It’s amazing how a beautiful word spoken to your child each day can build their hearts up and make your love known to them.
For starters, I figured my daughter already knew.
I consider all our daughters quite beautiful, so I would’ve thought it’d be apparent to them too. Surely, they could see that much just by looking into the mirror?
Besides, I’d read somewhere that you should be careful about focusing too much on a girl’s appearance because it can lead her “to feel insecure or make her vain”—maybe both if that’s possible?
How I wish I had never read that particular parenting article!
A Kind and Beautiful Word
If I’d listened to my maternal instincts, I would’ve told my children that they’re beautiful. But, instead, I thought back to that one paragraph about how it might be “damaging” to say such things to your daughters, and so I refrained.
That is, until one day when one of my gorgeous daughters (I say that without apology now) asked me, honestly, and even wistfully, “Do you think I’m pretty, Mom?”
Oh, child, that you would even have to ask…or worry. “Of course you’re lovely! You’re so beautiful in every way!”
This question led to a long-overdue heart-to-heart conversation that afternoon. We talked about beauty—both inside and out—and what it looks like for a young woman. Because, trust me, I never want her to be in doubt again if I can help it.
So never mind that latest popular parenting article or post. Rather, I’d encourage you to tell your daughter how truly beautiful (and smart, kind, interesting, etc.) you believe her to be. She needs to hear these things, especially from a loving parent who can better see it than anyone else.
How do you fill your child’s mind with good, encouraging, and edifying thoughts?
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Phil. 4:8)
As parents, we might have warm and loving thoughts toward our children. We might believe in their gifts and have great hope for their future. But our perspective only has its greatest impact when we turn around and communicate this to our kids.
Our children are not mind-readers! They’re desperate to hear we’re cheering for them and that we’re standing with and behind them. But how will they know if we never tell them? This kind of communication doesn’t happen by osmosis (as evidenced by the true story above!).
Our kids need to hear us say the words and articulate our loving thoughts toward them. They need to hear our strong message spoken often and on repeat. Our children will thrive on hearing a kind and beautiful word from us every single day.
Even simple affirmations such as:
- You are so beautiful – inside and out.
- Spending time with you reminds me of how interesting you are.
- You have an important place in this family.
- What you did today took a lot of courage.
- You have a sharp mind.
Our children will hear plenty of discouraging messages from friends, family, strangers, and the world around them, so it’s all the more critical that we make the most of this incredible opportunity to build them up with our affirming words.
As parents, we might not have the power to change circumstances or fix every hurt in our children’s lives, but we do have the power of positive affirmation. So don’t underestimate what God can do with your uplifting, encouraging, healing words in the heart and mind of your child.
In His grace,
Every one of us has tremendous power to either build others up or tear them down through the words we speak every day, and nowhere is this more evident than in our families.
Are you purposeful in how you use the power of your words to speak encouragement, strength, and love–breathing life into the heart of your children? Or are careless words having a negative impact on both your kids and your family legacy?
Matt and Lisa Jacobson want you to discover the powerful ways you can build your children up in love with the beautiful words you choose to say every day–words that every son and daughter needs to hear.
These books offer you one hundred phrases to say to your son or daughter – along with short, personal stories and examples – that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire. So start speaking a kind and beautiful word into their lives daily and watch your children–and your relationship with them–transform before your eyes. Available—>HERE!