Ten Lovely Things I Tell My Girls About Beauty

What does beauty really look like? Here are some things you can tell your daughter.

I’m surprised that I couldn’t find anything on beauty.

That was her comment to me when we drove into town the other day.

My daughter, Vienna, kept her eyes on the road while she was driving, as I sat in the passenger seat looking out at the fresh snowfall that covered the countryside.

I wasn’t sure exactly where it was that she couldn’t find “beauty”, so I asked her to explain.

Well, I couldn’t find an article addressing beauty on your blog and it just surprised me, that’s all. You’ve talked with us about it ever since we were little girls . . . .

And she was right.

I am rather passionate about the topic of beauty. And I’ve often discussed it with the girls.

What beauty is. And what it is not.

Now just to clarify, the beauty Vienna was referring to was primarily physical beauty and the role it plays in a young woman’s life.

And we talked about it because I wanted our daughters to be aware of beauty . . . to feel beautiful . . . but not to get lost in the chase. Searching for some elusive, deceptive image out there. Seeking a kind of “pretty” that doesn’t exist outside of photoshop or plastic surgery.

Such an empty waste of time, energy, and gifts.

A potential trap, really, for all of us girls.

So I wanted – still want – our daughters to be free from such things. I hope that they will be happy with the way God made them and be content with their appearance.

And to know what it is to be truly beautiful—just the way you are.

(Below: our 4 daughters and my beautiful mother-in-law)


Vienna Jacobson in 2015

Our Girls with Avonlea

Pat Jacobson

10 Lovely Things I Tell My Daughters About Beauty

1.  Beauty can be seen in a genuine smile.

If there’s one real “beauty secret”, it’s a bright smile. Lights up your entire face and makes everyone near you feel special.  Maybe they can’t quite put their finger on it, but they’ll remember you as beautiful.

2.  Beauty is far more about loveliness than it is sexiness.

I suppose sexy has always been “in” – but now more than ever. It’s flaunted literally everywhere: posted all over the internet, splattered across magazines, and exposed in movies. But I suggest you save “sexy” for your husband and enjoy being simply lovely for everyone else.

3.  Beauty is cultivated with only a bit of care.

Look after yourself. Dress in clothes and colors that compliment you. Eat well. Get fit. Invest a little in your appearance – just don’t let it overly dominate your thoughts or budget.

4.  Beauty doesn’t draw attention to herself.

Your goal shouldn’t be to catch the eye of everyone else when you walk into a room. A sweet spirit and a warm heart have a longer-lasting impact – much more than high-fashion or pouty lips – on the people around you.

5.  Beauty is bringing out the best of you.

Maximize your favorite features—those qualities that are distinctive to you. The color of your eyes. The wave in your hair. These are your true “beauty spots”, so make the most of them!

6.  Beauty is not a standard set by celebrities or movie-stars.

The fame and good-looks of celebrities come and go, but God-given beauty is unchanging. Don’t look to Hollywood for your defintion of beautiful. Beauty existed long before the invention of cameras or film.

7.  Beauty is less body-conscious and more soul-aware.

The culture’s emphasis on the “perfect” body is incredibly deceptive. A beautiful woman is so much more than her outward curves. So much more. 

8.  Beauty based on youth fades, but true beauty stays until the end of your days.

Youth is fleeting, so don’t bank on being “forever young”. Take a long-term view of how you want to live and how you want to be remembered—aim for a beautiful life.

9.  Beauty embraces her imperfections.

Slim. Curvy. Crooked smile. Freckles. Big nose. Small nose. Short. Tall. We are all so keenly aware of what we consider to be our “imperfections.” But self-confidence is ten times more attractive than self-consciousness, so let go of those silly little things. They mean way less than you might think they do.

10. Beauty is about making the most of the very unique you.

And so that’s why there’s no need to compare yourself to others or try to look like everyone else. You are lovely because you are a gift from God.

So smile, my dear, because you are truly beautiful!

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. ~ Song of Solomon 4:7

In His grace,

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{See also: I Peter 3:3-4; Proverbs 31:30; I Samuel 16:7}

100 Words of Affirmation Your Son/Daughter Needs to Hear

Matt and Lisa Jacobson want you to discover the powerful ways you can build your children up in love with the beautiful words you choose to say every day–words that every son and daughter needs to hear.

These affirmation books offer you one hundred phrases to say to your son or daughter – along with short, personal stories and examples – that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire.

So start speaking a kind and beautiful word into their lives daily and watch your children–and your relationship with them–transform before your eyes.

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