When You Want to Quit Being a Wife
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV
The most treasured piece of decor in our home is a distressed wooden sign that hangs in our bedroom. I glance at it each morning when I turn on the light. And it’s the last item that catches my eye before bed.
This sign has saved me headaches. And heartache. It has adjusted my attitude and has enabled my just-about-to-unload lips to stay tightly closed. It reads:
June 21, 1986
221 Guests
When my college sweetheart-turned husband and I recited our wedding vows, we didn’t do so alone but in front of 221 family members and friends. And — most importantly — they were also pronounced in the presence of God.
Decide to Keep Showing Up
Today, whenever the actions—or inactions—of my husband threaten to infuriate me, especially because we do things so differently, thoughts like, “How did I ever think it was a good idea to marry this man?” ricochet in my brain, threatening to knock the nice right out of me. It is then that I stop.
I reread the sign; recall the day. And then I decide — even though I am totally ticked off — that I will keep my word that I gave in front of the guests and the Lord. Who knew a piece of wood could possess such spiritual sway?
That sign isn’t the only reason I keep showing up and showing love. I do it also because this is how God treats me.
Lamentations 3:22-23 is God’s ultimate love for us playing on loop: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
The Lord keeps showing up — forgiving once again, loving despite our bad behavior, granting mercies anew and displaying unswerving faithfulness — every single morning.
What Steadfast Love Looks Like
The noun love is hitched to the adjective steadfast. However, when this concept of steadfast love was scripted for the very first time in the Hebrew language, it was just one word: checed. It depicts absolute kindness, with overtones of loyalty and faithfulness.
If we go to God, asking Him to supply us with unrelenting love—laced with loads of mercy—to show to our very human and imperfect spouse, He will be faithful to supply it.
Will you keep showing up, displaying a new-every-morning, mercy-filled love, even when you don’t think it’s deserved? Decide to hit the reset button on your relationship with your spouse today, showing them steadfast love just like God did for you this morning — and other every morning of your life.
Lord, each day You grant me new mercies and a fresh start. Help me to do the same with my spouse. Infuse me with Your steadfast love so I can display such love in my marriage. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
In His Word
John 15:12, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (NKJV)
Pretty simple instructions, right? Simple, yes. But easy, no way! And completely impossible if we attempt to do this in our own strength. Since our spouse is one of the “one anothers” Jesus spoke of loving, this command to love like Jesus does applies to marriage. Yes, even when we may think our spouse’s behavior is about to get an our very last word, we can—with the Holy Spirit’s help—choose kindness.
In Your Life
How does knowing that God grants you new mercies each day encourage you to keep showing up in your marriage, granting forgiveness and hitting the restart button in your relationship? What is one practical thing you can do to remind you of this, such as making Lamentations 3:22–23 the lock screen message on your phone?
We Recommend
Keep Showing Up: How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy includes Biblical encouragement and practical ideas for discovering how your “incompatibility” can become the strength of your marital team. It is a real-life guide to both living with and loving your spouse–differences and all.
Let’s Connect
Get to know your spouse all over again, hearing their thoughts on anything from their favorite toy growing up to what one thing they have always wanted to try, but were afraid to. Download the free Getting to Know You Again Date Night Questions.