How to Create a Christ-Honoring Home Marked by Integrity

When we have the simplicity of focus that integrity brings – meeting with God– there is no room for duplicity.

The week was crazy. But in the best way. 

We’d hosted a dear friend—more like a family member, really—from England, had volleyball practice, and then all the things with family. After our tearful goodbye at the Charlotte airport, my husband and I decided to save some time and gas by stopping at Costco on our way home. 

With our three daughters in tow, we zoomed into a parking space, made two lists, and divided and conquered. Brielle and I went for the fruit, while my husband, Tim, hustled with Lyric and Zion to grab the bread, dog food, and various odds and ends.  

We had the best time. Fun, tons of energy, and laughter—it all made for a sweet moment together.

So why was it that as soon as we returned home and I entered my own house, I became a different person?

No sooner had we walked through the door, our arms full of groceries, that my husband made a comment to me, not thinking too much about it. But I reacted as though offended. 

Can you relate? 

Away from the public atmosphere of Costco, I responded in a way that seemed to contradict the person I was just moments earlier. The woman I was inside my home was not the woman I was a few minutes ago in public. 

Wholehearted Living Within Our Homes

This dichotomy of persons reminded me of a verse I read in Psalms a few weeks before:

“I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house.” (Psalm 101:2, ESV)

This Psalm is known as the “householder’s psalm” and it’s not hard to guess why. King David longed to conduct the affairs of his house with a blameless heart. But wouldn’t everyone? 

Not exactly. 

In ancient times, behind closed doors, the recesses of Eastern palaces were often filled with self-indulgence, evil, and lust. So, there was a veneer of good governance, but on the inside, there was debauchery. 

But David desired to manage his house differently. He wanted a house marked by integrity. His home would not be divided in the way it was perceived in public and in private. When the doors were closed, he desired his house to be a place of wholeness.

If you look up the word integrity it’s defined as moral uprightness. But the second definition is the one I want to reflect on. It describes integrity as wholeness—not being divided. You know, the adage of being the same person in private that you are in public. 

But somehow within the four walls of our homes, things can break down. 

It’s easy to do, right? 

We let things slide when no one is watching. We say things we regret. We respond unreasonably and fail to apologize. We would be embarrassed if others knew how we sometimes react.

This Psalm is a cry for God’s help within our homes. It’s a prayer for the strength to be whole, no matter where we are—at Costco or the mudroom in our house. 

Integrity Begins When We Meet with God

Integrity begins with a longing for God to come to meet with us

Can you hear David cry out, “When will you come?!” 

He understood his need for a divine encounter, a visitation from God that would enable him to put into practice what he knew was right. He knew that only God’s presence would enable him to live out a life of integrity. 

God would have to dwell in his house if David wanted to walk with an undivided heart. Once God met with David, then he would be able to react rightly within his home.

When we have the simplicity of focus that integrity brings – meeting with God– there is no room for duplicity. Even in the smallest things, our walk is blameless. 

Our time in His presence shows us that virtue, honesty, and beauty can and should flow from wholehearted living within the home and without.  

The standard we set is that the principle of integrity guides all we do. And when it does, those closest to us will feel its effect. 

In His Word

“I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh, when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house;” Psalm 101:2 ESV

In Your Life

How can you implement this “householder’s psalm” into your own home?

If integrity begins when we meet with God, are your daily actions inviting God’s presence into your family’s life?

We Recommend

For more on creating homes marked by integrity, we recommend The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot. 

Let’s Connect

For inspiration on pursuing the Way of beauty and adventure in life and home, follow Chris on Instagram. She also writes several devotionals weekly through her Mend membership newsletter on Substack.