It was a pretty good fight.
Started with him leaning over me, to look at the clock. I looked, too, and it read six a.m. He sat up, until his feet hit the floor.
“Where are you going?” I barked.
“To make coffee,” he said, as his hand wrapped around the bedroom doorknob.
“No!” I yelled. Jumping up, I ran to the door and grabbed his arm. “I’m making the coffee.”
“I can make the coffee,” he said. “You should read your Bible more. I’m supposed to serve you in love.”
“Help meet,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Help meeeet!” I said, gently pulling his arm, until he caved in and crawled back in bed.
That is how I won.
We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, so I’ve been reflective about why we’re so happy.
I’d like to bottle that happiness and sell it to you, if it could only be that easy. Then your house could be mostly full of laughter and stolen kisses in the kitchen.
However, I have been able to pinpoint one biblical truth that has contributed to our marriage satisfaction, so here ya go.
Adam is given the job of naming all of the animals in Eden, and it soon becomes obvious that they all come in pairs of boy-girl, boy-girl, boy-girl. “But for Adam, there was not found a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:20b) So God made the woman to be a helper.
“Help meet” was the old word that I learned growing up, but “helper” is the word you find in the Bible now. It means helper.
Someone who helps.
Several months ago, I started making that man’s coffee and delivering it to him in bed. He is not a morning person, and I’m one of those annoyingly energetic morning people.
“Text me when you’re awake and ready for coffee,” I said.
“Coffee, mi amor?” he texts, because he knows I melt when he speaks Spanish.
I fix the coffee, fill his insulated mug, and deliver it to him in the dark bedroom. In a gravelly voice, he says, “Thank you.” I kiss him on the forehead and say, “Enjoy, my love.”
Then he can sip the hot coffee slowly, until he feels ready to face the world.
Except every once in a while I actually sleep as long as he does, and then we have to fight to see who makes the coffee. You can see how that goes.
What Wedded Bliss Looks Like
I have learned that I am most satisfied when I do as much as I can to be what God made me to be. I was created to help make my husband’s life easier, and when I help him, our happiness escalates.
A few days ago, Matt and I traded vehicles, because I needed to pick up something in his truck.
He had been sighing for a few weeks, every time he got in the truck. “I need to clean this,” he would say. “It’s filthy, and I’m embarrassed.” Shoulder slump. He was ashamed of how he had let his vehicle get so dirty, but he hadn’t had time to clean it.
So I cleaned it for him as a surprise.
Of course, I had to take a break for a coughing spell, after I accidentally raked the vacuum over the place where the bear spray had leaked a few weeks earlier. (Montana problems.) But girls, you should have seen the man’s face when he got in his truck the next day.
I eased his load. It wasn’t that hard –just took listening, thoughtfulness, and a little elbow grease.
Doesn’t seem like helping a man could make a woman very happy, but you should trust me. Every happy-hearted act of service will lay a brick of satisfaction in your marriage.
*What one thing could you do for your man today that would be of help to him?
Christy Fitzwater is a writer and pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She has a daughter who is married and a son in college. Christy writes to help people know God, and you can find her new book about becoming blameless on Amazon. Or follow her devotional blog at ChristyFitzwater. You can follow Christy on Instagram here!