How My Husband Became My Best Friend

How My Husband Became My Best Friend

He often introduces me as his girlfriend.

Ever-so-slightly embarrassing.

He’ll say it to the barista at Starbucks, or the cashier in the check-out line of the grocery store. Even to the new couple we met at the homeschool picnic.

After 22 years, you’d think I’d get used to it, but it still makes me blush.

And smile.

I always hasten to add that I also happen to be his wife –an important fact to establish when you have 8 children together.

And I’ll flash my wedding ring to prove it if necessary.

I think he gets some kind of odd gratification out of my embarrassment.

Then pretends to protest, “What . . . you are my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

Yes, well . . .

It’s true: I am a girl. And I am his friend.  A close friend.

The best of friends, really.

So I guess that does make me his girl-friend.

And like most good friendships, ours has grown over time. We’ve had to invest in our friendship and look after it.

So many times people think it’s because we somehow just “click”. But while there might be some “clicking” between us, it’s more than that. Far more than that.

It wasn’t as though we instantly became best friends. It’s been a long, purposeful process.

Here is how we became the best of friends….

How My Husband and I Became Best Friends

How Your Husband Can Become Your Best Friend

By spending time together.  I know. You’re going to tell me how busy you are. I understand busy. And yet I figure I manage to get a shower (usually) and several meals a day. That’s because it’s a priority with me. I need these things.

I also need time with my husband, so I can make that happen too.

By being nice to him.  You know how you’re super sweet to your girlfriends?  Smile and cheer them on? Do nice things for them? Yeah, well, it’s kinda the same here. This friendship is no different.

Play nice.

By being interested in his stuff. So I have one friend who is really into gardening. And another who is into goats. I am not particularly keen on either of those things – but since it’s my friends we’re talking about here, I’ve decided to be interested. For their sakes.

Same with my husband.

By having fun together.  Friendships are never all business, are they? Of course not! It’s not like you sit down with your girlfriend and constantly go over the budget, or decide who is going to drive which child where.  No, you sip coffee, go fun places and laugh at each other’s stories!

Hello . . . ?

By praying for him. If you’re a friend of mine, than you already know that I pray for you.  I can’t always get away from the kids, or write long emails, but you can count on my praying for you. It’s one of my “love gifts” to my friends.

And I pray for my husband and he knows it.

Just this past week-end Matthew was out-of-town on a business trip and called to ask me to pray for him about a particular issue.  I started praying as soon as I hung up the phone.

Because that’s what friends do.

{You might also be interested in joining the 31 Days of Prayer for Our Marriages by Time-Warp Wife. Her Prayer Challenge is starting up this week on October 1st!}

So if you ever run into my husband and he introduces me as his girlfriend, just smile and go along with it, will you?

Maybe even tell him that you feel like you already know him . . . . since Lisa talks so much about her boyfriend. ;)

Embracing friendship.

*How do you and your husband invest in your friendship? Or what are some of the things that get in the way? I love hearing from you, friends!

In His grace,

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*I hope you’ve enjoyed our Virtual Marriage Retreat! You can still hop over to any of the links below to catch up on all the articles written for this series. 

Embrace Your Marriage - A Virtual Marriage Retreat

These 5 bloggers and I have joined together to offer a word of wisdom and inspiration to encourage you in your marriage.

On these  5 topics . . . .

  • Embracing Grace 
  • Embracing Change  
  • Embracing Your Differences  
  • Embracing Unity 
  • Embracing Friendship 

100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

A Spiritual Lift for the Tired and Busy Mom

A Spiritual Lift for the Tired & Busy Mom

So my husband and I had one of those conversations in the car this week.

Oh no, not one of those.

This one was actually about this book I’d just finished reading.

He could tell that I was enjoying it. Because he kept seeing it in my hands whenever I had a spare minute.

(Not that I really have “spare” minutes, but you know what I mean.)

I’d first heard about this book when some friends were posting on Facebook their “Top 10 Books that were influential in their lives” and this book was listed on several of them.

So naturally, I had to check it out.

Now, after reading it, I could see why it was listed in the Top Ten.

This book offers a spiritual lift to a tired and busy mom.

And you want to know something? This “tired and busy” mom could use a lift now and then.

Like right now.

And so I found myself picking up Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full every chance I got. Because friends? My hands are full right now.

Maybe your hands are full too.

If so, I thought you might be as encouraged and refreshed as I was by this little book of “Gospel devotions”.

About Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms

A Treasure-filled Book: In it you’ll find gems such as these:

“When the mundane looms larger than eternal life, we forget who God is, who we are, and who our children are.

When we have eternity in view, we respond to motherhood differently than if we lived just for the moment. We see that our children are marching toward a destiny.”

and

“God’s grace to us in Christ is greater than any frustration that threatens to unravel us. Because Jesus is upholding the universe with His word, we can trust Him with any no-good, very bad day.” ~ Gloria Furman

A Short, but Deep Read:  This is a relatively small book – only 160 pages long – and yet contains many rich truths for the weary mom to consider.

A Christ-Centered Book: This is more of a WHY than a how-to book. The author is continually pointing us back to Christ and His Word rather than a practical, child-training type of book (Both can be helpful to moms: I just wanted to clarify that this book falls more into the first category).

An Encouragement to Moms with Young Children and More: While the author is primarily addressing the mothers of young ones, I still found her insights and reminders to be very refreshing at the stage I am in with older children.

An Honest and Inspiring Testimony: In addition to being the wife of a pastor and mother of four young children, Gloria and her family minister in the Middle East at the Redeemer Church of Dubai. Her hands certainly qualify as “full” to overflowing.

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms
by Gloria Furman
Paperback: 160 pages
Publisher: Crossway; 1 edition (March 31, 2014)

Motherhood is tough, and it often feels like the to-do list just gets longer and longer every day—making it hard to experience true joy in God, our children, and the gospel.

In this encouraging book for frazzled moms, Gloria Furman helps us reorient our vision of motherhood around what the Bible teaches. Showing how to pursue a vibrant relationship with God–even when discouragement sets in and the laundry still needs to be washed–this book will help you treasure Christ more deeply no matter how busy you are. ~ from the back cover of Treasure Christ When Your Hands Are Full

*Gloria Furman is also the author of Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home. You can read more from and about Gloria on her blog: GloriaFurman.com

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full is available (both paperback and Kindle) for purchase HERE.

Club31Women Book Reviews1So for all you tired and busy moms (and we know who we are) who could use a lift, this book offers spiritual encouragement in the middle of an intensely pouring-out season of life.

I hope you’ve found this Club31Women Book Review helpful and inspiring!

 

In His grace,
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(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

The Parent Trap: What to Do If You’ve Fallen Into a Parenting Rut

The Parent Trap - What to Do If You've Fallen Into a Parenting Rut and How to Get Back On Track

Do you remember those first moments after the birth of your first child?

For me, time, itself, came to a screeching halt as I gazed down upon my son

. . . My Son.

Those words were an explosion, an earthquake.

From somewhere deep within the unreachable expanse of the universe, an announcement was being made: Matthew Leonard Jacobson is now a father.

He lay there, peaceful, content – not doing much of anything except for the cadence of his perfectly formed chest, beating out the rhythm of life – like a drum in preparation for battle.

I couldn’t stop staring, couldn’t get enough of this . . . this vast miracle. It was like staring into the Grand Canyon for the first time – too big, too wonderful. You can’t take it in because your mind can’t contain it but, you can’t stop gazing into its endless mystery.

The drive home from the hospital was fraught with peril.

Never before had I realized how crazed the mad drivers of Portland really were. Why, there was one hapless driver who had the nerve to get within three dangerous car lengths of my back bumper! Didn’t that wreckless tailgater know I had The Sacred, Fragile, Treasure of the Universe on board? Unbelievable! It was non-stop peril until we got inside the apartment and locked the door.

“Piece of Work” pretty much sums it up for this first-time, maniacally overprotective father.

What God Is Doing in the World

Sanity was not long in recovering herself as we settled into our dreams for our new family. Once again, from somewhere in the Universe as we gazed into the oceanic expanse of this massive little life, we heard the Inspiring Voice of Destiny laying before us all that our new son could and would be.

What we were experiencing – what every new parent experiences on some level – is what God is doing in the world.

This is what makes the advent of a child so otherworldly, so exhilarating.

Do you remember those first weeks? God, in His infinite wisdom and divine purposes, has entrusted you and I with what He is doing in the world.

Children are what God is doing in the world.

But then . . . we forget . . . because of the noise, because of the bills, because of the pressures, the groceries, the activities, the schedule, the culture smog . . . because of The Parent Trap of everyday life.

Where once was vision, purpose, God’s best for the future, and our commitment to be purposeful, godly parents, are the endless demands of modern “Christian” life stuffed into too few hours until we fall into bed, hoping to get enough sleep so we can do it all again.

It’s a trap. It’s The Parent Trap.

The Parent Trap

God’s purposes haven’t changed from those first few hours you experienced eternity in the form of a little life. God’s vision hasn’t changed. What God is doing (our children) hasn’t changed, even though they’re a little older now.

But, we have changed.

We’re older, more tired, distracted by cares and a thousand other things that blur the focus of the trust placed in us by God for the discipling of our children.

And that makes all the difference when it comes to being the shepherd of our children’s hearts.

When You've  Fallen into a Parenting Rut and How to Get Back Out

How do we get out of the trap and regain the understanding and vision that what we are doing as parents is so much more important than the busy things that scream for attention ?

We have to get our head back in the game or, more to the point, get our eyes on eternity, where what we do here and now will be ultimately realized.

1)    We must remember that our children are what God is doing in the world. Say to yourself every day, “My child/children are what God is doing in the world.”

2)    Remind yourself that, “My relationship with my child is more important than any activity we will do today.”

3)    Tell yourself that, “Today, God has entrusted this little life to me to nurture, to shepherd, and to point the way to Him.”

As parents, we have this moment with our children. There is no guarantee for another. We don’t know the future.

Let’s be reminded that Jesus only chose 12 disciples (those the Father gave Him, it says in the Gospel of John) to turn upside down the entire world.

How many disciples did God entrust to you?

Dad, Mom . . . you are the head of an enormously important enterprise. It might seem like only a bunch of messy peanut butter and honey on the outside of jars and a lot of dirty laundry but God is at work through your faithful witness and focused leading of your family to bring about the future as He intends – that’s massive.

So, remember the destiny you saw and felt in those first few weeks of your first child.

You’re walking in that destiny, even now.

Matthew L. and Lisa JacobsonMatthew L. Jacobson has been in the book publishing industry for 22 years and is currently the president of Loyal Arts Literary Agency. For the last 10 years, he’s served as a teaching elder in his local Church. Matthew and his beautiful bride of 22 years, Lisa, raise their 8 children in the Pacific NW. You can join him at his blog by clicking here: MatthewLJacobson.com or find Matthew on facebook.
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson

 

Six of the Best Blogs on Loving Motherhood

6 of the Best Blogs on Loving Motherhood

So when I started this whole Mom-Thing . . . 

I was nervous.  Excited.

And more than a little scared.

You see, I felt very ill-equipped to be a mom.

I’d never been one before and –  now don’t tell anyone this – I didn’t know what I was doing.

But I’ve learned some things along the way, now that I’ve been mothering for over 20 years. Some I learned from experience. Some I learned the hard way.

But mostly  I learned from mothers who had gone before.

I read books, articles, and magazines – anything I could get my hands on that would help me become a better mom.

And now we have this thing called blogs.

Advice and encouragement is only a click away!

I don’t know about you? But I don’t have tons of time to search out, try out, and figure out what’s the best. So I thought today I’d share with you some of the best blogs I’ve found on loving motherhood.

*These are all blogs which share from a Christian perspective and which focus primarily on encouraging motherhood (rather than a variety of topics). You can “click” on either the title of the blog or the image and it will take you directly to each one. 

The 6 Best Blogs on Loving Motherhood

Pint-Sized Treasures

Mom-to-mom encouragement for your journey in motherhood.  Alison, the mother of six beautiful children, offers all kinds of encouragement and ideas!  She will inspire you with her articles on parenting, recipes, crafts, devotionals, pregnancy and more.  I always leave her site feeling fresher and lighter than when I arrived. 

Pint-Sized Treasures with Alison Wood

The Busy Mom

Real encouragement and honest discussion about life as a busy mom. The mother of 7 and grandmother of one,  Heidi St. John is a popular speaker and author who offers humor and refreshing honesty in all her communication.  She writes on balancing life as a busy mom, as well as help for homeschooling and loving God’s Word. You can count on Heidi to speak straight to ya and I love that about her!

The Busy Mom with Heidi St_ John

Joyful Mothering

Discipling mothers and helping mothers disciple their children. Christin Slade is also the mother of 7 children (two recently adopted from Ghana!) and her heart for children and the Word of God is a definite blessing to me. This was one of the first blogs I followed when I started blogging. I especially appreciate her series on “Moms in the Word”!

Joyful Mothering with Christin Slade

The M.O.B. Society (for Moms of Boys)

Finding delight in the chaos of raising boys, and raising a generation of men to love the Lord. If you’ve got boys, the MOB Society is great place to go!  Erin Mohring and Brooke McGlothlin co-host this site FOR Moms of Boys, By Moms of Boys. Brooke is also the author of Praying For Boys: Asking God for the Things They Need Most

The MOB Society

Mothers of Daughters (M.O.D. Squad)

MOD Squad [mŏd/skwɒd] n Mothers of Daughters: Modern moms raising girls with timeless Truth, walking together. And if you have daughters? Here’s a place for you. Stacey Thacker, mother of 4 daughters, and others offer inspiration and practical truths that are applicable for girls of all ages. 

Mothers of Daughters with Stacey Thacker

The Better Mom

Our mission is to build God-honoring homes by inspiring moms to be better moms through sharing life and learning together.  Not only have I been blessed by being one of the writers for TheBetterMom, I’m also an enthusiastic reader. It’s actually one of the few blogs that I subscribe to!  Ruth Schwenk and the women behind these articles are genuine, godly ladies and I’ve personally benefited from the wisdom and encouragement offered there. You’ll find a wide variety of topics and interesting articles over there each day.

The Better Mom with Ruth Schwenk

So I hope you find all of these resources helpful and insightful!

But before I close – more than anything – I’d encourage you to spend time seeking God and looking in His Word FIRST.

Because nothing, nothing, can replace or improve on the wisdom and refreshment that comes from God above. 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. ~ II Tim. 3:16-17

I’m so thankful to be walking with you through this whole Mom-Thing!

*Please share your favorite(s) blogs on mothering, or feel free to share your own blog if you’re a blogger as well.  I’m very interested!

In His grace,
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(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)
100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife by Matthew L Jacobson
*If you would like these posts delivered directly to your inbox, simply subscribe below (and get the FREE eBook, The 7 Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage).