Don’t Let Your Heart Grow Cold: Finding Healing Through God’s Word

When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans. The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up. 

Psalm 32:3–4 MSG 

Don’t Grow Cold 

I was in a counseling session with my long-­trusted therapist. Some might call it an emergency therapy session. I’d emailed her a desperate message after something incredibly surprising, traumatic, and sad had happened in my immediate family. She made space in her schedule, I showed up, disheveled, with a tearstained face, and we got to work. 

But as we talked, she kept asking about my temperature, and I found it a little odd. 

At the end of the session, she explained why: Often, when people are dissociating or when they’re experiencing trauma or shock, their bodies feel cold. You might even feel physically cold if you’re emotionally freezing, living in fight-­or-­flight. She didn’t want to end the session until I felt warm. 

God Empowers Us 

This is one of those little facts that makes me marvel at God. He allows our bodies to live and breathe through the most horrific things. He empowers us to keep going when it seems incredibly reasonable to just give up. 

And this temptation to turn off our feelings—­to shut down, freeze, push through without passion, stuff down our emotions, and act like everything is fine and nothing is difficult—­we come by it honestly. We bless composure and favor the detached, mistaking a frozen soul for strength instead of seeing it as a coping mechanism that deserves compassion. 

And this is why I’m so thankful for the Psalms. For all his faults, David—­the guy God referred to as a man after His own heart—­was incredible at “staying warm.” He didn’t pretend that he didn’t need God. He didn’t see emotions, loss, or longing as a threat to his intimacy with the Father but rather as a conduit to connecting with his one true King. 

Stop Living Cold 

And I love Psalm 32 in particular, where David paints a picture of what happens when we live “cold” for too long: 

When I refused to confess my sin, 

my body wasted away, 

and I groaned all day long. 

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. 

My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. 

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you 

and stopped trying to hide my guilt. 

I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.” 

And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.  

(Ps. 32:3–5 NLT) 

One of David’s most well-­known weaknesses (read: sins) was demonstrated when he abused his power and took Bathsheba, the wife of his soldier Uriah, for himself and sent Uriah to the front lines of war to die. After he confessed his sins, he wrote Psalm 32.  

For most of us, the pain we are currently in probably isn’t because we have sinned to the same degree or manner as David. We are most likely experiencing heartbreak, burnout, and brokenness due to a smattering of things happening around us, or even to us. Even still, I believe we can find wild encouragement in David’s words, and even some warning against what happens if we dissociate from our emotions, our needs, or even our thoughts for too long. 

Choose to Stay Warm 

The way we heal, the path to waking up and navigating into a new story—­the one God has written for us—­is making sure we’re warm. And the way we get warm is by talking to God about how we got here and how it feels now that we find ourselves in this space. Simply put, we can’t ask, “What’s next?” until we ask, “What is happening now, and how do I feel about it?” 

It may take courage, it will take trusting God, but I believe that a month from now, a year from now, even a decade from now, we will be grateful that we chose to stay warm instead of letting our hearts grow cold. 

In His Word  

Read Psalm 32. How have you grown cold? Whether that be in doubt, or sin, or guilt, there is a way for you to get warm in your faith again. 

In Your Life 

Do you feel warm or cold right now? What are the thoughts, fears, and problems that you’d rather not address right now? Can you share them with God, or at least name them to return to at another time? Pray and share with God your fears, worries, and problems that you don’t want to address right now. 

We Recommend

We recommend the book What Comes Next by Jess Connolly. You’ll love how she helps you process the pain of the past so you can press onward in wholeness. 

Let’s Connect

Jess Connolly is the author of multiple books, including Tired of Being Tired and What Comes Next. She and her husband, Nick, planted Bright City Church in Charleston, South Carolina, where they’re raising their four kids and learning to live their faith in the everyday. Jess leads Go + Tell Gals and hosts The Jess Connolly Podcast, offering honest encouragement and practical tools for women who want to grow in courage, Scripture, and spiritual health. Her greatest hope is to leave her generation more in awe of God than she found it. Connect with her at JessConnolly.com or on Instagram @JessAConnolly.