It’s not easy to define what success in a relationship means because relationship is a very fluid thing.
It moves and breathes.
It changes with time.
But I can tell you that my mother and I have a successful, close relationship. And I’m pretty sure this is one of the main proofs:
I’ll call her until the day she dies.
My mom and I talk as much as we can in our busy lives. When I traveled around Europe, as I prepare to move across the country—it doesn’t matter. If we can’t talk in person, we use the phone.
You see, my mom is not just a “person” in my life. She is not just the woman who gave me birth, she is the woman who gave me life.
Because of my mom, I know I can fly. She is the first person I want to cry to and the first person who hears my good news.
So, this mother of mine asked me to write about what every daughter desires to hear from her mom.
And this is my answer—for all the women who were perfectly made to be the moms of their precious daughters:
I will listen.
It’s no secret that girls are usually talkers. We have lots to say, and even if we don’t initiate the conversation, it’s very likely we still have lots to say. If your girl is a talker: let her. If she is quiet, give her time and space to open up. Create opportunities for her to tell you the secret things.
I value you.
The power a mother has over self-esteem cannot be measured. It is limitless. Communicating and saying, I value who YOU are as a person, I value your gifts, I value who you were made to be, can change your daughter’s life. It can give strength to her soul. It will give her the strength to fly. Every girl is different. Value her, just for her.
You are my friend.
Your daughter will always have to face enemies. So make sure she knows you are her friend. Be on on her team. You are rooting for her. Include her in your life. Ask her advice. Tell her that you are going to be best friends for life. As she grows older, eventually, this can come true.
I love you…no matter what.
Love is transcendental. Love is safety. Love is approval. Give your daughter your love. Tell her. Show her. Approve of her with your looks. If she is different than you, rejoice in her giftings. Don’t try to make her like you.
So there it is.
And mamma, you just hang in there with that little girl. We grow up. But we will always need you.
Really, you have always been the perfect thing we needed.
~ Savoury Jacobson
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