How to Pray for the Ones Who Matter Most

Philippians 1:1–11 

What to Pray When You Don’t Know What to Say 

From a young age, most of us were taught the basics of kindness. Say please and thank you. Be considerate. And always, always write a thank-you note. 

Paul, writing from a prison cell, did exactly that. 

His letter to the church in Philippi is unlike his others. Most of Paul’s letters were correctional, written to address false teaching, division, or moral failure. But the Philippian church was mostly healthy. So this letter wasn’t an admonishment. It was affection. Gratitude. Love poured out in ink from a man in chains. 

And before Paul says anything else, he prays. 

The Church That Had His Heart 

To understand why Paul writes with such unusual warmth, you have to go back to where it all began. The Philippian church wasn’t born in a synagogue or a public square. It was born at a riverside prayer gathering of women. One of them heard the gospel, believed, was baptized with her entire household, and immediately invited Paul and his companions to stay. From that moment, Philippi had Paul’s heart. 

A decade later, he’s in prison. And still, he’s thinking about them.

 

A Prayer Worth Studying 

What makes this passage remarkable isn’t just that Paul prays for his friends. It’s that he tells them exactly what he is praying. He doesn’t offer a vague “thinking of you.” He opens his hand and shows them the specific things he is asking God to do in their lives. 

Paul prays that their love would grow, not just in quantity but in quality. An uncommon love, marked by spiritual knowledge and sharp moral discernment. He prays they would examine and approve only what is truly excellent. That when they are held up to God’s light and unfolded before Him, they would be found pure, untroubled by sin, and fully complete in the righteousness that only comes through Jesus. 

It’s the kind of detailed, intricate heart work that only God can do, and Paul was asking Him to do it. 

Praying for Others Changes You Too 

There’s something worth sitting with here. Paul was mucking his way through deplorable prison conditions, and still his thoughts were fixed on the spiritual growth of the people he loved. He wasn’t consumed by the unfairness of his circumstances. He was consumed by love for his people. 

Prayer changes things. It changes the people we pray for. It changes us as we pray. And telling someone specifically what you are praying over them takes it a step further, it gives proof of your promise, instills faith, provides them with words to pray for themselves, and lifts the weight they are carrying. 

There’s also this: we can’t be praying those specific, heart-tuning things for other people when we aren’t first reaching after those same things ourselves. Praying for a friend’s spiritual discernment sends you back to your own. Praying for someone’s love to grow uncommon quietly grows yours. 

So in your muckiest season, the best thing you can do is pray for yours. It shifts your focus. It carries their weight. And somehow, in the giving, you find yourself carried too. 

In His Word 

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.” — Philippians 1:9–10 ESV  

In Your Life 

Is there someone in your life you have been meaning to pray for but haven’t been specific about it? What would change in your own heart if you committed to praying Paul’s prayer over them, not just once, but consistently? And in your current season, what is the “muck” that praying for others might help lift your eyes above? 

We Recommend 

If you enjoyed this post, check out the book Worthy by Jane Johnson to go deeper into Scripture and discover how to study God’s Word with confidence, clarity, and a hunger that keeps growing. 

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Jane Johnson is an author, wife, and mother who loves the Word of God and is passionate about teaching women of all ages how to study Scripture so they can teach the next generation. She’s the author of Worthy and Mercy Like Morning and lives in Oregon with her husband and three children. Learn more at JaneJohnson.com.