10 Sane Steps for When He Makes You Crazy
Maybe it’s common that your husband makes you crazy. What if you turned that crazy around into something more productive?
Just like you and dad.
That’s the kind of marriage she said she’d always wanted.
She wanted to love, to laugh, and to hold on the way he and I did. She was only a little girl.
Now here she stands a young woman.
And suddenly it feels more urgent to pack in everything I’ve ever wanted her to know.
But I found myself a bit hesitant to say what was on my heart on this particular day. She pressed me, “What, Mama? What is it?”
I answered slowly and carefully. “I think you should know that someday, at some point, your dream man is going to say or do something that’s going to make you mad.
She looked up at me without understanding.
And I continued.
“Well, I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but you should be ready for the eventuality that he WILL infuriate you. As in, makes you a little crazy. And when that happens, I want you to remember our conversation today.
Because if you’re not prepared?
It might throw you off. Knock you off your feet. Make you wonder if you’re really meant for each other.”
I felt her lean into me. For a brief moment she was my little girl again, but only for a moment.
Then this lovely young woman beside me asked, “But what…what if we were really, really determined to love each other. Like you and dad. Then he wouldn’t make me crazy-mad would he?”
Maybe she’ll be different than me. Different than you.
But I kinda doubt it.
So rather than wistfully hoping we’ll never get upset with him, why not prepare ourselves for what to do “if” that happens?
You know, in case he ever hurts your feelings. Forgets your birthday. Picks up annoying habits. Leaves his laundry on the floor – for the hundredth time. Says the wrong thing. Or something strange like that.
10 Sane Steps For When He Makes You Crazy
1. Wait until you cool down.
Before saying or doing anything. A really good first step.
2. Pray about it.
Yes, I really mean that. Prayer can settle your soul and clarify your thinking. Pray for him and pray for yourself.
3. Determine whether it’s worth “fighting” for.
It might simply be an offense you can overlook. Or maybe not.
4. Clearly identify the issue.
Maybe it was only a “small” thing, but it’s significant to you for your own reasons. Be ready to explain those reasons the best you can.
5. Approach him in love.
This means not coming after him with eyes blazing (see #1).
6. Be prepared to listen.
He might – just might – have his own side to the story. Hear him out too.
7. Give him time.
He could need to think about it (and keep praying while he’s thinkin’!).
8. Be ready to forgive.
Not necessarily because he deserves it. Or that it’s easy. But because you’ve been forgiven much too.
9. Let it go.
Don’t hold on and let bitterness take root. And don’t throw it in his face the next time it happens (Did I say “next time”…?).
10. Choose to love him.
All over again. And then again.
So What If He Makes You Crazy?
Hopefully, you’re not like me. You’re even-keeled and nothing ever bugs you or hurts your feelings. You never get mad or frustrated with him. It’s smooth sailing for you and I’m so glad that it is. Truly.
But for those of you – like my daughter – who struggle with much the same things as me? You might want to consider taking these Ten Steps.
Because if you’re gonna go crazy, I say you might as well be crazy for him.
How to Have a 1 Corinthians 13 Marriage: Two Things Love DOESN’T DO! (a new mini-series)
Do you desire a deeper, richer, closer marriage? Matt and Lisa openly discuss their own marriage and what “The Love Chapter” says a loving marriage DOESN’T have and challenge you to make an honest assessment of your own marriage.
Join Matt & Lisa for this encouraging (and honest!) conversation on the FAITHFUL LIFE podcast about building a First Corinthians 13 love in your home and relationship. You can listen HERE or simply press “play” below!
FAITHFUL LIFE podcast
Matt and Lisa Jacobson, authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, are the hosts of a weekly podcast to talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture. Matt and Lisa offer deep encouragement, along with practical steps and true-life stories, as we grow in walking the faithful life together.
Subscribe to the FAITHFUL LIFE Podcast
Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Stitcher, Castbox, or (my personal favorite) Pocket Casts. Get notified each week when a new episode is available! New to podcasts...but don't know where to start? It's quite simple. Click here to learn more!
This post may contain affiliate links through which Club31Women might get a small compensation – with no additional cost to you. See my disclosure policy here.
Managing Worry and Anxiety
Scripture says “be anxious for nothing,” yet most of us find ourselves increasingly worried and anxious--about our families, our jobs, our finances, our security, and so much more. We’re even worried about our level of anxiety!
Integrating both the psychological and spiritual aspects of anxiety, therapist Jean Holthaus offers this research-driven and faith-informed approach to understanding why we experience anxiety and shows us how to effectively manage it by developing three essential skills:
– living in the present moment
– suspending judgment
– believing yourself to be competent and equipped by God
Our world is never going to be a completely safe and understandable place. But with Holthaus’s help, our hearts and minds can experience greater and lasting peace. Available at major bookstores and on Amazon!
A 52-Week Devotional for the Deeper, Richer Marriage You Desire
An intimate, loving marriage is so much closer than you think
Imagine if, at the end of the year, despite your busy schedules and all the demands on your time and attention, you and your husband were more in sync, more connected, and more in love than ever before. Sounds amazing, right?
That kind of marriage is what is waiting for you as you read through the fifty-two weekly devotions in Loving Your Husband Well. Each entry includes a specific theme, related Scripture, a powerful devotion, thoughts for further reflection, practical ideas, and a prayer, all designed to help you love, cherish, and serve the man who shares life’s journey with you.