Why Worldly Wisdom Doesn’t Work for Godly Marriages

Godly marriages are set apart for the glory of God. They have specific standards laid out in Scripture to produce fruit.

We aren’t meant to do things the way culture does. God has specifically given us ways to live, not only as a married couple but also as followers of Christ.

It’s not about a set of rules but a holy standard of living that we learn to desire as we grow in our relationship with God. These standards are often quite different from those of the world’s. Some are so different that they feel upside-down to our current culture.

Do not be deceived. Just because you are Christian, doesn’t necessarily mean you have a Godly marriage. All marriages take some work, including a Godly one. It’s never too late to make a shift!

5 Reasons Worldly Wisdom Doesn’t Work for Godly Marriages

Differing Values

His ways of living are not meant to hold us captive, but in fact, set us free! This is the part we need to grab hold of. Jesus used parables to help his disciples understand what He was trying to convey in the spiritual. As I sit here, I am finding it hard to put into words the value, the freedom, the peace, and the fulfillment that comes from obeying God’s word. We just need to trust Him and do it.

Some have used these ways as a weapon of control rather than a way to honor God and their spouse. When God’s word is twisted and used in a way it was never meant to be used, it no longer qualifies as the Word of God; it’s cloaked as such but is a weapon of the Enemy used for human’s fleshly desires.

God values covenant and commitment in marriage while the world values happiness, emotion, and convenience.

Sacrificial Love

People make His Word on marriage about themselves when in fact it is about God, your spouse, and ultimately your marriage as a whole. You are not the only person in your marriage just as husbands aren’t. We are only in control of ourselves and our own thoughts, choices, and relationship with God. If we aren’t seeking Him first, everything else will be chaos.

So when we approach our marriage, we need to focus on what God says for us as wives. Only the Holy Spirit can change a heart and I can guarantee that nagging, yelling, manipulating, threatening, or punishing him won’t help. It will only make it worse. God has given us a better way.

Focusing on ourselves in a marriage is an oxymoron because marriage isn’t about us. It’s one of the most sacrificial relationships you will ever have. Sacrifices are meant to be painful. If it doesn’t hurt a little, it’s not a sacrifice. Not hurt our spirit but hurt our flesh.

A Godly marriage looks out for the needs of the spouse while a worldly marriage often looks out for the needs of self.

Eternal Perspective

The wisdom of God is set on eternal things while the wisdom of the world is focused on the here and now and is often based on feelings only. We cannot build a marriage based on what we feel at any given moment.

Marriage is often thought of in terms of happiness alone. The world views marriage very differently than God. We need to get on board with how He sees it and what He’s asking of us. Not just wives, but husbands and wives.

When you cease being happy in your marriage, you need to evaluate why. Are you in harm’s way? Or are you unsatisfied with what you’re getting out of the marriage? Are you simply bored or comparing your marriage to what you see on the surface of other marriages and think you’re missing out? Marriage shouldn’t be as complicated and hard as it’s become. It also shouldn’t be so easily tossed aside.

Happiness is not the ultimate goal of a Godly marriage. Covenant is. God has set standards for husbands and wives to bring joy and fulfillment to a marriage. But they do not come without sacrifice, building character, and having humility.

A Godly marriage is a parallel of Christ and His Church, which holds eternal significance. A worldly marriage thinks in terms of the moment and what makes them happy now.

Forgiveness and Grace

A marriage cannot survive, let alone thrive, without forgiveness and grace permeating its essence.

We are redeemed but sin still sneaks in at times and gets the best of us. You need to be able to forgive each other and not hold grudges if you’re going to have a healthy marriage. Love keeps no records of wrongs.

Unfortunately, many people do just that and the marks stack up. Eventually, those marks become too many and the marriage ends in divorce. The problem is, when you remarry, you once again marry an imperfect person who is bound to make mistakes.

A Godly marriage heals with forgiveness and grace. A worldly marriage often holds onto pain where it grows into bitterness and resentment.

The Holy Spirit

In a Godly marriage, we don’t have to do it alone. We have the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us, if we are in fact, following the Lord’s leading and allowing Him to do a good work in our lives.

We can’t accomplish all God has called us to on our own. Our flesh sneaks in, Satan whispers lies, emotions run high. We need a Helper and God knew we would.

A Godly marriage is built upon a relationship of 3: God, Husband, and Wife. The closer we each get to God, the closer we get to each other and to how God designed marriage to be.

A Godly marriage relies on the wisdom and help of the Holy Spirit. A worldly marriage relies on the understanding of man, and the unpredictability of emotions, mixed with their own selfish desires as counsel.

The bottom line is this: God’s values and the world’s are opposite of each other. God’s values are eternal and the world’s are temporal. We can’t create a Godly marriage using worldly principles. We have to do it God’s way.

A Godly marriage can seem unfathomable if we are not living for the Lord. But everything must start with our relationship with God or nothing else works. He is the way, the Truth, and the life. Apart from Him, we can do nothing.

If you desire to have a strong, Godly marriage, start with your relationship with God first and see how He changes your heart. It’s miraculous and beautiful.

For further reading: 10 Ways Husbands and Wives Are Called to Invest in Their Marriage

A 52-Week Devotional for the Deeper, Richer Marriage You Desire

An intimate, loving marriage is so much closer than you think

Imagine if, at the end of the year, despite your busy schedules and all the demands on your time and attention, you and your husband were more in sync, more connected, and more in love than ever before. Sounds amazing, right?

That kind of marriage is what is waiting for you as you read through the fifty-two weekly devotions in Loving Your Husband Well. Each entry includes a specific theme, related Scripture, a powerful devotion, thoughts for further reflection, practical ideas, and a prayer, all designed to help you love, cherish, and serve the man who shares life’s journey with you.

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