She was only about 12 at the time.
No longer a little girl, but not quite a woman. Somewhere in between the two.
I could see there was so much going on in her heart and mind, and I desperately wanted her to let me in.
When she was very young, she used to chatter on about most anything that popped into her head. But I found that had slowly changed over time. She wasn’t quite so forthcoming and kept more to herself.
And it concerned me.
So I invited her for a walk one warm summer afternoon and told her that I hoped she’d always feel comfortable talking to me about her thoughts, fears, and dreams.
I waited to hear her response, but she stayed silent for the longest time as we continued walking side by side.
Finally, she said, “So ask me.”
Confused, I responded with, “Ask you what?”
And she replied, “Ask me anything.”
That’s when I realized that she had been waiting for me to ASK. That one powerful way of showing her that I cared was by asking interested, thoughtful questions.
So now I ask our daughters questions most every day. I wonder how they’re doing, what they’re thinking about, and how they’re feeling.
Because our girls need me to ask them about these things. They won’t necessarily volunteer what’s on their hearts and minds. They need me to ask, and they need me to care about their answers.
Your daughter probably needs you to ask her too.
21 Questions Your Daughter Really Needs You to Ask
Maybe you don’t know what to ask your girl, or where to begin.
If so, here’s a list of questions you might ask that sweet girl of yours….
- What’s on your heart?
- What happened in your day today?
- Why did that make you cry?
- What do you dream about?
- What would you do if you could do anything you wanted?
- What kinds of things make you feel cared for?
- What is your favorite kind of food?
- What do you need from me?
- What makes you happy?
- What have you been thinking about lately?
- What did you like about that movie?
- Which kind of music makes you want to sing?
- What are those things that make you angry?
- What would you like to talk about?
- Where would you like to visit if you could go anywhere?
- What makes you afraid?
- What is your fondest memory?
- How does that (whatever the circumstance) make you feel?
- What makes you laugh?
- What sorts of things are important to you?
- Do you know how much I love you?
So go ahead. Ask her.
Start the conversation.
And cozy up and listen to her answers.
Grow close together. Very close.
In His grace,
Author of 100 Ways to Love Your Daughter
You love your daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with her heart, and stick with her no matter what life throws her way.
This practical book by the authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife and 100 Ways to Love Your Husband gives you 100 specific, actionable ideas you can implement to show love to your daughter, no matter what age she is. The best part? The short, bite-sized readings make it easy to start right now!
Whether you felt a lack of love growing up and long to do things differently with your own kids or you feel like you’re constantly competing with the culture for your child’s attention, these books will help you show your daughter that you care, helping you forge a bond of love that lasts a lifetime.
100 Ways to Love to Your Son/Daughter
You love your son and daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with their hearts, and stick with them no matter what life throws their way.
These practical books by the authors of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife and 100 Ways to Love Your Husband give you 100 specific, actionable ideas you can implement to show love to your children, no matter what age they are.
The best part? The short, bite-sized readings make it easy to start right now!