She wasn’t sure how it even happened.
It’s not what either of them had ever intended.
There was a time when she felt close to him, but now . . . somehow . . . they seemed so far away from each other.
I suppose they could blame it on the kids. I mean, it’s a lot of time and work to raise children.
Maybe it was her health issues and all that she’d gone through as of late.
Or maybe it was his job. It seemed to take everything out of him and he was away a lot of the time.
Perhaps it was all the problems with extended family, or the ministry. So much to do and so many people to care for.
In any case, here they both were. Living in the same home. Standing in the same spot. But feeling a cavernous distance between them.
So how do you draw closer together . . . when you’ve drifted so far apart?
7 Ways to Draw Closer Together
1. Be the one to make the first move. Don’t wait for him to start the steps forward. Reach across the span and see if you can’t bridge the distance.
2. Be willing to open up. Be the one who starts the discussion – just make sure it’s encouraging, building-up talk. This isn’t the time to address all the things wrong with him, or what you’re unhappy about. Think of at least one small thing you can be thankful for and begin there.
3. Please don’t give up. No matter how discouraged you are with where you’re both at. Dig in for the long haul and determine to make it work.
4. Slowly move together. In the same way you had slowly moved away. Lasting changes are often made incrementally and gently over time. And before you know it, you’re looking back and seeing how far you’ve both come.
5. Reach out for help. Friends, we were not made to walk through this life alone. Call out to a friend, or a godly, older couple at your church that you can ask for help. Get professional counseling, if it’s necessary. A wise, outside perspective can make all the difference in many cases.
6. Pray for your marriage. Ask God to renew your love for each other. Ask Him to show you any blind spots or barriers that are between you. Pray with faith and pray for change.
7. Remember that you love each other. Because sometimes we lose sight of that, don’t we? We get caught up in the busyness and pressures of daily life, that we forget that we actually like each other. That we used to be crazy-in-love with on another.
And when that happens?
Sometimes the best thing you can do is to take a little time out and time away to remind each other of those things that drew you together in the first place.
So take a step toward him.
Make a move and see what God does for you both.
In His grace,
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