The Courage to Be Honest about Your Emotions

Do you ever try to keep difficult emotions hidden—even from yourself? 

Our emotions are a gift from God, and it is good for us to feel them. Just saying out loud how we’re feeling can be very freeing. When I was acting joyful, I was allowing myself to experience only one emotion, which had me seeing the world in black and white. But when I allowed in other emotions such as sadness, anger, and disappointment, I was able to view the world in color.

Express Your Feelings

For the first twenty years of my Christian walk, I pushed down difficult emotions, believing they were incompatible with faith. However, the Bible paints a different picture. King David, considered a man after God’s own heart, openly expressed a vast range of feelings before the Lord—two-thirds of his psalms are filled with lamentations and complaining! The prophet Jeremiah penned an entire book dedicated to his profound grief over Jerusalem’s destruction. Even Jesus didn’t shy away from expressing anger and sadness.

Neuroscientists have found that if we grow up in families where emotions are not openly expressed, it can hinder the development of certain parts of our brain. This, in turn, affects our ability to love and work effectively. However, the good news is that this damage is not permanent. Research has also revealed that our brains can rewire themselves when we learn to acknowledge and label our emotions.

You can begin to name your feelings by writing in a journal as part of your time with God. You might prayerfully consider and respond to questions such as the following:

• What am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling sad/lonely/angry/worried? 
• Where in my body am I holding stress? Do I feel the tension in my shoulder, back, gut, and so on? 
• Are there any lies I am believing about myself or others? Pray and ask God what the truth is. 
• Is what I’m feeling helping me or hurting me? What is God calling me to do with the emotions I’m feeling?

When you are honest with God about your anger or sadness, you will meet a God who is delighted to give you freedom. Ignored or misnamed emotions always find a way to come out, and usually those ways aren’t healthy or helpful. If pain is not transformed, it is transmitted. Many addictions arise from a place of unhealed trauma, a lack of safe places to simply “be,” and denied emotions.

Fear Held Me Back

When I was 10 years old, I was in Thailand with my family when the 2004 Southest Asian tsunami hit. We all survived, but over 230,000 people were killed. After experiencing this traumatic event, fear kept me from sharing my true feelings. It took me years to reframe the experience and share my story without being afraid.

Although it would take me a long time to embrace my full range of emotions about the disaster I survived, there was mercy in my immediate, newfound appreciation for life. My experience developed in me a deep gratitude for the little things. When we have close encounters with death, we realize how much we truly want to live.

When we got back home after the tsunami, time seemed to move so slowly. But a flower on the ground or a little baby laughing would remind me of just how happy I was to be alive. Each new day was a blank canvas of possibility and life—and I felt determined to scribble all over it. I wrote in my journal most nights, listing all that I was grateful for: the stars, chocolate, my favorite English teacher who nicknamed me “Smiles,” and my best friend, Sam.

Even though it wasn’t healthy to always focus on only the positive side of what my family went through, God still met me in my suffering and taught me many valuable lessons. I learned that suffering is an invitation into deeper intimacy with the Lord because when we suffer, we discover that God is the only One we can fully rely on. No human is as reliable as God. I also learned the comforting truth that as a follower of Christ, our suffering is limited to this life only (see Rev. 21:4). 

And I learned that in suffering, we will have the opportunity to test, try, and prove our courage. Courage is needed on this side of heaven—but one day we will be home with God with nothing to fear!

Reflection:

• Are there any emotions you’ve been pushing down for any reason – fear, overwhelm, or burnout? Take a moment to name them and try to understand where they are coming from.
• Meet God in prayer today to talk to Him honestly about your emotions, especially the ones you’ve been avoiding. 

If you liked this post, check out the book Three Seconds of Courage: How Small Acts of Bravery Lead to Big Change by Riley Kehoe. Sharing her remarkable personal story, Riley shows you how small acts of bravery can change your life in ways you can’t imagine. 

Riley Kehoe is a speaker, writer, and influencer. Born in London and raised in New Zealand, Riley has a master’s degree in global leadership from Fuller Theological Seminary. A sought-after speaker, active blogger, and up-and-coming influencer, Riley has been featured on a TEDx Talk, interviewed by William Shatner for The History Channel, and published in several Christian outlets. She and her husband live in Franklin, Tennessee.