For a long time, I avoided women’s ministry events. I just couldn’t bring myself to put on a good face and be around a bunch of people that I couldn’t stand or didn’t trust.
Yes, I had a serious attitude problem. But I felt justified.
How to Heal When Women Hurt You
You see, women in the church had seriously hurt me. They had talked about me behind my back and judged me without caring to find out the truth. The list could go on. Since I’d been hurt so much, I just decided to write the whole thing off.
I didn’t need them.
Fast forward a few more years and the loneliness in my heart was just more than I could bear. I remember attending the Women of Faith conference on my own. I cried the entire drive over to the location and as I sang worship songs with women that I didn’t know. I continued to cry as woman after woman took that stage and shared their stories.
I cried even harder when I realized that they were also sharing my story.
That was the first step towards healing for me. I started off really slow, reaching out to a trusted friend and a small group at her church. I was terrified, but in the end, my heart was blessed for it. And when my Daddy closed his eyes for the last time on this side of Heaven, each of those women stood beside me.
I have continued to reach out slowly to build relationships with other Christian women. I’m always hesitant at first but they have all been patient with me and loved on me anyway. Over the last few years, I have realized that women need community.
3 Reasons Women Need to Embrace Community
- Community is there to lift you up and pray for you when you are struggling and having a hard time. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it through my first few years as a single mom without my close friends.
- Community isn’t afraid to call you out when you are on the wrong path. All in love of course. I truly am grateful for women who love me enough to let me know when I’m headed down the wrong path. They have prayed for me and helped me to heal many times.
- Community is there to make sure you are not alone. If I’ve learned one thing over the years it is this: Satan wants nothing more than to isolate you from the Christian community. Why? Because he knows that’s the best way he can beat you down.
No matter what has happened in the past, please don’t neglect the gift of community and fellowship.
Blessings,
LaToya Edwards
LaToya
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Elaine M says
September 25, 2016 at 8:41 pmThank you for this article LaToya. You’re a star for sharing your story. I have been isolated for a few circumstancial reasons and I can definitely see how I became an easy target for the enemy – both in doing what is not pleasing to God and then overwhelming me with the guilt afterwards. Making myself part of a girls’ group again and being covered in prayer has definitely lifted me in spirit, made me accountable to my actions and set my mind back on the truth of God’s word. Bless you and every woman reading this. We need loving and encouraging women around us!
Janet Bayero says
September 20, 2016 at 6:46 amThank you ma’am for this post, I am really struggling with this issue of relating with women in my church. Thanks again.
LaToya says
September 20, 2016 at 9:02 amThat can be a hard place to be. I’ve been there before too. Maybe see if there’s someone you can mentor??
Cyndee says
September 16, 2016 at 3:43 pmLaToya, thank you for a glimpse at the power of women’s ministry! Women do need each other! I pray many will heed your words of wisdom and take steps toward healing if they’ve been wounded by the women in their church. And may the rest of us be more aware of how our actions and words affect others.
LaToya says
September 17, 2016 at 1:53 pmMy pleasure!
Ana (@ANAWINSblog) says
September 16, 2016 at 1:12 pmOh how I can relate. It is so hard to reach out after you’ve been hurt. Self-protection is the biggest hindrance to building a new friendship or healing an old one. I needed this nudge, thanks, LaToya.
Penelope says
September 15, 2016 at 9:57 amThis is incredibly timely… I’ve been struggling with this a great deal lately.
LaToya says
September 15, 2016 at 10:13 amI pray you are able to find the community you need (and that needs you)!
Jessica Diaz says
September 15, 2016 at 5:41 amGood Morning Latoya,
First, I love your writing. I subscribed to your emails and always feel inspired and even more connected to Jesus after reading them I was gay for many years before coming to know Jesus. That coupled with me being blind is just so lonely. This article really helped me because lately the Lord is just telling me to put myself out there. Say hi and introduce myself at church. Women can be so critical. Either I get the oh I am super woman because I can actually cook or oh can I hold your arm to get to the bathroom alone? You have blessed my morning.
Friend In Him,
Jessica Diaz
LaToya says
September 15, 2016 at 5:52 amWhat an amazing testimony! Keep listening to that still small voice. He loves you, wants what is best for you and will never lead you wrong. Be good and courageous! You can do it.