How You Can Show Delight in the One Whom Your Soul Loves

It’s easy to get wrapped up in everyday life or allow our frustrations to rob us of showing delight to the one we love.

I genuinely blushed when I first read the Song of Solomon.

As a young teen girl, I could hardly believe they would let a sensuous book like that make it into the Bible. It hardly seemed appropriate, bordering on shocking. But there it was: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” (1:2) or my husband’s favorite (or at least the one he most teases me about), “Your two breasts are like two fawns” (7:3).

Honestly, Mr. Jacobson!

So yes, it wasn’t until I was older and a married woman that I began to fully appreciate the beautiful romance played out in the Song of Solomon.

Now that I’m well past a blushing age, I love how this biblical love story begins with the Shulamite woman expressing her deep pleasure and joy in her lover. She unashamedly tells him, “For your love is better than wine,” and then a little later in the first chapter, “Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful” (v. 16).  

In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, these two are terribly in love.

And everything is going very well with the two lovebirds until a little later when we get to Chapter 3. Then this same woman falls asleep and experiences a rather vivid and terrible dream—a nightmare, really. And in this dream, she looks for her lover all over the city but can’t find him anywhere. You can practically feel her fright when he’s nowhere to be found. 

In her search, the woman finally comes across the night watchmen and anxiously asks if they have seen him anywhere? The situation is beginning to feel hopeless when suddenly, she spots her man in the distance and races to meet him. Rejoicing to be reunited with her love, she declares to anyone who will listen, “I found the one I love. I held him and would not let him go” (3:4).

Sheer Delight

Maybe this is “only” a dream, but can’t you picture their warm reunion? Imagine her teary relief and the joy of their embrace? 

Sheer delight. 

This is the kind of delight that real lovers enjoy—whether they’ve been married one year or fifty.

Now maybe we haven’t been married for 50 years, but my good friends John and Susan have, and I’ll never forget the first time Susan invited me to their home for lunch. She welcomed me in the door, and only a minute later, Pastor John came in behind me and walked straight over to his beautiful wife. And there, the two of them kissed—right on the lips!

Not a mere peck, mind you, but a kiss lasting for several seconds or so. In the middle of the day. In front of this new guest. And wow. What a sweet demonstration of delight between two people married for more than five decades!

I’d never seen anything like it, but I knew then that’s what I wanted for the rest of our days too.

How do you express delight?

So how about you and your marriage? How do you express delight in your husband (and vice versa)? Do you light up when you “spot him in the distance” or when he (or you) comes home from work? Hold on to him and never want to let go? Maybe kiss him on the lips for a few seconds or so…for the next fifty years or more?

Or perhaps that’s not where things are at right now.

It’s not just you. We’re all prone to leave off with the lover’s delight once we’ve been married for a while. We get wrapped up in our frustrations and lost in the busyness of everyday life rather than getting wrapped up in his strong arms and lost in our love.

But, oh friend, don’t miss out on showing delight in the one whom your soul loves. Like a Shulamite lover, hold on and don’t ever let him go.

The {Delight} Experiment

Consider the look on your face, the tone of your voice, and the words you say to your husband. Do you communicate to him (and anyone else who happens to be around), “I found him whom my soul loves”(3:4)? If so, how do you show him your delight? And if not, what would you say is holding you back?

Maybe you could write out the many different ways you could express delight in your husband—getting as specific as possible. For example, I want to smile warmly when he walks in the door. Or, I’m going to use my “sweet” voice more often when speaking to him. Or perhaps, I’m going all out and will wrap my arms around him, whispering in his ear, “Your love is better than wine.” Have a little fun and see if you can make him blush!

The Flirtation Experiment

The Delight Experiment is only one of the experiments I did for The Flirtation Experiment. In this book, my co-author, Phylicia, and I share more about the other 30 experiments we did, how we went about it, the barriers we had to overcome, and how our husbands responded to our flirtation. We also talk about the biblical precedents for each flirtation experiment we chose to carry out.

Not to say that we’re special or that everything’s “perfect,” but we can also honestly say these flirtations have brought about significant changes, even transformation, to our marriages. God has powerfully used our Flirtation Experiment to turn everyday situations into true romance and brought us a closer heart connection.

We can’t wait to see what He has in store for you and yours!

Lisa Jacobson

*Who this book is NOT for: The Flirtation Experiment is not intended as a fix for abusive, manipulative, sinful husbands or as a tract of biblical proof texts as to why the Christian wife should persevere in a destructive relationship. We encourage you to seek professional, wise, biblical help and protection if this is your situation.