An adaption from Psalm 139
O Lord, you have searched me and You know me.
You know when I sit in the crawlspace looking through my son’s Rubbermaid full of childhood.
You know when I rise and start the washer, so that he has clean clothes to wear to graduation.
You perceive my thoughts about the day we’ll load his car and drive him from the top of Montana to the center of Texas for college.
You hem me in –standing behind me when I saw the positive pregnancy test 18 years ago and standing before me when I wonder how we’ll fund four years of college.
You have laid Your hand upon me,
the way I laid my hand upon his forehead while he was sleeping.
the way I laid my hand upon his backside when he was naughty.
the way I rested my hand on his arm during Saturday night church.
Your hand upon me
–such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I hold a newborn in the crook of my arm and admire the dimples in his hand, You are there.
If I see that child in my rearview mirror come August, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn and find his bedroom uncomfortably empty,
if I settle on the far north of the continental U.S. while he is in tornado country,
even there Your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness of missing my children will hide me and the empty nest years become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.
You know me.
Your hand is on me.
You are there.
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