What Makes Marriage Strong and Beautiful: A Few Things You Might Not Know

What Makes Marriage Strong and Beautiful - A Few Things You Might Not Know

Love is a complicated infrastructure.

A thing you are either building up or letting fall into decay.

What makes it strong are the deeds done in the everyday walk of life.

What makes it beautiful is two unique people coming together and making their own unique kind of love.

It doesn’t come from textbooks or formulas, or to-do lists.

You’ve probably seen my parents from afar, either online here or maybe speaking at a conference somewhere. But I’ve lived around them for a long time, so in case you were wondering . . .

Here are a few things you might not know about my parents’ love:

They talk about everything.

Even tiny, inconsequential things.

Sometimes I wonder at them as they sit chatting away about a subject that seems to be of little importance. They mull it over, and in between second cups of coffee, they look at it from their different angles.

It’s a slow process, and I must confess, sometimes, as an observer, I grow impatient. Why talk about the small things of life? Schedules? Planning? Little worries and concerns?

And then it came clear to me one day . . . that to them, this was sharing life.

There are so few mountain top experiences in this life, and they could not wait at the bottom hungering for them.

They find their love, on Monday and Wednesday, and the week-end.

They make their love talking about the smallest of things.

They live their life confiding the tiniest thoughts.

They like going everywhere together.

Even to tiny, inconsequential places.

Again, this seems to me to be taken somewhat too far.

Going to feed the chickens? Let me come with you! Going to work in the garden? I’ll come.

No matter how small the destination happens to be – either of them is usually willing to tag along. It could be a trip to Home Depot, it could be to Costco. It could be to the tree nursery, or to the bank.

And all this takes place in little, dry, dusty Central Oregon.

But by their attitudes, you’d think they were going out for a round of champagne kisses.

They love touching each other.

Even in tiny, inconsequential places.

Dad and Mom like touching each other. Of course, since there are eight of us kids pretty much always around, they have to keep it toned down. But it seems to me that little touches are a thing too. Maybe brushing the back of a tired head, or stroking hair that’s gone a bit flat at the end of the day.

Sometimes I see them touching – without touching – by a look. It’s really understated most of the time.

It’s a slow burn of love, and it keeps on from day to day.

They take care of each other’s hearts.

Even in tiny, inconsequential ways.

If Dad is feeling worn out, Mom will often encourage him to go do something she knows will help him relax. Sometimes mom is feeling stressed,  and you’ll hear dad telling her to retire earlier than normal in the evening.

If one is down, the other will hurry to support. It’s like a friend thing.

Sometimes I get the feeling that they are just best friends. Not so much just lovers.

And, yes, in case you’re wondering, they argue.

And they get mad at each other . . . even sometimes for tiny, inconsequential things.

But all that never lasts long.

Their love is not perfect. It’s something much sexier than that.

It’s real.

What Makes Marriage Strong and Beautiful

With love,
Savoury Jacobson
(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)
100 Ways to Love  by Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

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What More Can You Ask For In A Husband and Father? {& Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie}

Husband and Father

As soon as I saw him interact with his younger brothers and sisters, I knew, I just knew, that one day he was going to be a great dad.

Wait, I take that back.

I knew that one day he was going to be an amazing dad to any future kids he had.

I was just hoping they would also be mine.

But back up. I wasn’t even married to him, or engaged for that matter. I had only known my now husband for about a month then, and already I was dreaming about marrying him and starting a family someday!

Lucky for me, he felt the same way.

But I’m not sure he felt that way a month after we had known each other. He took his time promising himself to me, while I was ready to jump right in and marry him, like yesterday and at 19 years old.

There was only one problem.

I had been informed by one of my doctors that it would be difficult to nearly impossible for me to have children.

Butterfinger Pie-2

Crazy In Love

We met in June, two weeks after I graduated high school. In January Josh told me he loved me for the first time. By April we were engaged and married by August.

I was 19 years old and he was 18 years old.

Just little baby newlyweds all goo-goo eyed and crazy in love.

Three weeks after our honeymoon, a nudge of intuition pushed me to buy a specific kind of test, you know…the kind that tells you if your life is going to change dramatically in about nine months?

I had planned on taking the test on my lunch break, but when my mother-in-love walked into the building where I worked, my inability to keep a secret got the better of me, and I told her my suspicions – she in turn encouraged me to take the test right away. So I did.

Butterfinger Pie-3

Right away a pink line indicating that I was going to be a parent popped up and my heart nearly burst.

I was pregnant. I was pregnant with his child.

We were going to be parents, and I would finally get to see him with a little tiny baby cradled in his arms…an image that has been prominently glued to my memory, an image that makes my heart leap and almost burst at the thought.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! ~ Psalm 127:3-5

Three kids (two daughters and a son) later, I still feel the same way as I did when I watched him first interact with his siblings. But now my heart skips a beat because I see him laughing, playing, comforting, and training them, not to mention teaching and showing them the love of Christ.

What more could I ask for in a husband and father?

Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie

Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie

It’s our church’s Father’s Day tradition of serving all the men pies after our Sunday service (they serve us breakfast on Mother’s Day).

My husband is kind of crazy about any kind of peanut butter dessert so I generally try to make something that I know he specifically will enjoy. This Peanut Butter and Butterfinger pie is definitely one of those, and if the father of your children is anything like mine, I promise that he will enjoy this pie for Father’s Day, too.

*What are some of your Father’s Day traditions?

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

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Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie with a Pretzel Crust
Recipe type: Dessert
Serves: 10
Sweet and Salty is the theme of this creamy peanut butter pie. With chunks of Butterfinger and a salty pretzel crust, it's the perfect dessert to serve this summer.
  • 1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
  • ½ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup creamy peanut butter
  • 2 cups Cool Whip, thawed
  • 12 (fun sized) Butterfinger candy bars, finely chopped
  • ½ cup hot fudge topping, melted
  • 2 cups crushed pretzel crumbs
  • 6-8 tbsp butter, melted
  1. Pre-heat oven to 250 degrees. In a food processor, process pretzels until they are fine little pieces. (You do not want a true crumb. You want the pretzel to still have some of it's former shape.) In a saucepan or microwave safe bowl, heat butter until melted. Use 6 tablespoons of butter if you want your crust to be crumbly. Or 8 tablespoons if you want a slightly firmer crust. Combine pretzel crumbs and butter until completely incorporate and pour into a 9-inch pie plate, make sure the bottom is evenly covered and the crumbs go up the sides.
  2. Bake the pie crust for 10-12 minutes. Remove and place on wire rack and allow to cool.
  3. Finely chop 9 of the fun-sized candy bars, reserving 3 for topping the pie.
  4. In a large bowl of your stand mixer using the paddle attachment, combine cream cheese, sugar, and peanut butter and beat until blended. Add whipped cream and the chopped Butterfingers and beat gently on a low speed until evenly distributed. Pour the peanut butter batter on top of the baked pretzel crust and gently, using a spatula, spread the mixture until it is evenly spread over the crust.
  5. Add the hot fudge topping to a microwave-safe bowl and heat for 30 seconds. Stir. It may not be completely melted after 30 seconds, so heat for an additional 10 secs, stirring after each interval. Gently pour and spread the hot fudge topping over the top of the pie, gently spreading the chocolate around, but leaving about a ½-inch space around the edge of the pie.
  6. Chop the remaining 3 Butterfinger bars and scatter the Butterfinger crumbs over the chocolate. Refrigerate for 6-8 hours before serving.

Those Little Things That Speak Big Volumes of Love

Those Little Things That Speak Volumes of Love

I’ve determined that my husband Ted has a foot fetish.

Okay, maybe “fetish” isn’t the right word. Perhaps “preoccupation” or “fixation” better applies here.

When I mentioned this to him the other day, he looked confused.

Foot? Fetish? Huh? Yep, his expression said it all.

That is, until I explained. Suddenly this confused look of his was replaced with one of understanding. You see, I reminded him how often matters of feet make him feel loved.

Take, for example, the matching of his freshly washed socks. In our twelve plus years of marriage, this is one action that he’s consistently responded to with an enthusiastic “You love me!”

But that’s not all.

As quirky as it may be, Ted likes me to touch his foot with my foot in the morning before I get out of bed. To him it’s a nonverbal reminder that “We’re good. There isn’t anything strained between us.” It helps him start the day freshly reminded that I love him.

And, if I really want my hot-footed husband to remember that he holds my heart, I grab a bottle of lotion and rub it on his feet while we Netflix binge watch in the evenings. Nothing like a foot massage to communicate to Ted that I’m still glad that I’m his wife.

What about your husband?

Perhaps he doesn’t have a “fantastic foot fetish,” as Ted now calls it, but I have no doubt there are little things that speak big volumes of love to your man. If nothing immediately comes to mind, perhaps it’s time to sharpen your inner Sherlock Holmes skills.

How can you do that? How can you strengthen those powers of observation?

Well, let’s get a bit scientific and look at four ways you can train yourself to be an expert in the ways of your husband.

1.     Observe

According to an article by Time, seeing and observing are not the same thing. It’s one thing “to see” or, as Dictionary.com notes, “to perceive with the eyes; to look at.” It’s another thing to “observe” or, as this trusty online resource explains, “regard with attention, especially so as to see or learn something.”

How can you make sure that you’re not simply seeing your husband, but actually observing him? You can do this by teaching yourself to focus your attention on the right details. This is where #2 comes in.

2.    Record

One way you can focus on the right details is by taking field notes. It might seem silly to pull out a notebook to write descriptions and maybe even draw pictures – you know, if you’re the artsy type – of the ways you notice your husband feels loved, but it’s something that Family Life President Dennis Rainey actually recommends. He encourages:

Become a student of your spouse. Make a list of things that communicate love to your mate and write it in something permanent that can’t be easily lost or forgotten.

3.     Analyze

Next, you can continually analyze your data. What do your notes tell you about the ways your husband feels most loved at this point in time? Is it when you speak affirming words to him? Perhaps it’s through acts of service, or maybe physical touch. Look for patterns or common threads. You know, perhaps things like feet.

4.     Test

Finally, make it a habit to regularly test out what you’re learning. Come up with hypotheses based on your observations and put them into action. Have fun determining “If I do _____, then my husband feels loved.”

In an article at ThrivingFamily.com, Dr. Paul C. and Teri K Reisser note:

Your school days may be long behind you, but you never need to stop learning. Careers, hobbies, parenting – life is full of opportunities to grow and gain new knowledge. Unfortunately, there is one subject that far too many adults stop learning about: the person they married.

Let’s not be those adults.

Instead, let’s be wives who are experts in the ways of our husbands. Wives who can confidently determine whether or not our husband has a “fantastic foot fetish.”


(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Team US by Ashleigh Slater Team US: Marriage Together by Ashleigh Slater

Like a conversation with a true friend, this book is open, real, and honest. Ashleigh invites you inside her heart and home to humbly share wisdom gained from experiences she and her husband walked through….We highly recommend this book for couples of any age. ~ Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

*You can read my full review of Ashleigh’s book HERE: A Book Review – Team US Marriage Together

Ashleigh SlaterAshleigh Slater is the author of the book, Team Us: Marriage Together (Moody Publishers). As the founder and editor of Ungrind Webzine and a regular contributor at several popular blogs and websites, she loves to combine the power of a good story with biblical truth and practical application. Ashleigh lives in Atlanta with her husband Ted and four daughters.

To learn more, visit AshleighSlater​.com. You can also find her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter at @ashslater.

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson

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How Sisters Grow Into Good Friends: Encouraging a Strong Bond Between Girls

How Sisters Grow Into Good Friends: Encouraging a Strong Bond Between Girls

I don’t mean to complain.

But I haven’t been sleeping too well lately.

It’s all the racket that goes on upstairs.

That party that seems to start up most every night.

I won’t mention any names, but they’re girls and there are 3 of them.

And they happen to be mine.

Three sisters.

Who like to stay up late (which is to say, past 10 pm) and talk and laugh. Confide and cry. And get a little crazy together.

That’s our girls.

Now – not to pull you into our personal family matters – but I will tell you that it used to annoy my husband. All that noise and chatter. His inclination was to shut it down. Put a stop to the soiree.

I protested, “But, Honey, I actually really like it. Those are beautiful sounds to me. In fact, I LOVE to hear the girls giggling late into the night.”

Because, you see,  I never had any sisters.

No built-in friends for me.

I just went to bed and lights out. No one to talk to . . . or laugh with . . . or cry on. A rather lonely deal.

But these girls haven’t had that same experience because they’ve grown into good friends.

The closest of friends.

Notice that I say “grown into” because that’s the key word here.

They were not born best-friends.

This is something that we worked on. Worked hard on at times.

I  just don’t want you go get the wrong idea. Like we’re all simply peaches-n-cream over here.  All politeness and understanding.  Soft answers and sacrificial love.

Because I don’t know what your daughters are like, but let me say this about mine.

These girls are strong. They have very different personalities and sometimes very different ideas from the others.

So this sweet friendship that they now enjoy?

It took a lot of effort and encouragement.

On their part.

And mine.

How Sisters Grow Into Good Friends: Building Strong Bonds Between Girls

How to Encourage A Strong Bond Between Sisters

Help them to appreciate one another’s differences.

They say “opposites attract” but they must not have been talking about sisters because this sure didn’t happen naturally in our home.  As the mom, I got to play a heavy role in helping the girls see the good qualities in each other. One child is dreamy and the other is practical. One child is a “messy” and the other a clean-freak. One is a chatterbox and another is quiet and more reserved.

These differences often resulted in irritation, argument, and sometimes downright jealousy between the girls.

So it fell to Matthew and me to help them get beyond these surface things and on to a deeper understanding and appreciation of each sister. To help them see and celebrate the differences.

Insist on loyalty to each other.

Each of our girls has friends outside of the family. But those friends all know that the Jacobson girls are fiercely loyal to one another. That’s just a well-known fact. So don’t even think of talking behind their backs or saying anything disparaging about a sister.

Because blood is thicker than water and all that.

And these girls stand by each other.

Take the time to talk things out.

And if you’re thinking, but that could take hours! You would be right. Yet those hours are well worth it now that they’re older and turn to each other, every bit as much as they turn to me.

So take the time and teach them the skill of working things out. They’ll have the rest of their lives to thank you for it.

Set aside time to build a friendship.

It’s not easy to grow close when everyone is busy and always scattering in opposite directions.  So we started by having a Tea Time together once a week and now that ritual has grown into Tea Time every night. Before retiring (well, before their Dad and I turn in – because their party is only beginning, as you know), we gather together for a cup of tea and discuss what went on in our day—-events, frustrations, feelings, and things of interest.

Since the girls have grown older and can drive, they like hanging out together – go out to coffee, catch a movie, or help out a family in need.

Pray for their relationship.

Often the best thing you can do is simply pray for your girls and their friendship. Pray for a breakthrough, for better understanding, and for a new closeness. Pray for healing where there’s been hurt feelings and for reconciliation where there’s been broken relationship. Pray that they grow to love one another.

How Sisters Grow Into Friends - Encouraging Strong Bonds Between Girls

Sisters & Friends

Now that two of these girls are getting ready to leave home? Head out across the country?

They’re already making plans on how they’re going to visit each other, Skype one another, and spend their holidays together.

Continue to talk and giggle and grow together.

Because, of course, that’s what good friends do.

So the party goes on . . .

And I can’t tell you how much I’m going to miss those loud, laughing noises upstairs!

In His grace,

Signature small


*What do you do to encourage friendship in your family? Did you grow up having sisters – and are you close now? 

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson

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Raising Heavenly Minded, Down to Earth Kids (small)*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get 2 FREE eBooks, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage and Raising Heavenly-Minded, Down-to-Earth Kids).

When One Small Daily Habit Makes a Big Impact {On Your Lifelong Marriage}

When One Small Daily Habit Makes a Big Impact On Your Lifelong Marriage

It was one of those gray rainy days preceded by another sleepless night with kids that were up –again.  I curled up on my couch with my early morning cup of tea while I read my Bible, prayed, and tried to get myself in a good mood before the household exploded with ten little feet.

As my brain cells began to stir I started to think about my misery and my husband. In my exhausted, early morning mental fog these thoughts tumbled out-

I wonder if he ever thinks about how I feel- how hard life is for me with all these kids.

And that thing I asked him to fix last week, it’s still broken. 

And just once, I wish he’d offer to do the bedtime and homework routine without my asking.

And that suggestion I gave him about something that might help him at the office-he didn’t think it was very good.

I wonder if he appreciates my carpooling the kids all over every day and feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing…and, and…

As I sat in my pity-party, a question entered my mind. “Susan, what if he had said:

“Honey you work so hard; I appreciate how difficult it must be especially because it feels so so mundane to you.

What if he had fixed that broken thing right away.  

What if he had come home one night and said,” I’m taking over dinner and homework; you take a break.”

What if he had said, “By the way that suggestion you gave me for work; I took you advice and it was good.”

Then what?

What I quickly realized was that I would have simply thought of something else that did not please me.

I had fallen into a “picky trap.”  Pick, pick, and pick at the things my husband does or doesn’t do.  Rehearse them in my mind. Add to the list.

I also realized that I had become an “encore wife,” a person for whom nothing is ever enough.

No matter what he did I would think of something else I wanted.  There was no way he could satisfy me.

Picky wives who also want an encore are not very much fun to live with.

And I wanted to be fun.

When One Small Daily Habit Makes a Big Impact {On Your Lifelong Marriage}

The Daily Marriage Vitamin

“Please Lord, change my heart.  Make me grateful instead of critical. Remind me of things to appreciate in my husband.”

I began to say out loud the things I was grateful for in my man.  He gets up early to pray for the kids and me. He is a man of integrity. He is even tempered. He is reliable. He has self- discipline; doing things he doesn’t necessarily like to do.

That morning I discovered what I call the “marriage vitamin.“

Every day I try to thank God for one specific thing I appreciate about my husband. Occasionally, I even tell him.

No he’s not perfect, but neither is his wife.

And yes we still let each other down, ask forgiveness, and start over again.

The thing about marriage is it’s a lifetime of growing together, of iron sharpening iron.

We never will get it just right this side of heaven. Our God is more concerned about what we learn in the process than He is about us getting it all figured out.

Even with 45 years of marriage I still get lazy and fall into the picky trap. I still need that daily marriage vitamin.

Today I find myself praying more and more that I’d lighten up and not make a big deal out of something small. And I continue to pray that we’d laugh more together at the dumb things we do.

Today, after all these years we appreciate more and more that we simply have each other. God is good and He is using us to sharpen one another.  (Proverbs 27:17)


Susan Alexander Yates

*What’s your daily Marriage Vitamin for today? Share one thing you appreciate about your husband!

Susan Alexander Yates

I’m mom to five children (including a set of twins) and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). My husband, John and I have been married almost 45 years. I’ve written 13 books and speak on the subjects of marriage, parenting, and women’s issues.  Some of my books include And Then I Had KidsAnd Then I Had Teenagers; Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest (with friend Barbara Rainey) and Character Matters!: Raising Kids with Values That Last (With John).

I write regularly for the blog: MomLifeToday.com, sponsored by Family Life. I’m a Tarheel. I love Monday night football, ACC basketball, shooting hoops with my grandsons, hiking and riding horseback with my husband, running and talking with girl friends.  My favorite time of the year is June when all my kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest: Discovering New Purpose, Passion & Your Next Great Adventure

Guide to the Empty NestYou’re done . . . but you’re not finished! And one more thing. You’re not alone. Feeling unsure? Scared? Expectant? Maybe even giddy? Is your nest empty–except for a bundle of mixed emotions? As you grieve what’s behind and daydream about possibilities, you’ll feel young again, ready for new challenges and adventures. Yet you may not know what to pursue or how to discover what’s next. Many women in this season of life wonder: Who am I now? And what should I do? How will my marriage be affected? Does anyone need me? How do I relate to my children? Is it okay to feel sad? Or thrilled? What’s next?

Barbara and Susan can be the friends you need to walk you through these new experiences. They’ll guide you to answers, and together you’ll discover a new purpose and passion for your next life adventure.

Available HERE: Barbara & Susan’s Guide to the Empty Nest

Grilled Corn on the Cob {& Filling the House With Life and Laughter}

Grilled Corn on the Cob | Club 31 Women | club31women.com #grilling

It wasn’t about showing off our new house.

The idea of “showing off” my house to family members who have yet to see our new home kind of rubs me the wrong way. Showing off implies a “me me” perspective when really all I want to do is focus on them – to make them feel welcome, invited, cared for, and loved.

Grilled Corn on the Cob | Club 31 Women | club31women.com #grilling

Josh’s grandfather drove for two days, all the way from southern California, to spend time with all of us, his family, and maybe even to be encouraged.

You see, I think I mentioned before in the Layered Taco Dip post that Josh’s beautiful grandmother, Nani, passed away last August. I still can’t believe it has been almost a year.

And for Papa, Josh’s grandfather, it’s been almost a year of figuring out what life without his beloved wife by his side looks and feels like. To go from sharing conversations, sharing a bed, sharing hobbies, and sharing a life of marriage sixty years in the making into the life of a widower, a life that no longer shares her living presence – that has to be traumatic, regardless of the amount of time you had to prepare for that day. (1 Timothy 5:3)

During one of the days he was here, we had a barbecue “joint” birthday party for my daughter Grace (who turned 11 on the 11th) and her youngest uncle, Joey (who turned 16 on the 9th). We gathered everyone over at our new home for ribs, barbecue chicken, hot dogs, baked beans, and grilled corn on the cob.

Grilled Corn on the Cob | Club 31 Women | club31women.com #grilling

It wasn’t about getting everyone down to see our new home (even though everyone wanted to see it, which was nice).

It was about filling the house with life and laughter, reconnecting with each other, sharing our hearts and some encouraging fellowship. Papa was our guest of honor, and we wanted him to feel honored and loved the moment he walked through our door.

While Grace and Joey took turns opening up birthday presents, I happened to look over at Papa and saw him smiling – to his left was a picture of himself, his beloved bride, and my three children from our trip to see them last April.

He later pulled me aside and told me that he had such a wonderful time, but that our beautiful Nani would have enjoyed being in our home, too.

Grilled Corn on the Cob | Club 31 Women | club31women.com #grilling

In honor of the birthday barbecue we had at our home over the weekend, and because Memorial Day is so close, I’m sharing this super easy grilled corn on the cob recipe. Josh is not a big corn on the cob person – unless it has been grilled, and then he really enjoys it!

There are a lot of ways to make grilled corn – you can make a spice mixture and rub it over the kernels or coat it in Mexican cheeses for a more “street” style. I’m just sharing the simple basic method you can prepare it because that is how I prefer my corn on the cob.

Also, corn on the cob, this time of year, is cheap and the perfect way to feed a crowd (seriously, if you are looking to stretch your budget for a crowd, grilled corn on the cob will save your life!). Which is what we did!

Josh grilled all the corn and afterwards some of his sisters and I husked them and broke them in half. I was skeptical that there wouldn’t be enough for everyone, but believe it or not, there was and I had leftovers…which is perfect for freezing so you can add it to soups and chowders or topping a salad with!

Losing a spouse must be unimaginably painful, but I believe being surrounded by people who genuinely love and care is some of the best medicine for grief out there.

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

*Have you ever experienced grief? What helped you and what can you do to help others with their grief?

Grilled Corn on the Cob
Serves: 4
Grilling corn on the cob in its husk makes it smoky and sweet. Add this corn on the cob to almost any outdoor meal!
  • 4 heads of corn
  • Water
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Butter
  1. If you have a charcoal grill, start your coals now. Pull the husk of each head of corn back to the base, but do not allow the husk to disconnect. Remove as much of the silk as possible, and then wrap the husk back up around the cob as tightly as possible.
  2. Fill a large bowl with cold water, and soak the cobs for at least ten minutes. If you're using a gas grill, preheat the grill now.
  3. Place the corn on the grilling surface, trying to keep the husk between the grilling surface and the kernels whenever possible. Close the lid and grill for five minutes.
  4. Open the lid and turn the corn, again using the husk as a barrier for the kernels when possible. Close the lid and grill for an additional five minutes.
  5. Open the lid and turn a final time. Grill with the lid close for an additional five minutes, or until the kernels are easily popped with a grilling fork. Serve immediately and carefully, as both the husk and the corn itself will be very hot. Serve with butter, salt, and freshly ground black pepper.