Free Yourself from the Weight of Living Offended
Offense My Copilot
My earliest memories were rooted in Caracas, Venezuela. I can still feel the warmth of the breeze, the kindness of the people, and the vibrancy of the culture. It was a place where I felt a sense of belonging so deep it still lingers.
Everything shifted when we moved back to the US. My parents had been separated, living in different countries, but I missed my dad deeply. I longed for his love—for a chance at family again. My mom said yes to leaving behind the life we knew, even though it terrified her. She made the move with hope in her heart—hope that maybe, just maybe, something could be restored.
She wanted more for me. A father. A family. A future we could reclaim. But her sacrifice unraveled quickly. My dad chose himself over us—preferring another woman and, above all, alcohol. The betrayal cut deep. It didn’t just hurt; it hollowed. And pain like that doesn’t stay contained. It spills into everything. It steals vision, chokes out hope, and leaves you grasping for meaning.
My dad’s choices rewrote how my mom saw herself—her worth, her value, her security. She gave everything she had to hold us together, but offense is a venom that poisons everything it touches. Her depression became a silent storm that swept through both of us, shaping my life in ways I’m only now beginning to untangle.
Offense and hurt have a way of clouding our ability to love and live with empathy, making us the most selfish and prideful versions of ourselves. My mom’s bitterness and regret weren’t just her personal struggles; they became a filter through which I saw everything. It was hard to love when it felt like we were both drowning in the same weight of pain.
Living from a Place of Hurt
Living offended happens when we make the choice to live from a place of hurt. And it’s a choice not just to live with the hurt but to live with the resentment and bitterness that accompany it.
God made us to be people free from the chains and the weight of always living offended. He desires for us to have the confidence to live life as He designed it, with love, patience, kindness, self-control, and joy. Through Jesus, He calls us to live in the security of His love so that no matter what comes our way, we will be like a tree, rooted and firmly planted by streams of living water (Ps. 1:3).
We all have defining moments of pain in our lives. But young or old, we have a choice. We can either live offended or release our grip on bitterness. We can’t control whether people hurt us. We will sin and be sinned against. Our ability to let go of offense begins with God, with Him as our compass and guide. Because time alone won’t heal our wounds, but time with God will.
When we’ve been walking too long on the path of offense, it’s like stepping through wet cement—fresh, heavy, and clinging to everything. At first, we think we’re moving forward, but over time, our feet sink. The longer we stand in it, the harder it is to move. Eventually, it hardens around us, and we find ourselves stuck—trapped in the very things we never meant to carry this long.
Friend, we have a choice to make. We can continue to hold on to the hurt and offense we are carrying, despite it breaking our backs, or we can choose freedom. This doesn’t mean excusing sinful behavior—ours or theirs—but rather healing from it. We are allowed, along with Jesus in Gethsemane, to ask God to let this cup pass from us while we process the pain to make peace with it. We will walk with God on this journey of learning to let go. We won’t deny our pain or minimize the hurt, but rather, we will let the hurt hurt. And as we do, we will notice where we need God most.
Reflection:
What chains of offense are keeping you down? Ask God to show you areas of your life where hurt is holding you back and ask Him to work with you to let those wounds heal at last.
If you liked this post, check out the book You Can Let Go by Alexandra Hoover. We love how in Alexandra dives deep into our willingness to be offended, uncovering our wounded pride, our insecurities, and our misplaced trust in the things (and people) of this world. With great compassion, she helps us get to the root of why we feel offended.
Alexandra Hoover is a compassionate writer, a sought-after speaker, and the author of Eyes Up and Without Wavering. With a heart for inspiring others, she combines biblical wisdom, practical insights, and a deep passion for helping people navigate life’s challenges with faith and hope. A proud Latina, Alexandra serves her local church and is pursuing a master of arts in women and theology at Northern Seminary. As a wife and mother of three, she treasures balancing family life with ministry, finding joy in serving, and inspiring others. To learn more, visit AlexandraVHoover.com or connect on social media @AlexandraVHoover.