, who we’ve been talking to, and what is on our heart.

Unity means being completely open with one another.

We don’t make independent decisions. We make all major decisions together and run most minor decisions by the other person. And, yes, I do believe in submitting to my husband because that’s what God says in His Word (Eph.5:22). But at the same time, I’m blessed to be married to a man who values my opinion and cares deeply about my concerns. We aim to be of one mind on most everything.

Unity means making your decisions together.

We stand together as one. As my husband reminds me, “You and I are on the inside. Everyone else is looking in from the outside.” What this means is that we are protective of our unity and don’t allow anyone – not family or friends – to try and divide us. Staying unified can be challenging enough without the added stress of others pulling us apart.

Unity means being fiercely loyal to each other.

We speak as one. You wouldn’t have to know us long before you picked up that we often say “we” and “our” rather than “I” and “my”. This is not merely one of our quirks, but language we consciously use to inform others – as well to remind ourselves – that we are in this together. It’s not about what I want or what he wants, but what WE want and what WE are thinking.

Unity means communicating your togetherness.

So that’s the real reason why I “always check in with him” and why I plan to do keep doing so. And maybe it is sorta sweet. But it’s more than that too. It’s oneness and it’s biblical marriage.

No longer two.

But one

Challenge: What are some ways that you and your husband maintain your unity? Or, what are some challenges you face in living as “one”?

In His grace,

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*I hope you are being blessed and refreshed by our Virtual Marriage Retreat!

Embrace Your Marriage - A Virtual Marriage Retreat

Every Monday in September, these five bloggers and I are offering a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage. I hope you’ll hop over to see each one of them!

And here are the topics . . . .

  • September 1 – Embracing Grace 
  • September 8th – Embracing Change  
  • September 15th – Embracing Your Differences  
  • September 22nd – Embracing Unity 
  • September 29th – Embracing Friendship 

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).