21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

How does a mother grow close with her daughter? How do you get to know her heart? Here are 21 thoughtful questions she really needs you to ask!

She was only about 12 at the time.

No longer a little girl, but not quite a woman. Somewhere in between the two.

I could see there was so much going on in her heart and mind, and I desperately wanted her to let me in.

When she was very young, she used to chatter on about most anything that popped into her head. But I found that had slowly changed over time. She wasn’t quite so forthcoming and kept more to herself.

And it concerned me.

So I invited her for a walk one warm summer afternoon and told her that I hoped she’d always feel comfortable talking to me about her thoughts, fears, and dreams.

I waited to hear her response, but she stayed silent for the longest time as we continued walking side by side.

Finally, she said, “So ask me.”

Confused, I responded with, “Ask you what?”

And she replied, “Ask me anything.”

That’s when I realized that she had been waiting for me to ASK. That one powerful way of showing her that I cared was by asking interested, thoughtful questions.

So now I ask our daughters questions most every day. I wonder how they’re doing, what they’re thinking about, and how they’re feeling.

Because our girls need me to ask them about these things. They won’t necessarily volunteer what’s on their hearts and minds. They need me to ask, and they need me to care about their answers.

Your daughter probably needs you to ask her too. 

21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask

Maybe you don’t know what to ask your girl, or where to begin.

If so, here’s a list of questions you might ask that sweet girl of yours….

  1. What’s on your heart?
  2. What happened in your day today?
  3. Why did that make you cry?
  4. What do you dream about?
  5. What would you do if you could do anything you wanted?
  6. What kinds of things make you feel cared for?
  7. What is your favorite kind of food?
  8. What do you need from me?
  9. What makes you happy?
  10. What have you been thinking about lately?
  11. What did you like about that movie?
  12. Which kind of music makes you want to sing?
  13. What are those things that make you angry?
  14. What would you like to talk about?
  15. Where would you like to visit if you could go anywhere?
  16. What makes you afraid?
  17. What is your fondest memory?
  18. How does that (whatever the circumstance) make you feel?
  19. What makes you laugh?
  20. What sorts of things are important to you?
  21. Do you know how much I love you?

So go ahead. Ask her.

Start the conversation.

And cozy up and listen to her answers.

Grow close together. Very close.

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

Author of 100 Ways to Love Your Daughter

Download the Free Printable:
21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask Her

100 Words of Affirmation Your Son/Daughter Needs to Hear

Matt and Lisa Jacobson want you to discover the powerful ways you can build your children up in love with the beautiful words you choose to say every day–words that every son and daughter needs to hear.

These affirmation books offer you one hundred phrases to say to your son or daughter – along with short, personal stories and examples – that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire.

So start speaking a kind and beautiful word into their lives daily and watch your children–and your relationship with them–transform before your eyes.

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