What does it really take to have a happy marriage? For starters, it’s something you need to create!
I suppose everyone has their secrets.
I definitely have mine.
Although, I’d have to tell you that I never looked at it that way until one of our older daughters mentioned it. Actually, she said she “caught” me.
She noticed I did certain things that seemed to make a difference. Ways of diffusing tension. Small steps toward loving him.
Habits that helped with the happiness of our marriage.
So, yes, I guess I do have my “secrets,” and they’re really rather simple ones. Nothing big or brilliant, but I’ll share them in case you find that they make a difference in your marriage a happy marriage, too.
The 10 Habits of a Happy Marriage
1. Smile warmly first thing in the morning.
Okay, so I’m not exactly a morning person. You could say I’m more of a grumpy, where’s-my-coffee, kind of person. But I have determined to greet him with the warmest, most loving smile I can muster. Boy! Does this set a wonderful tone for the day.
2. Do more kissing than complaining.
This was the one I was “caught” doing. My husband had done something rather irritating. Downright irksome. And my daughter was watching it all from across the room. Rather than reacting, I laughed and planted a big, juicy one on his lips. Hah! That’ll teach him. 🙂
3. Take timing into consideration.
So I tend to blurt out what I’m feeling…when I’m feeling it. But I’m learning to hold back until I can communicate what I have to say calmly and when he’s in a better place to hear me out. It’s so worth waiting for the right moment.
4. Make your bedroom a beautiful place.
I like turning our room into a lovely oasis for us both. To make sure it’s a clean, warm, and inviting place – somewhere that he knows he can find order and peace. Somewhere special that he wants to be with me.
5. Pick and choose the issues you care about.
Decide not to jump on every possible offense. Save your “coupons” for those things that truly matter to you. For instance, I care far less about who takes out the trash than I do about the way he talks to me.
6. Purpose to connect with him each day.
We like to have coffee together every morning. And I like to send along a short love note, give him a quick call in the middle of the day, or simply snuggle into him at the end of the evening.
The way he likes his coffee. When he feels like talking…and when he doesn’t. When he needs an item that I could pick up for him while in town. Those tiny details that express love to him.
8. Bless him with a kind word.
Pass on a word of encouragement or appreciation. Make it your daily habit to say something nice to him. It’s amazing how that small kindness builds up to something big over time.
9. Reach out and touch him.
Before you go to sleep at night. Even if he crawls in bed later than me, I like to reach over and remind him that I’m there. And that I’m always his girl. I want him to drift off thinking about my love for him.
10. Tell him, “I love you.”
Every day. Who doesn’t need to be reminded that he is loved? That he is your special guy? Mine still likes to hear it, even though I’ve been telling him so for over 27 years now. I figure he’s heard it close to 10, 653 times – give or take a time or two. That’s a lot of love.
So those are some of my secrets. Ten of them. It’s not much, I know, but I do believe they’ve made a difference and helped us have a happy marriage.
Our daughter thinks so too. In fact, she’s confided that she wants to carry those secrets into her future marriage as well.
I hope she does.
Some secrets are meant to be passed on.
In His grace,
Is It Possible to Rekindle Intimacy? And 7 Other Marriage Questions from Listeners
Rekindling intimacy, Feeling Appreciated as a Wife, Dealing with Arguments in Marriage, How do you help your Husband feel Successful?
Join Matt & Lisa as they provide biblical answers on a variety of listener questions on the topic of marriage! You’re invited to listen to the FAITHFUL LIFE podcast by listening below on or on iTunes HERE.
Matt and Lisa Jacobson, authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and 100 Ways to Love Your Wife, are the hosts of a weekly podcast to talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture. Matt and Lisa offer deep encouragement, along with practical steps and true-life stories, as we grow in walking the faithful life together.
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New Book Recommendation
In 1993, Andrew Brunson was asked to travel to Turkey, the largest unevangelized country in the world, to serve as a missionary. Though hesitant because of the daunting and dangerous task that lay ahead, Andrew and his wife, Norine, believed this was God’s plan for them.
What followed was a string of threats and attacks, but also successes in starting new churches in a place where many people had never met a Christian. As their work with refugees from Syria, including Kurds, gained attention and suspicion, Andrew and Norine acknowledged the threat but accepted the risk, determining to stay unless God told them to leave.
In 2016, they were arrested. Though the State eventually released Norine, who remained in Turkey, Andrew was imprisoned. Accused of being a spy and being among the plotters of the attempted coup, he became a political pawn whose story soon became known around the world.
God’s Hostage is the incredible true story of his imprisonment, his brokenness, and his eventual freedom. Anyone with a heart for missions, especially to the Muslim world, will love this tension-laden and faith-laced book. Highly recommended!
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt and Lisa are also the co-hosts of the FAITHFUL LIFE podcast where they talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture.