Does your husband struggle to understand you? How can you help him?
John once asked an older man if he understood his wife,
After all these years, do you understand your wife?
“Understand her—no way,” this sage man responded–“enjoy her, yes!”
His comment made my husband roar in laughter, but it also encouraged him.
In thinking about this I have found an image, which I hope, might help your husband or other men as they seek to understand our needs.
Picture for a moment a flashlight. One that takes 2 “Double A” batteries.
Over time it’s easy for these batteries to grow dim. They just get worn down. Sometimes one will go out before the other. Soon the flashlight will begin to flicker and the light will fade. It’s time to recharge, to put new batteries into your flashlight.
We women need two batteries to keep us bright. Our “Double A’s” are appreciation and affection. These qualities can be rare in our worlds.
Appreciation. A 4 year old is not likely to say to his exhausted Mom, “Wow, Mom, you are doing a good job raising me.” There’s not a lot of appreciation for laundry done, dinner fixed, clothes washed. It’s a rare husband who says, “Thanks honey for carpooling the kids all over the place today. I appreciate you.” A comment like that would do wonders to increase our battery life!
Affection is the second of our batteries that can become depleted. It’s hard for us women to get excited about sex if we haven’t experienced affection. It can make us feel cheap or used. Simply greeting us with a hug at the end of the day and saying, “I missed you today,” can help to recharge our battery. Give us a hug in front of the kids while exclaiming, “I love this woman, ” and you hit the jackpot! A phone call or text message just to say, Hope you are having a good day, can make a huge difference.
It’s a wise man who asks himself if his wife’s batteries need to be recharged. They probably do! As you men take steps to recharge them don’t be discouraged if we women don’t respond right away. Sometimes it takes repeated efforts. Just persist and we will lighten up in due time!
I hope you ladies will pass this along to your husband. It just might help him to realize that you are normal!
Susan Alexander Yates is a mom to five children (including a set of twins) and grandmother to 21 (including a set of quadruplets!). Susan and her husband John have been married 51 years. Susan has written 16 books and speaks on the subjects of marriage, parenting, faith, and women’s issues. Susan’s favorite time of the year is June when all her kids and grandkids are together for a week of “cousins and family camp” in the foothills of the Shenandoah Mountains of Virginia.