Our young teenage son came up to me with this troubled look on his face.
Clearly, he was facing some terrible dilemma and so I asked if I could help out.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “It’s just this dumb school assignment we were given.”
That was a bit discouraging to hear, considering this was only the first day of the school year.
His class was studying Shakespeare and they were starting with, “The Taming of the Shrew.”
While not exactly a Shakespeare expert, I hoped to offer something that would relieve the poor boy’s mind.
“So what’s this impossibly tough assignment?” I asked.
List 5 things that go into a good marriage.
Then being the sensitive mother that I am . . . I burst out laughing. (Not a recommended parenting technique, by the way. Especially with teenagers.)
“Are you serious, Son? That’s the question that’s stumped you so badly? A good marriage??”
He got a little defensive. “Well, what do I know about marriage? I’m just a teenage boy. I’ve never been married before!”
Good point.
But I just couldn’t leave it there.
“True. But you’ve been watching marriage your entire life. You see your dad and me. Up close. Every day. So I’m guessing you know far about marriage than you even realize.”
Slight scowl. This still wasn’t working for him.
Apparently, we were going to have to come at this from a different angle.
So I tried to think of what was important to him and what would speak to his heart. And that’s when it came to me….
Friendship.
This young man truly values friendship and has a fairly strong idea of how a real friend looks and acts.
So I tried again. This time with the rest of the family at our morning coffee time together.
“You see, marriage is a lot like friendship. A lifelong friendship. So what are those qualities that you appreciate in a friend? Because you’ll find that there are more similarities there than most people know.”
And that’s the point where the conversation really got rolling . . . .
Join me over at our home for the rest?
Download Printable HERE: A Good Marriage & Close Friendship
*All Scripture verses are from the ESV Bible
If you have troubles downloading, please wait and try again in a few minutes. It’s likely due to too many people on at the same time, and so this can momentarily “jam up” the system.
Also, mentioned in the video is this post and printable(s): How to Build Up Your Marriage, Child, Home….One Word at a Time
And if you missed last week’s Real Life on PEACE, you can find it here. Here, I share about what I like to call crazy peace. That kind of peace that doesn’t make any sense and that surpasses all understanding. You can join me now here.
**For Part 2 of this discussion on Marriage & Friendship, go—->HERE
Thank you for joining me here and sharing Real Life together! I’ll look forward to talking with you again next week!!
*I’d love to hear from you too, so please say what’s on your heart, share your hope, and/or ask a question in the comments below! I think you’ll find there’s a beautiful and supportive community here at Club31Women.
In His Grace,
Lisa
Latest posts by Lisa (see all)
- How to Protect Your Marriage from Emotional Adultery – May 14, 2019
- How to Heal Broken Relationships in the Church – May 7, 2019
- What God Wishes for the Mom with Little Children – April 30, 2019
- How to Improve Your Communication for a Better Marriage – April 23, 2019
- Are You Longing for a Close, Authentic Church Community? – April 16, 2019
Jozie Mader says
October 24, 2016 at 3:37 pmI am very thankful for your articles and that you share your thoughts and everyday life with us. However it seems I often can not find 1/2 of your article… Am I missing something? I can only find the first 2 points made (in which I whole-heartedly agree with) but I would also like to hear what the next 3 are…
Thank you again. 🙂
Lisa says
October 26, 2016 at 12:38 pmOh yes, I should have linked to it, but there’s a Part 2 and here it is: Those 5 Things In Your Marriage – Part 2 Sorry about that! (I’ll go link it in the main article here too)
Kendra says
September 8, 2016 at 12:12 pmThank you Lisa! It is an ongoing challenge–or like my mom says, “opportunity”– to be careful and gentle with my words both to my friends and fiance’. Will keep you in mind as I continue praying for strength in this area.
Also, Club 31 Sisters, thank you for your prayers over the last few weeks. My prayer for professional guidance has been answered 🙂
Allison McIntosh says
September 8, 2016 at 2:06 amThank you Lisa! As always it’s a pleasure and a true delight to “come over and spend time,” even if we are on the other side of the country! Thank you for continuing to share and live out God’s word, in grace and truth! Joy to you, dear friend!
Hannah says
September 7, 2016 at 6:33 pmThank you for this morning talk. You spoke straight to my heart. I have recently been struggling with health-imbuing communication with my husband, and instead falling into that unintentional arguing that is so destructive. It is time for a change in our home, and I am determined to make it! Thank you.
Caroline says
September 7, 2016 at 1:44 pmDear Lisa,
Thank you for this session. Great words. I was looking in my bible as you spoke and discovered that Proverbs 16:24 is the verse that speaks about `Pleasant words are as honeycomb….`not Proverbs 29:11. Just wanted you to know. Thanks again – Caroline
Lisa Jacobson says
September 7, 2016 at 2:13 pmOops! (That’s what happens when you’ve got too many Bible verses going) Thanks for pointing it out!
Robin Grimm says
September 7, 2016 at 11:24 amGreat discussion! Thank you so much and congrats on 24yrs! We just celebrated our 2nd last month and I have enjoyed reading both you and your husband’s blog the past year or so. It is always encouraging and shows me where/how I can better love and support my Husband. I definitely need to work on building him up more with my words. Verbal affirmation is not my strong point but is one of his love languages so really want to work on getting better at it.
Lisa Jacobson says
September 7, 2016 at 2:15 pmThank you, Robin! And congratulations on your 2nd anniversary too! That verbal affirmation can get easier – just takes some practice and a little determination. 🙂
Lisa Moore says
September 7, 2016 at 7:43 amCongrats and happy 24th anniversary. I appreciate your insights. My husband and I should have been celebrating our 24th in June but are separated. Communication has not been one of our strengths. I admit I have failed at building him up over the years. Part of it may be my own insecurity, but that’s no excuse. He has been “dating” another woman who is probably more affirming to him … she makes him feel secure. I know I don’t deserve another chance. .. I have wasted what God gave me. And, yet, I have been praying for just that chance. Do you think God would take someone who has been good to him out of his life in order to let me back in?
Lisa Jacobson says
September 7, 2016 at 2:17 pmI’m sorry to hear of your situation, Lisa. While I can’t say what might happen, I DO believe in a God of miracles and will be pray for you – and reconciliation in your marriage.
Allison McIntosh says
September 8, 2016 at 2:03 amLisa Moore, I know you do not know me but I wanted you to know that you are in my prayers! It’s a story too long to share here, but I have seen God do miracles in mine and others’ marriages the past few years. While I have not walked a mile in your shoes nor do I know the details of your situation, I know our Prince of Peace, and I have experienced His healing and reconciliation in ways I do not have the proper words to describe. Hold fast to Jesus and know that nothing is too hard for Him, and it’s never too late for a marriage to be healed and restored! Much love and prayers coming your way from NC!!!
Lisa Moore says
September 8, 2016 at 10:45 amThank you so much for the encouragement! I know God is working and He can do anything.
Laura Perkins says
September 7, 2016 at 5:31 amGood morning, Lisa! Thanks so much for sharing and giving encouragement in this way to us ladies! Congratulations on your 24th Anniversary!! That is very special as my husband, Sean❤️I will celebrate 24 years also this fall! The Lord has just recently brought to my attention the real need for me to choose to believe in my husband and I appreciate the encouragement to affirm that in his life! I know God speaks to him, and often to me thru him, and I want to honor him by resting in his leadership and not hold back in fear, which I struggle with often. Thanks again and many blessings to you and your family!
Jessica Diaz says
September 7, 2016 at 7:18 amGood Morning,
The Lord is so good. He is working me on this same thing. My husband and I both are blind. Jobs are so hard to come by and my husband has been blessed with the same job for 13 years. The amount of paperwork he now has to do though for the state is a stressful thing and at times over the last few years I have gotten so angry about him not being able to keep up. The Lord has revealed to me that I am the closest cheerleader for my husband’s success on earth and that I can bless him with encouragement and understanding at all times. Congrats Lisa on 24 years. Next year will be number 5 for us.
Lisa Jacobson says
September 7, 2016 at 2:23 pmThat must be such a challenge for you both, Jessica! I can only imagine the paperwork that he must go through (and paperwork is one of my least favorite things to do!). I hope you can BOTH be encouraged as you walk through life together. Blessings, LIsa
Lisa Jacobson says
September 7, 2016 at 2:20 pmThank you, Laura! And a warm congratulations to you both as well!! Glad to hear that the message spoke to you – and can’t wait to hear how God continues to work. Blessings, Lisa