How to Rekindle Romance When Your Marriage Is in a Rough Season

Wish you could rekindle the romance in your marriage? There is hope!

She wasn’t sure how it even happened.

It’s not what either of them had ever intended.

There was a time when she felt close to him, but now . . . somehow . . . they seemed so far away from each other.

I suppose they could blame it on the kids. I mean, it’s a lot of time and work to raise children.

Maybe it was her health issues and all that she’d gone through as of late.

Or maybe it was his job. It seemed to take everything out of him, and he was away a lot of the time.

Perhaps it was all the problems with extended family or the ministry. So much to do and so many people to care for.

In any case, here they both were. Living in the same home. Standing in the same spot. But feeling a cavernous distance between them.

It’s been hard on both. So how do you rekindle romance when it’s been a rough season?

7 Ways to Rekindle the Romance

1.  Be the one to make the first move.

Don’t wait for him to start the steps forward. Reach across the span and see if you can’t bridge the distance.

2.  Be willing to open up.

Be the one who starts the discussion – just make sure it’s encouraging, building-up talk.  This isn’t the time to address all the things wrong with him, or what you’re unhappy about. Think of at least one small thing you can be thankful for and begin there.

3.   Please don’t give up.

No matter how discouraged you are with where you’re both at. Dig in for the long haul and determine to make it work.

4.   Slowly move together.

In the same way, you had slowly moved away. Lasting changes are often made incrementally and gently over time.  And before you know it, you’re looking back and seeing how far you’ve both come.

5.   Reach out for help.

Friends, we were not made to walk through this life alone. Call out to a friend, or a godly, older couple at your church that you can ask for help. Get professional counseling, if it’s necessary.  A wise, outside perspective can make all the difference in many cases.

6.   Pray for your marriage.

Ask God to renew your love for each other.  Ask Him to show you any blind spots or barriers that are between you. Pray with faith and pray for change. 

7.   Remember that you love each other.  

Because sometimes we lose sight of that, don’t we? We get caught up in the busyness and pressures of daily life, that we forget that we actually like each other. That we used to be crazy-in-love with one another.

And when that happens?

Sometimes the best thing you can do to rekindle the romance is to take a little time out and time away to remind each other of those things that drew you together in the first place.

So take a step toward him.

Make a move and see what God does for you both. 

In His grace,

Lisa Jacobson

author, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

Rediscover the Heart of Your Marriage & Rekindle the Romance

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Matt and Lisa Jacobson, authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, are the hosts of a weekly podcast to talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture. Matt and Lisa offer deep encouragement, along with practical steps and true-life stories, as we grow in walking the faithful life together.

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The Flirtation Experiment

The Flirtation Experiment

So what is the secret to a happy, thriving, loving marriage, where the fire of romance and close friendship do not fade?

From popular Christian voices Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer, The Flirtation Experiment inspires you to strengthen your marriage with a fun, unexpected approach that leads to the depth, richness, and closeness you desire. 

Ready to make a significant impact on your marriage . . . one small flirtatious experiment at a time?

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