When All You Have is God

In those seasons when we feel alienated and alone, God has not left and He is more than enough.

I stared at the words of the text for what seemed like an eternity. My brain refusing to make sense of what my eyes saw.

It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t.

But the lump in my throat and the tears stinging my eyes told a different story. It was true. And it broke my heart.

“I think it’s best our families part ways. Good luck with the future.”

Those were the last words I heard from someone I consider my best friend and family of 5 years.  That relationship was over. I wouldn’t see nor speak to her again.

It’s been 6 years since that text.

I still don’t have answers to why she felt lead to end the relationship. It hurt me for so long. My entire support system was tied to this person and all of that was lost as well.

Community is something that I struggle with often. Sometimes I just want to be left alone because people take so much time and energy. At times I was rejected and hurt by the community.

That lost relationship had been a big step of faith for me. I was leary of women and friendships. But I jumped in and did my best. Or so I thought.

A few months after receiving that text, my whole life would fall apart because of an abusive marriage.

I walked through the hardest season of my life alone.

The Gift of Rejection

The bible stories that resonate the most with me are the ones where someone is dealing with rejection.

Hagar, the Samaritan Woman, the woman with the issue of blood, Joseph, and Jesus.

Their pain and frustrations are the songs of my soul. And they’ve helped me to see rejection as a gift.

No, I’m not crazy or strange. Hear me out.

The seasons of rejection I’ve walked through have been so hard. There were times I wasn’t sure I would survive. There were months I felt worthless and unwanted.

But, those were also times when I found a deeper intimacy with God.

In my hurt, I demanded answers from God. I didn’t get the answers I wanted but I did spend a lot of time in prayer.

At first, I did all the talking, well yelling actually. I poured my heart and soul out to God. That allowed me to actually start to heal.

Then I dug deep into scripture looking for the answers that didn’t come during prayer.  I still didn’t find what I was looking for … I found something better.

God Wants You to Know You Aren’t Alone

In the pages of scripture, God revealed Himself to me in ways that I’d never experienced before. The more I learned about His character the more I wanted to know.

As I grew in knowledge of who God is I began to see how that spoke to my life, especially my pain. And I was able to listen in prayer more than I talked.

In hearing God’s truth, I no longer felt alone.

When you find yourself with no one to lean on you are in a perfect position to connect with God. Because He is all you have, He becomes all you need.

If you are walking through the storm of rejection I admonish you to do these things:

  1. Tell God about it- yell, scream and cry if you must. But get it all out.
  2. Search the scriptures for the truth of God’s character – allow that truth to heal your heart
  3. Listen in prayer for what God wants you to know about who He created you to be – cling to this when those bad days come

In the moments when you feel unseen, unloved and forgotten remember that you are always on the mind and heart of the One that really matters.

Blessings,

Latoya Edwards

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