Embracing Boredom: A Secret Tool for Better Parenting

Embracing boredom isn’t failure—it’s freedom. Learn how boredom builds creativity and resilience in kids and brings peace to your parenting journey.

We often structure childhood without considering the individual needs of each child. The one. The unique person who has so much to offer the world, even with a mouthful of baby teeth. 

In a more natural environment—­say, outside or in your home where there is more freedom—­five-­year-­olds have the innate capacity to structure their own time. They find things of value that seem interesting and worthwhile to them and allocate some of their own childhood to those things. There is a tremendous upside here. These skills provide benefits well beyond the schooling years. 

Boredom Is Not Failure

Somehow, the words “I’m bored” have become unbearable to parents. So I will begin with the words of Kim John Payne, Luis Fernando Llosa, and Scott Lancaster in their book Beyond Winning. They state it plainly. “When our children are bored, we have not failed them.”²

Scribble that on a Post-­it note and stick it on your bathroom mirror. 

This is not how things used to be. You can learn a lot more about the changes in society and how we ended up in this adult-­directed child-­rearing age in my book Until the Streetlights Come On. Without even going into the details of the whens and the whys, we feel this underlying pressure as parents to be the ones out in front, leading the parade with some developmental activity or another.

Mothers used to lock their kids out of the house all summer long.

Can you even imagine?

These days, such a parenting approach would be looked upon with scorn, disdain, and a side helping of deep judgment. A parent who doesn’t “parent” at all hours of the day might even be seen as neglectful. And while I can understand where this attitude comes from (and how it affects a parent’s feelings of self-­worth), research does not support adult-­directed childhoods as a superior approach.

Turns out that the lock-­your-­kids-­outside-­all-­summer mothers were onto something. They weren’t neglectful. There was, at some point, a baseline trust in the “child’s neurological system.” That’s what we’ve lost.

Boredom gives kids opportunities to “seek out the input they need on their own.” Without open spaces in the day, a child will have no chance to act upon their inner drive.

Boredom is not failure. Boredom is a springboard. It is a catalyst. Boredom is where we fall in love with painting, with music, with lying in the grass and watching the clouds float by, with life.

The Messy Middle

This reality is actually freeing because, despite your best efforts, replicating the achievements of kindergarten teachers is impossible. If you’re a homeschool parent, your job description includes being not only the teacher but also the lunch lady, recess attendant, janitor, curriculum coordinator, bus driver, specialist, counselor, researcher, and occasionally the principal.

Classroom teachers are required to get a certain number of continuing education credits to maintain their certification. You are required to continue your education in order to survive. Additionally, you are the social life coordinator. This is a hefty role because it may mean that you are inviting others into your home that is trashed because the janitor is overworked (or sick, or nursing a baby, or all of the above).

If you’re homeschooling, you are in charge of purchasing all the school supplies, and depending on where you live and what your life circumstances are, you may have sacrificed an entire income to do so. Also, where are you going to put all those first-­grade resources? How are you going to organize them? Are you going to keep everything that is needed for thirteen grades?

Try as you may, it’s not possible to schedule your life in as regimented a way as you might like. You can have beautiful rhythms to your days, weeks, months, and years, but your life will never be timed to the minute. There will be more wiggle room than you feel comfortable with, no matter what your parenting or schooling situation.

So, have you written it down yet? Have you nailed it on a post in your yard?

“When our children are bored, we have not failed them.”

Reflection

How can you incorporate more natural boredom into your child’s day so they learn to develop new skills and interests for themselves? Have you found anything that works well for you and your family?

If you enjoyed this post, check out the book Homeschooling: You’re Doing It Right Just by Doing Itby Ginny Yurich. We love how Ginny draws from her years of experience and research, as well as her master’s degree in education, to encourage and equip parents who want to give homeschooling a try or want to improve their experience.

Ginny Yurich, MEd, is the author of Until the Streetlights Come On, a homeschooling mother of five, and founder and CEO of 1000 Hours Outside, a global movement to reclaim childhood and reconnect families. Along with her husband, Josh, Ginny is the creator and curator of the 1000 Hours Outside lifestyle brand, which includes a robust online store, a top-ranked mobile app, and multiple books. She is a sought-after national speaker and also hosts the top-ranked 1000 Hours Outside podcast. An advocate for nature-based play and its benefits for children, Ginny lives with her family in the Ann Arbor area of Michigan.