Sometimes we don’t realize just how valuable our life-giving words can be to our husband.
We should have been sleeping.
Both of us.
Utterly exhausted, we had fallen into bed some time ago. Too tired to say much more than a simple, “Goodnight” and “Love you, babe.”
But I could hear him breathing loudly in the night next to me. Not the sweet, drifting-off-to-sleep kind of breathing—but the labored, heavy-in-heart kind.
I lay there listening to his restless soul.
Then finally whispering, “Hey, what’s going on, hon? What are you thinking about?”
He paused for a moment and I kept still, waiting for what he might say.
Then he started in on The List—rattling off all the ways he didn’t measure up.
How he hadn’t been spending enough time with the kids.
We were overdue for a date night.
Our finances were too tight.
The dishwasher still hadn’t been fixed.
The car needed new brakes.
And so on.
He was laying in the dark rehearsing all his failures.
I thought my heart might break hearing the many voices that so clearly haunted him.
Then I snuggled deeper into his side and put my hand over his mouth. “Shhh . . . stop thinking such things. That’s not the whole story and you’re so much better than that. You, my Love, are a good man.”
And I started in on a list of my own.
How he’s never missed one of the boys’ basketball games.
And that we had gone for that long walk earlier in the week.
Also, we would trust God to provide for us, as He always has.
Besides, people all over the world get by without a dishwasher, and we were fortunate to even have a car.
“You’re a good man, and I’m grateful for you. So go to sleep reflecting on those words and rest well, my love.”
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The power of your voice
That night was definitely a revelation.
Who would’ve guessed that my husband would be vulnerable to the same kind of take-down messages that I wrestle with?
He always seemed so in charge and so certain.
But now I found myself wide awake in the middle of the night, staring at the strong man finally asleep next to me, wondering how I could have missed it.
Up until then, I honestly thought self-doubt and discouragement were my own particular specialty.
I had no idea how desperate his thoughts ran when no one was watching.
And I never realized just how much he needs to hear my voice — a loving, loyal, encouraging voice — to drown out the defeating voices that swirled around in his head.
But it sure became apparent on that dark, sleepless night.
My husband needs to hear my words of encouragement.
Sometimes desperately so.
Words your husband needs to hear
Now maybe this will surprise you…or maybe deep down you already know.
But my husband is not the only one.
That man of yours needs to hear encouraging, affirming words from you every bit as much as mine did on that memorable night.
So don’t wait until it’s midnight. Stop right now, look your man in his eyes and tell him, “You’re a good man.”
Because those, my friend, are life-giving words to the man who needs to hear it.
Friends, I am so thrilled to share with you that my husband, Matt, and I are releasing these NEW books TODAY! If you’ve been around here for very long at all, you know how passionate we are about the power of the spoken word in your marriage—word that build up and strengthen him in ways you could never imagine.
We hope both of these books — 100 Words of Affirmation Your Husband Needs to Hear and 100 Words of Affirmation Your Wife Needs to Hear (sold separately, or together as a bundle!) — will encourage and inspire your own relationship with your spouse. But please know that these aren’t simply “teaching” books, but far more personal than that. We share bits of our own journey, both mistakes and victories, and what brought us to the marriage we now so richly enjoy.
We hope you’ll be encouraged and equipped in your own marriage by these new books filled with 100 Words of Affirmation!
by Matt and Lisa Jacobson
Every one of us has tremendous power to either build others up or tear them down through the words we speak every day, and nowhere is this more evident than in our marriages.
Are you being purposeful in how you use the power of your words to speak encouragement, strength, and love–breathing life into the heart of your spouse? Or are careless words having a negative impact on your marriage and on the heart of the one you love most?
Matt and Lisa Jacobson want you and your spouse to discover the powerful ways you can build one another up in love with the words that you choose to say every day–words that every husband and wife need to hear. These marriage books offer you 100 Things to say to your husband or wife that deeply encourage, affirm, and inspire.
Start speaking these words into each other’s lives and watch your spouse–and your relationship–transform before your eyes.
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt and Lisa are also the co-hosts of the FAITHFUL LIFE podcast where they talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture.