Struggling with Doubt? Dive Deeper into a Real Relationship with God

Doubt isn’t the enemy of faith—it’s an invitation to know God more. The more time we spend with Him, the more we believe.

If you’ve ever had the joy of having a ride-­or-­die friend, you know the more time we spend with someone, the more stuff we go through together, the more closely knit we become. The same is true of God. 

The More Time We Spend With God, The Less We Doubt Him

Matthew, Mark, and Luke all tell the story of a conversation Jesus and his disciples had as they came to the region of Caesarea Philippi. On the dusty roads in the foothills, Jesus asks them a direct question, apparently without a word of preamble or warning: “Who do the crowds say I am?” (Luke 9:18).

The disciples’ answer seems remarkably casual, as if Jesus had asked them who everyone thinks the next James Bond will be. “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life” (v. 19).

Jesus’s next question must have cut the atmosphere with a knife. Did he pause, letting the dust settle at his feet before continuing? Did he raise an eyebrow at their apparent disinterest? We’ll never know, but the big, fat, juicy “BUT” he continues with tells us another answer mattered far more.

“BUT what about you?” he asked. “Who do YOU say I am?” (v. 20, emphasis mine).

In this easy-­to-­miss three-­letter word, Luke seems to imply Jesus wasn’t that interested in the crowds’ views but was utterly focused on what his closest friends—­the guys he’d be leaving in charge of his ministry––thought. What did they think?

Jesus didn’t ask, “Do you understand what I’m doing?” or “Do you agree with me?” or even “Do you trust me?”

As far as I can tell from reading the Gospels, Jesus never asked his disciples or any of us to agree, be certain, or understand. Instead, he encouraged them—­and in turn us—­to ask who we think he is, to believe in him, and to be in relationship with him.

Believing and Understanding

For many of us, believing followed understanding. We heard the gospel message, saw our own sinful, yucky side and lack of a way to save ourselves, and understood the equation of Jesus taking our place on the cross. Only then did we say yes to the outrageous grace and mercy of the transaction. We wanted Jesus to take the wheel and steer the train wreck of our lives so we could enjoy the peace, abundant life, and love that came free with our simple yes.

Maybe if I’d seen belief not as a destination (or even a starting point) but as a natural by-­product of my relationship with God, everything would have felt a little easier, less pressured and weighty.

This idea has a rightness about it. It’s not just theologically sound (phew!) but our stuck selves only have one thing to do: get to know someone better. We don’t have to figure everything out or do intellectual gymnastics worthy of an Olympic theologian. 

We don’t even have to set ourselves the goal of certainty. All our poor, stuck, doubt-­wrestling selves need to do is find one simple way to get to know God better. Then rinse and repeat.

Reflection: 

Do you ever put pressure on yourself to not have any doubts about your faith? How would that change if you thought about your doubts as a way to draw closer to God?

If you liked this post, check out the book God, Can We Chat?: A Daringly Honest Guide to Growing Closer to God, One Doubt at a Timeby Niki Hardy. Niki invites you to take Jesus at his word when he calls you to come as you are right now–a doubting believer or perhaps even a believing doubter–to experience the intimacy and rest your soul craves in the midst of fear, doubt, anger, or confusion.

Niki Hardy is the author of the Audi Award-nominated Breathe Again and One-Minute Prayers for Women with Cancer, and has been featured on the Hallmark Channel, Life Today, and Premier Radio. Having left corporate life, been to seminary, moved continents, planted churches, started businesses and nonprofits, and navigated loss, cancer, church hurt, and painful uncertainty, she firmly believes God loves a cheerful doubter. Niki lives in North Carolina with her husband and ridiculous Doodle, Charlie, who is the main reason their three grown kids come home. Learn more at NikiHardy.com.