Our husbands need to hear ‘I love you’ in ways that are unspoken, through our actions.
I’m not sure that I understood the man’s mind when we first got married.
Or maybe I should say understood his masculine heart.
I mean, I thought I did . . . but it turned out I had a lot to learn.
Lots and lots.
I figured mostly what I needed to do was to look up at him with adoring eyes and occasionally say, “I love you” and that about covered it.
It had worked so well when we were dating . . . .
But less so as time went on.
Not that he still didn’t want to hear it, but I found there were other ways to tell the guy that you love him.
I discovered that – much like me – he needs to hear love spoken in a variety of ways.
And he needs more than just big eyes and a few romantic words.
So my friend Christy and I decided to pool our marriage experience to offer some suggestions (sort of a “two for one” deal) in case you were looking for new ideas too.
So here’s what we came up with . . . .
15 Ways to Say You Love Him
1. Prepare him food that he especially likes.
I know. It may seem a bit silly to you, but the feeling is real. They might say that “Love makes the world go round,” but the truth is—it’s food.
Especially cinnamon rolls.
Preferably homemade and with extra cinnamon goo.
2. Do one of his chores that he wouldn’t expect you to do.
Surprise! All done. Just ’cause and no need for thanks.
3. Display overt public affection.
Remember how you used to drape yourself all over him when you were dating or engaged? (you did do this, didn’t you??)
Well, no reason to leave off with that lovey-dovey stuff.
Even my silver-haired hunk of a guy loves it when I wrap my arms around his neck. Or tuck my arm into his. Or snuggle in next to him. Right in front of everyone.
Somewhat embarrasses the teenagers, but I figure it’s good for them.
And I know it’s good for him.
4. Tell him Chris Hemsworth only wishes he could look so good.
No explanation necessary. 😉
5. Serve him with style.
For instance, making his dinner could be described as my “job.” But when I add a little extra flair? Put some finishing touches on the plate? Present it with a warm smile?
It communicates that it’s not only my job – it’s my pleasure.
6. Buy white bread on occasion.
Contains zero nutrition.
And a bit hard on the soul.
But there you have it.
The way to a man’s heart.
7. Initiate you-know-what.
Your man likes to know that you find him desirable too.
8. Do something cheerfully where you would normally have a habit of whining and making his life miserable.
So go ahead and shock the socks off of him.
9. Brag on him.
Tell family and friends – maybe even complete strangers – how much you appreciate the man that he is. Preferably within his hearing.
10. Make an effort to enjoy an activity along with him, even though it’s not your thing.
Sometimes “laying down your life” means watching a sports game with him. Tagging along on that unfamiliar adventure. Or, in my case, being willing to go dirt-camping when I’d rather sit by clear, blue water at an upscale resort. Sigh.
11. Play footsies with him under the table.
You wouldn’t believe something so simple could be so effective. My husband still looks up with astonishment – and I’ve been playing this game with him for over 20 years now!
12. Learn the lingo of his favorite hobby.
Casually throw out your thoughts on the improved clinch knot or perhaps the Boone & Crockett Club. Or maybe drop some remark about the halyard or hawser. This kind of vocabulary is sure to get his attention.
13. Communicate contentment.
Let him know that he makes you happy.
Not that he – or your marriage – is perfect.
Not that you both don’t have room to grow.
But for today, for now, you’re content with him and the life you enjoy together.
It will mean a lot to him.
More than you might know.
14. Tell him, “Go fishing. You deserve it!”
My husband calls it “recess.”
So give him your blessing to go outside and play.
15. Listen to his heart.
Even if he doesn’t share it with words. Listen anyway. And listen carefully.
Because his masculine heart might be different than your feminine one.
But it’s still a heart.
And it’s his.
So why not tell him you love him?
Without so much as a word.
Matt and I share the very romantic – nearly tragic, but definitely funny – story of how we on our FAITHFUL LIFE podcast!
Matt and Lisa Jacobson, authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, are the hosts of a weekly podcast to talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture. Matt and Lisa offer deep encouragement, along with practical steps and true-life stories, as we grow in walking the faithful life together.
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