When You Can’t Make Things All Better for Your Kids

When you’re a mom, you’re used to fixing things.

You bandage the wounds, stop the fights, and find the missing shoes.

But sometimes it’s not that simple.

Sometimes, despite your great love for your child, you can’t make it all better.

How do you heal heart wounds?

How do you respond when you don’t know the answer to your child’s “why?”

And what do you do with sadness that can’t be swept away by ice cream?

You seek God.

And you teach your kids to do the same.

It’s the simplest thing, but the simple things are sometimes the most easily forgotten.

After all, you and I both know how quickly we turn to our phones, our friends, shopping, and food to medicate our own wounds. Even though turning to Jesus would be simple.

But He reminds us, doesn’t He? Sometimes He lets the pain go a little deeper, to allow us to feel our need for Him. And when we remember Him, we find His sweet presence, His embrace, His Word, and His love to be better than ever.

In those moments, we also remember how He pulled us through so many things… how we’ve grown the most through pain… how His grace is sufficient when the thorns in our flesh aren’t removed.

Our kids need to know this too. That’s why our Heavenly Father allows them to feel the sting of life in this broken world as well.

When a treasured pet dies, when the event they’d anticipated all year falls through, when the injustices of life burn into their hearts… they need Jesus.

How can we help them find Him?

1) Don’t overmedicate.

Pain serves a purpose. Yes, we need to love and comfort our kids when they hurt, but let’s resist the temptation to instantly numb them. God wants to be their comfort, and if we run instantly to entertainment, food, and distraction, they’ll miss out on the peace He offers.

 2) Share His Word.

It’s easy to assure our kids that God is going to help them, but our kids are smart enough to realize that parents aren’t infallible. Use the very words of God to comfort them, so they have something rock solid to hold on to. Help them memorize key verses that will meet their soul needs.

 3) Listen and love.

Sometimes our kids just need a good listener. Yes, they may wish someone could make it all better, but unloading their grief on a patient, sympathetic listener is the next best thing. Love your kids by listening to their hurt.

4) Teach them to speak truth to their souls.

Let your kids know that while it’s healthy to put their pain into words to you, it’s equally important to speak words of truth back to their own souls. Just as David did in the Psalms, we need to supplement honesty about our feelings with words of faith and hope in God. We must tell our souls the truth: that God is good, He loves us, and is working all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Watching our kids hurt is painful. Probably worse than our own personal pain. But God’s faithfulness and comfort is every bit as available to them as it is to us.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

May God give you grace as you comfort your child.

And may He show Himself to your child in tender and powerful ways through the pain.

Blessings,

Jennifer