One Simple Way to Start a Small Blaze in Your Marriage

Let’s look beyond our own desires so we can better meet the needs in our marriage.

I could hear his footsteps.

Unmistakable. Firm, solid feet. Man-steps.

Quite different than the quick pattering of all the other little feet I’d heard throughout the day.

Madly chopping and slicing, I never even looked up when he entered.

I felt frantic and stressed, knowing everyone was so hungry and I so far behind in my dinner preparations. My intentions had been good . . . .

It’s just that I hadn’t anticipated that broken glass earlier in the afternoon. Nor the quarrel between the two children that soon followed. All of this took time. Then that last urgent phone call put me hopelessly behind schedule.

And that’s how he found me.

Madly chopping and slicing.

He came in behind me, slipping his strong arms around my waist and leaned into me.

I should have felt electricity, but mostly I felt annoyance. Irritation.  He was slowing me down.

I could immediately sense his disappointment. Could feel his arms drop. Without missing so much as a chop, I tried to explain as I kept prepping away.

Explain about the day and all its stresses and frustrations.

How behind I was in . . . well, in just about everything. I thought it might help him understand.

He understood alright.

He understood that those carrots took precedence over him. That I was so busy and my tasks so important, that I didn’t have a minute to acknowledge him. I couldn’t be bothered to turn around.

But I wanted him to know that it was simply a matter of timing. I just wasn’t ready for love at that moment.

Wasn’t ready for love?

Did that really come from my mouth? From my heart?

The man needed his dinner. No doubt.

What he needed even more? A warm, welcoming wife.

I was so worried about filling his stomach that it seemed I forgot about filling his heart.

But what if….what if I’d done it differently.

What if I had dropped those carrots, swept the celery aside, turned around, clasped my hands around his neck,

and . . . Ummm . . .

Leaned back into him.

Stopped my whole world and interrupted my hectic schedule and important plans. To love on him.

What then?

Then he and I could have started a small kitchen fire.

Warming Up Your Marriage

So what does a husband really need? More than dinner.

He needs your eyes to light up when he enters the room. He needs to know how thrilled you are that he’s home. How your heart leaps because you two are together again.

He needs a warm, welcoming wife.

So very warm – that the two of you alone could start a small kitchen fire.

I don’t know when the last time you had a bit of a blaze going? But I highly recommend it.

No matter what’s gone on in your world, or happened in his day.

Take a few minutes to turn around and lean into him.

Welcome him home. Warmly. 

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

*This is an excerpt from 100 Ways to Love Your Husband


Matt and Lisa Jacobson, authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, are the hosts of a weekly podcast to talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture. Matt and Lisa offer deep encouragement, along with practical steps and true-life stories, as we grow in walking the faithful life together.

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The Flirtation Experiment

The Flirtation Experiment

So what is the secret to a happy, thriving, loving marriage, where the fire of romance and close friendship do not fade?

From popular Christian voices Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer, The Flirtation Experiment inspires you to strengthen your marriage with a fun, unexpected approach that leads to the depth, richness, and closeness you desire. 

Ready to make a significant impact on your marriage . . . one small flirtatious experiment at a time?

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