When Waiting Stinks and Patience Dissolves

What comes to your mind when you hear the word patience, or be patient?

Perhaps a groan or a response, “that’s easy for you to say but I…”

Patience is not a pleasing thought, but a longed-for character trait. We have so little of it. The lack of it shows up early. Our toddler stomps his foot, “but Mommy I want it right now.”  At a young age our kids must begin to learn you can’t always have what you want when you want it. A tough lesson for them but even harder for worn out parents.

It’s not just our kids it’s us too. We get tired of waiting- for that child to learn, for that prodigal to return, for that relationship to be fixed, for a job to come along, for the marriage we desire, for a healing that is needed, or for God to change us. Waiting is a part of life and sometimes it stinks. Our patience grows thin as we wait.

We live in a culture of “hurry, move on, “one and done,” next steps. Unrealistic expectations do not always encourage patience and mostly bring stress, anxiety and social pressure for us and for our kids.  How can we handle these pressures in a healthy way? 

We desperately need to hear good news from our loving Heavenly Father in 3 ways:

1. HIS Perspective

Sometimes I imagine how impatient Jesus must have felt as a man while having to wait 30 years to begin His public ministry. Or how hard it must have been for him to have patience with those doubting and denying disciples. The writer to the Hebrews tells us that we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4: 14-16)

He knows how hard it is to find patience. He too had to wait. Also, He gets me and you. It helps to remember that He is not condemning me for my lack of patience. (Romans 8:1) He is at work in the midst of my waiting. He has infinite “other things” going on which I do not understand now, but one day, with perspective, I will see what He has been about and how my waiting fit into His bigger plan.

2. HIS Purpose

We had 5 children in 7 years. When our twins were 6 weeks old, we moved to Northern Virginia. I had no friends, no family and no help. With colicky babies there was little sleep. I felt like a failure as a mom, as a wife, and as a ministry partner. For 2 years I asked God to make me better in these areas. I saw no results. Then I found Jeremiah 33:3 and I changed my prayer.

“Call unto me and I will show you great and mighty things that you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3) Father I’m weary of praying for me to be better. For more patience with myself and my family. I ask you to show me something new. He began a new work in my life. And I discovered a new principle which I call “the principle of the other.”  When I’m struggling with one thing it’s easy to get so focused on it that I forget that He is at work in other ways which I need to ask Him to reveal to me. My recognition of His purposes in my life is very limited. I have to enlarge my vision of Him, to become open to new ways of His working in my life.

3. HIS Passion

Simply put, His passion is you and me. He is our shepherd. As Isaiah reminds us, “He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” (Isaiah 40:11). I doubt that many of us are very gentle with ourselves. BUT HE is. At this very moment He is pouring out His patience over you and me.

He is working while we are waiting, and He does what is best not necessarily what is fast.

In His Word

One verse that has been particularly meaningful to me in the last year is Psalm 147:5, “Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” (NIV)

Have you ever felt, no one understands how I feel, how hard this (whatever the this is) is. I don’t even understand myself.  But God does and His understanding has no limit. His patience never runs out.

In Your Life

Is there a particular area in your life in which you are struggling? How could meditating on God’s patience and the fact that He is at work in your life bring you comfort? Ask Him to give you new insights as you wait.

We Recommend   

In Susan’s book, Risky Faith, Chapter Seven, “Perspective – The Importance of Seeing Beyond Your Own,” expands on this topic by showing how patience grows when we trust God’s timing and look beyond our immediate struggles. It reminds us that even in seasons of waiting, God is at work in ways we cannot yet see, shaping our faith, character, and understanding of His purposes.

Let’s Connect

You can connect with Susan and sign up for her blog at Susanalexanderyates.com. She writes on topics of faith, marriage and parenting.  She is the author of 16 books and speaks throughout the country. You can also find her on Instagram.