Our culture is degrading. How can we raise a godly son in spite of it?
Occasionally I freaked out –when I thought of the availability of porn and read about Ashley Madison and looked at the sexual safety posters hanging in my daughter’s dorm.
I was supposed to run my son through this cultural gauntlet and have him turn out to be a fine and upstanding man?
Made my knees shake in fear on more than one occasion.
A Book of Wisdom
Did you know there is a book in the Bible written just for young men, to help them make good choices? It’s the book of Proverbs. When you read it you’ll see that a sexually dangerous culture isn’t a new thing for guys, and Proverbs is full of simple wisdom that gives warnings and practical what-to-do advice for different situations, not just for sexual temptation but for all kinds of immoral pulls. (By the way, this is just as good for girls as for guys!)
Proverbs are powerful tools for moms, because they are short little sayings that are easy to remember in the moment. Proverbs used to be used by parents all the time. (Read the Little House on the Prairie series and note how often the parents corrected their kids using proverbs.)
As moms, we should bring back proverbs as a way of speaking truth to our kids.
Helping Your Teen Study Proverbs
Proverbs has 31 chapters in it, so your teen can read one chapter for every day of the month.
Or you can reward your son for memorizing a proverb and saying it to you every week.
Or you can have your son make a three-columned chart that he can fill in as he reads a verse or two every day. He can label the first column “pressure,” where he can list what negative cultural pressure is presented in the verse. He can label the second column “foolish response” and the third column “wise response” and fill those in using the truths in the verse.
You can do this study along with him, mom. It will make you more aware of the destructive pressures your son might face during the day. Turn the study into specific prayers for him –that God will help your son act wisely if he faces that situation during the day. Let your son know you’re praying for his protection from evil and that he’ll make good choices. And don’t forget to praise him when you see him doing the wise thing!
Or something fun you might do is to get a marker made for writing on glass and write a new proverb in the corner of your son’s bathroom mirror every week. (Do you have any idea what an extraordinary amount of time guys spend making faces and poses in front of the bathroom mirror?)
Now let me tell you good news: It is possible to raise a guy who is wise in a world that is foolish.
It is possible, moms! I have done it, and I have a bucket load of friends who have done it, too. It’s hard work, and it requires vigilant parenting and serious begging prayers to God, but boys can grow up to be good men.
Don’t lose hope, and don’t be defeated by fear.
Be a teacher.
*In the comments below, why don’t you tell me a proverb you grew up hearing that has helped you make good choices. It doesn’t have to be a Bible verse. One of my personal favorites: “Slow and steady wins the race.”
Christy Fitzwater is a writer and pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She has a daughter who is married and a son in college. Christy writes to help people know God, and you can find her new book about becoming blameless on Amazon. Or follow her devotional blog at ChristyFitzwater. You can follow Christy on Instagram here!