No longer a little girl, but not quite a woman. Somewhere in between the two.
I could see there was so much going on in her heart and mind, and I desperately wanted her to let me in.
When she was very young, she used to chatter on about most anything that popped into her head. But I found that had slowly changed over time. She wasn’t quite so forthcoming and kept more to herself.
And it concerned me.
So I invited her for a walk one warm summer afternoon and told her that I hoped she’d always feel comfortable talking to me about her thoughts, fears, and dreams.
I waited to hear her response, but she stayed silent for the longest time as we continued walking side by side.
Finally, she said, “So ask me.”
Confused, I responded with, “Ask you what?”
And she replied, “Ask me anything.”
That’s when I realized that she had been waiting for me to ASK. That one powerful way of showing her that I cared was by asking interested, thoughtful questions.
So now I ask our daughters questions most every day. I wonder how they’re doing, what they’re thinking about, and how they’re feeling.
Because our girls need me to ask them about these things. They won’t necessarily volunteer what’s on their hearts and minds. They need me to ask, and they need me to care about their answers.
21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask
Maybe you don’t know what to ask your girl, or where to begin.
If so, here’s a list of questions you might ask that sweet girl of yours….
- What’s on your heart?
- What happened in your day today?
- Why did that make you cry?
- What do you dream about?
- What would you do if you could do anything you wanted?
- What kinds of things make you feel cared for?
- What is your favorite kind of food?
- What do you need from me?
- What makes you happy?
- What have you been thinking about lately?
- What did you like about that movie?
- Which kind of music makes you want to sing?
- What are those things that make you angry?
- What would you like to talk about?
- Where would you like to visit if you could go anywhere?
- What makes you afraid?
- What is your fondest memory?
- How does that (whatever the circumstance) make you feel?
- What makes you laugh?
- What sorts of things are important to you?
- Do you know how much I love you?
So go ahead. Ask her.
Start the conversation.
And cozy up and listen to her answers.
Grow close together. Very close.
In His grace,
Author of 100 Ways to Love Your Daughter
In case you missed it last week, we hope you’ll join us (Matt & Lisa) as we talk about how to reach a child’s heart with what he or she needs most. Are you giving this to your child? You’ll find we talk candidly on our FAITHFUL LIFE podcast about both our triumphs AND failures as parents, as well as offer help and encouragement on how to fill the heart of your child.
You can listen HERE or press “play” below!
You love your daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with her heart, and stick with her no matter what life throws her way.
This practical book by the authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife and 100 Ways to Love Your Husband gives you 100 specific, actionable ideas you can implement to show love to your daughter, no matter what age she is. The best part? The short, bite-sized readings make it easy to start right now!
Whether you felt a lack of love growing up and long to do things differently with your own kids or you feel like you’re constantly competing with the culture for your child’s attention, these books will help you show your daughter that you care, helping you forge a bond of love that lasts a lifetime.
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt and Lisa are also the co-hosts of the FAITHFUL LIFE podcast where they talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture.