Raising Children to Be Mature in Christ
I watched her take the stage—poised and confident—though I knew she was fighting butterflies inside.
She stood before the judges, ready to defend her senior thesis, the culmination of her high school years. And as I sat there, holding back tears, I couldn’t help but think of where it all began.
It felt like just yesterday, Lyric and I had gathered around the IKEA table we purchased while living in Oxford to begin our homeschooling journey. I was new to homeschooling, new to England, and still trying to get my youngest to sleep through the night.
Where do we begin?
Well, I can certainly teach her how to read, I thought.
So, we started there. Simple. But those small beginnings around that table were the first fruits of something much greater.
And now, here she stood on stage—eighteen years old—tackling the philosophical question of meaning. I could still see my little girl in her smile.
That evening, I was reminded of the verses the Lord gave me years ago for my children:
“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that He powerfully works within me.” ~Colossians 1:28-29
These words became my compass for parenting.
Colossians made my end game clear: present them mature in Christ.
Whether you are educating your children at home, sending them to school, mentoring children in church, or serving others in any way, I think these verses benefit us all.
The time we are investing in others’ lives is a small offering. We get to give back to God what He has so graciously given to us. These verses offer a blueprint of how to make the most of our time with them.
A Biblical Vision for Parenting
As parents, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture.
Daily responsibilities press in. Urgent needs crowd out what’s essential. We can spend so much time managing behavior or checking boxes that we forget to ask:
What is the goal in parenting these treasures we have been entrusted with?
I love how this verse makes it so simple: focus on maturity in Christ.
This reframes everything.
Our goal is not performance. It’s not outward “good behavior.” Our goal is Christlikeness. There is no other measuring stick.
And yet, how often do we subtly replace that goal with our own?
We prioritize achievement over character. Push our children to be involved in activities they don’t necessarily love. Rush through lessons while heart issues go unaddressed. We miss moments of wonder in our hurry to stay on schedule.
But we are not trying to change our children. We are trying to cultivate them. God has already designed them with purpose. Our role is to nurture what He has placed within them, guiding them to maturity in Christ.
So, let’s ask ourselves honestly:
Am I pursuing Christlikeness in my children—or something else?
What is so beautiful about Colossians 1 is that maturity in Christ is not only the end goal, but He is also the way, the means to reaching that goal. It is all about Him
I love how Augustine wrote this of Christ,
“And thus, though Wisdom was Himself our home, He made Himself also the way by which we should reach our home.”
We don’t just teach principles. Don’t just manage behavior. We proclaim a Person.
Christ, who is our home, meets us until we finally reach our eternal home. We are walking with our children toward eternity, and Christ walks with us every step of the way.
But this kind of parenting is not effortless. Paul says, “For this I toil.”
Gaining maturity costs something. It requires labor and pains. The word Paul uses for “toiling” in this verse means to work to the point of exhaustion. We get up early. Sometimes, we stay up late. We give of ourselves so that we might invest in our children’s future.
But here’s the hope: we can be confident we are not doing this alone.
Our struggling is with all His energy that He powerfully works within us. Just think about the energy we have: Christ’s! That is so powerful!
It is not our own strength, it is not our own wisdom, it is not our own talents that achieve this goal. It is His power that enables us.
Though we will struggle, His energy works powerfully inside us. The word “struggling” has the idea of agonizing, like an athlete in the height of his competition. It means we push for the finish line with every bit of strength we have.
We will become weary. There will be days we want to throw in the towel. But we press on —with His strength.
We desperately need His energy, and we are promised it. This is the power we can rely on in the toiling. The same power that raised Christ is sustaining us daily. That is our confidence.
And so, as I watched Lyric that evening, ready to graduate from high school, I was reminded again of the vision He gave me years ago:
“For this I toil.”
Not for perfect outcomes or impressive results. But for hearts mature in Christ.
In His Word
As we seek to present others mature in Christ we need wisdom. Meditate on James 3:17. We seek wisdom that “is first pure; then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Our wisdom derives from another kingdom.
In Your Life
Clement of Alexandria saw maturity as embracing the entire man—soul, body, and spirit. How can we inspire our children’s souls? What activities will train their body? How do we nourish their spirits? Their entire being is involved in the maturity process.
We Recommend
The Marveling Studies by Chris and her husband, Tim Willard. This online course is designed to give you inspiration and tools to create healthy, God-centered rhythms for your family and home environment as well as your personal spiritual formation. The course includes over 3 hours of audio and video sessions to help cultivate intimacy with God.
Let’s Connect
For inspiration on tending to heart and home, follow Chris on Instagram. She also writes devotionals through her Mend membership newsletter on Substack.