Because You Say So: Why You Keep Showing Up in Marriage

Persevering in marriage—especially unseen—is a quiet, beautiful act of faith and obedience, done simply because Jesus says so.

“And Simon answered, ‘Master, we toiled all night and took nothing!
But at your word I will let down the nets.’”
Luke 5:5 (ESV)

Weddings today have become a grandstand of sorts. Reality shows display over-the-top nuptial ceremonies unfolding on our television screens.

Hanging in there in marriage doesn’t draw as big a crowd. Usually, you will find yourself alone—just you and the Lord. He may be the only one to witness your marital tenacity.

Recently I took a train to Chicago. That morning, the train pulled out of the depot, slowly meandering through the countryside. Before it got up to full speed, we came to a wide space of fields where mostly brown and beige weeds and overgrown briars grew as far as the eye could see. However, up ahead in the distance, something caught my eye: a sudden splash of brilliant lavender that stood in stark contrast to the bland foliage.

Even Though No One Sees

As the train traveled on, this patch of purple became more visible. Finally, I saw clearly the biggest, most gorgeous lilac bush I’ve ever spied in my life, the blooms so enormous I thought they might topple the bush right over! I thought what a shame it was that this magnificent floral spectacle was situated way out in the boondocks where few could see it.

But you know what? The remote location of that breathtaking bush does not detract from its splendor. It matters not that it draws little onlookers. It is still a stunning display of growth and life. Not having an audience does not make it any less lovely.

Your marriage is that bush.

As you grow and blossom—showing up and displaying the gospel to your spouse—most likely you won’t gather a large audience.

Grow and blossom anyway.

But at His Word

The gospel of Luke records an account of Jesus, Peter, and Peter’s fellow fishermen—James and John.

On one occasion, while the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he was standing by the lake of Gennesaret, and he saw two boats by the lake, but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, he asked him to put out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people from the boat. And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.” Luke 5:1–5 (ESV)

What was the key to this miraculous snagging of fish?

 “But at your word…”

The men had been doing things their usual way—to no avail. But when Jesus showed up, it changed everything.  Because Jesus said so, Peter and his friends abandoned their normal, left everything behind and followed Jesus, learning to fish for men. This meant spreading the gospel—both with words and by actions.

There is no better place to display the gospel than smack-dab in the center of your marriage.

Let’s stop doing things the same old—dare I say normal?—way. Let’s keep showing up and displaying the gospel to our husbands.  

Listen to Jesus and then cast your net. Why?

Just because he says so.

In His Word

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 (ESV)

In Your Life

How might your perspective shift if you viewed displaying love, showing grace, and granting forgiveness as something you pursue because Jesus asks you to, rather than because your spouse deserves it?

We Recommend

If you could use some practical and biblical encouragement to display the gospel in your marriage, check out Karen Ehman’s book, Keep Showing Up: How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy.

Let’s Connect

Infuse some fun in your relationship. Get to know your spouse all over again, asking them to share their thoughts on anything from their favorite childhood toy to one thing they have always wanted to try, but were afraid to.

To make it easy, Karen Ehman created a list of twelve “Getting to Know You Again Date Night Questions.” Take them to a restaurant, or cozy up at home, and work your way through them.

You can grab the free PDF here: https://bit.ly/3DFDvgL