He often introduces me as his girlfriend.
He’ll say it to the barista at Starbucks, or the cashier in the check-out line of the grocery store. Even to the new couple we met at the homeschool picnic.
After 22 years, you’d think I’d get used to it, but it still makes me blush.
I always hasten to add that I also happen to be his wife –an important fact to establish when you have 8 children together.
And I’ll flash my wedding ring to prove it if necessary.
I think he gets some kind of odd gratification out of my embarrassment.
Then pretends to protest, “What . . . you are my girlfriend, aren’t you?”
Yes, well . . .
It’s true: I am a girl. And I am his friend. A close friend.
The best of friends, really.
So I guess that does make me his girl-friend.
And like most good friendships, ours has grown over time. We’ve had to invest in our friendship and look after it.
So many times people think it’s because we somehow just “click.” But while there might be some “clicking” between us, it’s more than that. Far more than that.
It wasn’t as though we instantly became best friends. It’s been a long, purposeful process.
Here is how we became the best of friends….
How Your Husband Can Become Your Best Friend
By spending time together. I know. You’re going to tell me how busy you are. I understand busy. And yet I figure I manage to get a shower (usually) and several meals a day. That’s because it’s a priority with me. I need these things.
I also need time with my husband, so I can make that happen too.
By being nice to him. You know how you’re super sweet to your girlfriends? Smile and cheer them on? Do nice things for them? Yeah, well, it’s kinda the same here. This friendship is no different.
By being interested in his stuff. So I have one friend who is really into gardening. And another who is into goats. I am not particularly keen on either of those things – but since it’s my friends we’re talking about here, I’ve decided to be interested. For their sakes.
Same with my husband.
By having fun together. Friendships are never all business, are they? Of course not! It’s not like you sit down with your girlfriend and constantly go over the budget, or decide who is going to drive which child where. No, you sip coffee, go fun places and laugh at each other’s stories!
Hello . . . ?
By praying for him. If you’re a friend of mine, than you already know that I pray for you. I can’t always get away from the kids, or write long emails, but you can count on my praying for you. It’s one of my “love gifts” to my friends.
And I pray for my husband and he knows it.
Just this past week-end Matthew was out-of-town on a business trip and called to ask me to pray for him about a particular issue. I started praying as soon as I hung up the phone.
Because that’s what friends do.
So if you ever run into my husband and he introduces me as his girlfriend, just smile and go along with it, will you?
Maybe even tell him that you feel like you already know him . . . . since Lisa talks so much about her boyfriend. 😉
*How do you and your husband invest in your friendship? Or what are some of the things that get in the way? I love hearing from you, friends!
In His grace,
Marriage Wisdom for Her is the kind of book you’ll want to share with all your girlfriends–but you’ll want to keep your own copy close at hand to re-read often.
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