Feminism, Happiness, And Picking Up After That Man

I was propped up in bed, reading my Bible and enjoying a hot cup of coffee. He walked around and kissed me goodbye, as he headed out to work.

“Love you,” I said.

“Love you,” he said.

One minute later, the door opened and he came back in looking for something.

“Whadja forget?” I asked.

“Can’t find my shoes,” he said, as he bent over and searched the floor. “Oh, here they are –right under this pile of clothes I left on the floor.” His face showed he felt shame for not picking up after himself.

“That’s okay. That’s why you have a wife –to make your piles magically disappear,” I said.

He spit the words out of his mouth, “Oh my word! I’ve known women who would cuss at you for saying such a thing.”

“Let them cuss,” I said. “I’m about as happy as a married woman could possibly be in this world. Their feminism doesn’t have a leg to stand on in light of my personal satisfaction and deep happiness in my marriage. Let them cuss all they want.”

Wait. Pick Up After Him?

Let me break this down for you, in case you’re wondering how a woman possibly could be happy picking up her husband’s clothes when we all know he’s perfectly capable of doing that for himself. “Let him do it himself,” you might shout at me.

Except my whole life is surrendered to the God who made men and the God who made women. God is good and loving, and he knows how to do things right. When he made the very first woman, it was with a design for her to be a “suitable helper” for the man. (Genesis 2:18 NIV)

We were made to help our guy, and I find that the more I wake up in the morning and ask the question, “How can I help him today?” the happier I become.


I’m happy to do what God designed me to do. Happy to do work that I know is pleasing to the Lord. Happy to make Matt’s life easier in big ways and small ways.

So, I pick up his clothes and return them clean and folded to drawers. I also bring him coffee in bed every morning, fluff his pillow, and kiss him tenderly on the forehead. I take his truck to get the oil changed and clean his office at work occasionally.

Just helpin’ out however I can.

And can I just stop you before you begin with the “but what about him” statements? Not talkin’ about him.

I’m talking about me and my happiness. ME doing what God has made me to do. ME being obedient to the Lord, as I serve my husband in joy and humility. ME doing what is good and right. ME taking actions that lead to my own satisfaction and happiness.

Curse me if you want, but I’m not budging on this one. Do you want to be happy in your marriage? Start by helping your husband as much as you can. Anticipate his needs. Do stuff for him –not because he can’t do those things for himself but because you are choosing to serve him. Get in a habit of helping (with a good attitude!), and see if it doesn’t have a positive effect on your own heart.

What can you do for your man today?

Much love from Montana,

Christy Fitzwater

A 52-Week Devotional for the Deeper, Richer Marriage You Desire

An intimate, loving marriage is so much closer than you think

Imagine if, at the end of the year, despite your busy schedules and all the demands on your time and attention, you and your husband were more in sync, more connected, and more in love than ever before. Sounds amazing, right?

That kind of marriage is what is waiting for you as you read through the fifty-two weekly devotions in Loving Your Husband Well. Each entry includes a specific theme, related Scripture, a powerful devotion, thoughts for further reflection, practical ideas, and a prayer, all designed to help you love, cherish, and serve the man who shares life’s journey with you.

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