A Dozen Ways to Look After Your Daughter’s Heart

Raising a daughter who will be secure and able to navigate life well requires a bit of intentional heart-care.

I nearly panicked when our first daughter was born.

That sweet baby girl.

Not sure exactly why, but I keenly and immediately felt my inadequacy as a mother. It’s true we had a son, but I guess I figured that if things ever went wrong, I could always hand him over to his dad.

But a girl…..?

I knew a girl needs her mother.

I knew a mom has to care for her heart – oh, how well I knew! I knew she would turn to me to learn how to be a woman and to navigate the complexities of life.

What I didn’t know was just how to go about it.

How does a mom look after her daughter’s heart?

1.  Walk together.  The girls and I have some of our best talks when we’re out walking together. Maybe it’s the fresh air or the steady movement of our legs, but there’s something about it that opens hearts and minds to good conversation.

2.  Take tea together. Although we have a very busy household, we sit down and enjoy a cup of tea for 15 to 30 minutes almost every day. It’s a daily connecting point and a nice opportunity to bring up questions, grievances, or just fun news.

3.  Bring home little gifts. This is the “love language” of one of our daughters in particular. It’s only something small, but it says to her that I’m thinking of her. And all my girls appreciate the sharing of a bit of chocolate.

4.  Set aside a special time for her. The girls love it when we make special plans together. So sometimes I’ll grab one and take her out to a cafe. Or we’ll all dress up and attend a fancy event for an evening.

5.  Work together. For me, it’s less about “getting the job done” and more about the camaraderie of working together. Talking and laughing while we fold clothes or prepare a meal.

6.  Seek her out. Please don’t wait for her to come to you. My girls mentioned recently how much they appreciate being checked on to see how they’re doing.

7.  Take the time to listen. Lots of time. A girl’s heart cannot be rushed or squeezed in between a zillion other priorities. So she needs her mom to be available to simply listen to her thoughts and concerns. Her fears and her insecurities. Her hopes and her dreams.

8.  Pray for insight. It isn’t always clear how to reach through to your daughter. Be prepared to earnestly pray over her, asking the Lord to show you what she needs from her mom.

9.  Guide her with wise instruction. A daughter relies on her mom’s wisdom and solid counsel, helping her sort through the choices, relationships, struggles, and challenges that a young woman faces.

10. Enjoy her for who she is. She is uniquely made by God. So delight in her personality, her gifts, and, yes, even her more annoying traits. She needs to feel her mother’s loving acceptance.

11. Be patient with the process. She’s not going to get it all right, all the time. And that’s okay. I’ll remind myself, “How it is today, isn’t necessarily how it’s always going to be.” So give her room to grow.

12. Offer encouragement. Tell her specific things that you admire and appreciate about her. Communicate that you are confident in her future and that God has good plans in store for her life.

So, as you see, it takes a significant amount of time and effort to connect with a girl’s heart. It’s not simple, and it’s certainly not a science. No wonder I panicked.

But your daughter – that sweet baby girl – sure is worth it, isn’t she?

Yeah, I think so too.

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

100 Ways to Love Your Son/

100 Ways to Love Your Daughter

The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship

You love your son and daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with their hearts and stick with them no matter what life throws their way.

These practical books by the authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife and 100 Ways to Love Your Husband give you 100 specific, actionable ideas you can implement to show love to your children, no matter what age they are. The best part? The short, bite-sized readings make it easy to start right now!

Whether you felt a lack of love growing up and long to do things differently with your own kids, or you feel like you’re constantly competing with the culture for your child’s attention, these books will help you show your children that you care, helping you forge a bond of love that lasts a lifetime.

100 Ways to Love Your Son is available—>HERE

100 Ways to Love Your Daughter is available—>HERE

100 Words of Affirmation Your Son/Daughter Needs to Hear

Matt and Lisa Jacobson want you to discover the powerful ways you can build your children up in love with the beautiful words you choose to say every day–words that every son and daughter needs to hear.

These affirmation books offer you one hundred phrases to say to your son or daughter – along with short, personal stories and examples – that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire.

So start speaking a kind and beautiful word into their lives daily and watch your children–and your relationship with them–transform before your eyes.

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