Most of you know I’m blessed to be the mom of four daughters.
And that I love these girls all to pieces.
They are my dear friends and the ones I go to when I need prayer or encouragement. Or help. Or even advice, now that they’re getting older.
And coffee. I definitely go to them for coffee.
And they come to me for chocolate.
So you can see that we’re very close, these girls and me.
Even though each one is so different with her own unique personality. With her own individual strengths and weaknesses. And me with mine.
And we talk together and laugh and sometimes cry. Then talk some more and hopefully laugh again.
Because . . . well, because we’re girls, I guess.
And we’re growing up together. These girls and me.
Maybe you’ve got a girl too?
If so, then I’m sharing today on how to become friends – close friends – with your daughter as she (and you) grow up together. Things I hope will encourage and help you with your girl too…..
Blessings on you and your girl too!
In His grace,
Other encouraging articles for moms and daughters:
What Every Daughter Desires to Hear from Her Mom
21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her
24 Ways to Prepare Your Young Girl to Become a Lovely Woman
A Dozen Ways to Look After Your Daughter’s Heart
Lisa
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Boy, I needed to hear this again today. I know I listened to it before, but needed this again today.
Thank you SO much for leaving it here for us to view again.
~Nancy
This has helped me so much. How do you overcome the problems that build walls because of the ungodly decisions that they have made. It has made me and their dad so hurt and disappointed. When 2 of my girls made choices to move in with their boyfriends, they don’t attend church. All 3 of my daughters have been raised in a Christian home and they know right and wrong. It’s really hard to know how we are to respond, and love them through this. This has hurt our whole family.
Thank you so much for sharing this, having a daughter, daughter-in-law, 3 granddaughters and 2 goddaughters – so this post was very encouraging. I will make the time to just spend time with older girls as the granddaughters / goddaughters are still quite young so fun and teaching there, and there never seems time to just have coffee and a catch up, i will schedule this on a regular basis
Glad to hear it! What a blessing that will be to them (and you too)!
Mrs. Jacobson,
You are a true blessing! I feel like you are living my life right now. You have really encouraged me to push forward at this time when everything seems to be falling apart around me. Thank you always for your encouraging words and actions. God is good all the time.
So glad you’re encouraged, Nicole! Blessings, Lisa
Dear Lisa,
I’ve been receiving great reads from club31 women for about a year, and I’ve gotta say, I really love it! Thanks for pouring out such Godly love and mothering to all us younger mommas! 💜 I am an encourager, and thus it’s also easy to get discouraged. You are speaking my language, and I sincerly appreciate it! 😊😍👍 I also really love passing various articles along to different girlfriends as God leads. Please keep going!
I’ve been digesting last week’s visit concerning anger. It’s so real. I hear you when you say you never imagined yourself raging at your kids. It’s amazing how different reality is from novice ideals, when the heat of life gets cranked up a few hundred degrees! Something I continue to carry with me is the truth that I can be at peace in my home because of my own heart-stance before the Lord, regardless of what is going on around me. And that when I’m focusing on developing intimacy with Jesus, Jesus will handle my “stuff”.
My 7yr old daughter, Ahna, and I have our challenges, and our sweet spots. I gleaned some timely encouragement from your segment today. Specifically, making time for both fun together as well as work together. I feel I was brought up way, far over to the work side of the work-play continuum in my growing-up relationship with my mom. I literally have had to learn HOW to put work aside and play with my kids-many thanks to a dear friend who has that love language down and tutors me regularly with her example and her wise words. (I’m still learning that one!)
My question for you is, how do you respond to attitude? The past month or so, I’ve seen and heard more from Ahna than I ever care to again. My suspicion is that she is being largely influenced by a particular friend at school. Attitude is like a sloppy cold….put an infected kiddo in a roomful of kiddo and presto: snot fest. I’d love any insight you might have.
Blessings abundant!
Glori
I”m so glad you’ve been encouraged here, Glori!
As for “attitude,” I wouldn’t accept that but remove privileges as a consequence. Also, if at all possible, I wouldn’t hesitate to remove as much of that negative influence as possible. Most of all, I’d pray for wisdom in that situation – and God has answered so many of those prayers over the years. God bless, Lisa
Dear Lisa,
I have one boy (11) and one girl (8), and I totally appreciate what you’ve shared for both of my children’s sake. I think some of these same things can apply to boys, too, but of course in a slightly different way since boys see/feel things differently than girls. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope that I can put many of these tips into practice as my girl grows up, but also with my boy, too.
God bless!!
It’s true – there are a lot of similarities! I focused more on the girls this time, but am grateful for my friendship with our sons too.
My daughter is 16 and we have been in an extremely difficult season for the last year and a half. I pray we are on the path to recovery but I am still fearful that our relationship will never be close and loving. Your words are encouraging and I pray God will bless our relationship.
Hang in there and don’t give up! You can go through a “rough patch” and make it to the other side. It might not feel like it now, but I’m testimony that you can. Love on her and pray like crazy.
My daughter & granddaughter had this kind of a relationship with each other~they laughed , cried & cleaned house together, worked on church projects together at home & at church. Two days after my granddaughter turned 18 she moved in with her boyfriend & his family which was 8 weeks ago yesterday. My daughter is devasted & when I spoke with her yesterday she told me she is depressed & feeling like a failure as a mom. She & her daughter text each other . My daughter has invited her to coffee, lunch, go shopping but my granddaughter says no each time. She does not want to leave her boyfriend. My granddaughter was planning to leave on Seotember 21 to be a part of WHAM but did not go because of boyfriend. The hurt is deep–she left the house 8 weeks ago with her mother crying & pleading with her not to go. If anyone would have told us she would go live with her boyfriend we would have said, no not Maleah. My daughter & I have this friendship relationship & I encourage her as Godvleads me. I am very concerned about both of them but especially my daughter because of the deep hurt & depression. Would you please pray for my daughter, Heather & her daughter , Maleah. Pray for their relationship to be restored & for Maleah to turn back to God & not live with her boyfriend & his family. This has been sooooooo painful for me that I have not talked about it with friends so thank you for letting me share it with you in this comment.
I can only imagine the heartache there! I will pray for Heather and Maleah both – for reconciliation and healing. So sorry, my friend. 🙁
Hi Lisa, I really enjoy reading your blogs and learning about your experiences with your girls. I have three girls. My eldest is 13 (and little ones are 8 and 7). This daughter video could not have come at a better time. I had my first big scary teen moment yesterday. Sure there has been some attitude, hormones, etc. that my husband and I have ventured through recently, but this one last night was new. Internet safety. I have a question for you. Did you have concerns with internet safety with your four girls? Do you have more concerns for your boys than your girls? I have boundaries, rules, and even no cell phones (I don’t even own one), however, I still find innocent kids websites/games can have “preditors” and scary stuff typed from someone somewhere trying to get away with something…. How did you handle internet safety? Look forward to your response. ~ Marisa
The short answer is “yes” I definitely have concerns about the internet! We have fairly strict rules with our younger kids (16 and under) and we also talk openly about the dangers so that they’re not caught unawares. We don’t have an “internet protection” system, but we’re considering it. I don’t think it takes care of all the problems, but at least it helps the inadvertent creepy stuff. Mostly we try to teach them on what to watch out for and avoid. As for boys and girls, maybe we’re slightly more concerned for our sons, but only slightly.
Our daughter is currently 23,has a full time job,2 pups of her own,doing her masters degree online ,& we have different personalities,even sense of humor also. Basically she gets along better w/ my hubby because they understand each other,& have similar personalities. Personally can’t afford to do girly things together @ this time in our lives. We have 3 dogs of our own. Especially since she still teases me,& now that I saw your video about this subject fully know that’s wrong. Therefore,how do I strengthen our relationship more now than ever?
A couple of approaches come to mind, Wendy. One is to arrange for a sit-down time to talk things through. Discuss directly your desire to have a closer relationship with her and ask her what kinds of things would be meaningful/helpful to her. The other, less-direct way is to communicate in small, but consistent ways your heart for her. Sometimes – just sometimes – a good way is to slowly build up your friendship through little notes, texts, and thoughtful gestures. Sometime to pray about?
So many great tips! My desire has always been to find a balance between having a good friendship but still being a parent to our children. I loved your point that you still required a level of respect and that in the long run it made for a deeper relationship. My daughter is only 1 1/2 right now but I will be keeping these points in mind as we raise her.
Blessings on you and your little girl, Robin!
Thank you so much for this video Lisa! My daughter (15) and I recently went through a really rough patch this past spring. I thought our relationship was going to be permanently damaged and unrepairable, because of the very bad decisions she was making, and the hurtful things she said and did to me. I prayed and prayed, and cried out to God so many times to restore our relationship. I am happy to say our relationship is much stronger now, and as God keeps working in her and she continues to mature, a friendship is slowly starting to evolve. Thank you again Lisa and God bless you and your family.
How encouraging this is to hear – both to me and anyone who read it. It can be so hard, even heartbreaking, when we’re struggling in the relationship with our own child. But I’m with you, by God’s grace and through much prayer, it can get even better over time.
Thank you Lisa. I just need this right now. I need to belive in friendship with my daughter now that she’s 18 and I’m afraid to lose her…I feel like I’m back to a child and she’s so far away…
Thank you so much and have a good day
Francesca
Thank you for sharing! It spoke to my weary heart especially about not to utter ‘I give up’ and the impact of these hurting words. U have blessed more than a someone in Singapore! My children will be the blessed recipients. Please keep sharing and I need to learn how to be a better mum to my 3 God given children.
Cheers Christine
Thank you so much for the wonderful word….I’m blessed by your speech…u R a blessing to many….
What a blessing to hear from a friend all the way from Singapore! Thank you for coming and glad you were encouraged too!