Perfection has a way of sucking the life right out your mothering spirit. But moms don’t need to be perfect to make connections with their children.
Manmade perfection and holy perfection are two very different things. While one is done through the power of the cross, the other is done through the power of self. This is a very important distinction to understand as a Christian and as a mom.
No Perfection in Motherhood
One thing many moms do well is aim for perfection. But, when we fall short we beat ourselves up. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with aiming high. In fact, I highly recommend it! That is the best way for us to grow.
If we are in a place where we are being wise as mothers and continuously learning to nurture our children, we can let grace catch us when we fall.
We’re bound to mess up and make mistakes. Even when we learn from our mistakes, we’ll make new mistakes. Yet, we can remain connected with our children by owning up to those mistakes and continue to move forward. We can keep that bond tight by admitting when we’ve wronged them; when we’ve yelled at them or overcompensated a consequence.
While leading by example is important, connecting with our children, heart to heart, will make an even greater impact. We need to make the most of the connection opportunities we have with our children.
For example, when I sit and read a rich, historical fiction or literature book with my children, I’m making a connection with them through time spent learning together. We’re growing together because I also learn new inspiration and it opens up discussions that shape their character growth.
In order to understand them and help shape their hearts, I need to connect with them often. I need to be intentional about reaching out to them rather than always waiting for them to come to me.
Create Willful Connections
How can we be intentional to make those connections with our children? How can we go deep with our children and hang up our own agenda?
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
I cannot think of a time in my life when the days were eviler than they are now. We are living in very troubled times and the future is so uncertain at this point. I want to use my time wisely.
Pouring into my children is vital in order to help them grow wise and make the best choices. In addition, their spiritual walks need to be nurtured, not left to chance.
It is important to think ahead and find ways to connect with our children — in the every day and even in special ways (such as date nights or at-home-movie-nights, etc).
5 Constructive Ways to Connect With Your Children Daily
- Encouragement. Encourage your children every single day. Life is hard. Our children need daily affirmation and reassurance because as we train them, let’s face it, they receive a lot of correction. They carry responsibilities that can sometimes get heavy. Children need encouragement just like adults do.
But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Hebrews 3:13 (ESV)
2. Discipleship. We need to lead our children to Jesus every day. Through reading His Word, praying, serving, and living out His commandments. Every day we need to make it a priority to help our children grow in their faith. For the Christian family, this is a requirement, not an option. Our children will not grow spiritually if they are not fed.
3. Work. Working is a part of life and the sooner our children learn this lesson and begin to use their hands for work, the easier it will be for them to accept. We can connect with our children each day by working alongside them each day. Do not wait until your children are teenagers before you implement household responsibilities (though it’s never too late). Even a toddler can pick up toys and put them in a bin. Work together.
4. Have fun! I know sometimes we moms can be all about business and forget to have a little fun. At least, that’s something I struggle with. I become so focused on taking life seriously, that I sometimes fail to lighten the mood with a little fun and laughter. It’s OK to have fun as we go about our work and learn about God, as long as that’s not our end goal. Enjoy your children and their childish nature of having fun!
5. Meals. Choose at least one meal per day to connect through conversation with your children. Your meal may change from day to day, based on your own schedule. Making the time together for just one meal a day to connect makes such a big impact on our children. It helps us understand what is going on with them in the day to day. If there is something that needs to be discussed in private, you can set aside a time for that, too.
You don’t need to be a perfect mother, you simply need to be a connected one.
What other suggestions do you have to connect with your children on a daily basis?
Christin has been married to her high school sweetheart for 20+ years and together they have seven children. She enjoys writing, reading, weightlifting, and challenging herself to new things.
Her passion is to pursue holiness and wholeness in Christ. You can find her on Instagram at instagram.com/christinslade