The Gift of Daughters: A Mother’s Mission in a Changing World {Book Review!}
The gift of daughters brings joy, challenges, and deep responsibility – guiding them in faith and strength amid our treacherous world.
“This just might be the most important conversation you ever have
with that girl you love so much.” Sandra Stanley
Pink Bundles
I learned a lot from the birth of my son, who was almost born in our car. Most importantly, I learned NOT to go home when the labor and delivery nurses declare “false labor.” History almost repeated itself when I arrived at the hospital the morning our first daughter was born. A quick check revealed I was only dilated 1 ½ centimeters. The sweet nurses looked at me sympathetically as they gently explained the differences between false and real labor. I refused to leave without seeing my doctor, which was fortunate because my daughter was born within an hour of our arrival.
At some point I must have agreed to allow about a dozen students from the college nursing program to observe. It may have been a simple nod while breathing in the brown paper bag after my oxygen levels dropped from the intensity and speed of labor, or possibly while screaming that I needed something for the pain, sure the nurses hadn’t really put Demerol in my IV. Once my daughter arrived the doctor handed her to the nursing students who were commenting about her full head of hair, huge eyes, rosebud lips, and lovely skin. I understood their admiration, but in that moment, I instantly felt the need to hold and protect my beloved baby girl.
Aly Hope was the first girl born in the Szymczak family in 64 years. Although my husband feared he wouldn’t know what to do with a girl, his fatherly instinct quickly took over. His love for her was immediately fierce and gentle, protective and proud. When our second daughter, Jessi Grace, arrived a few years later we were instantly grateful for the opportunity to raise another daughter. And through a series of unexpected events that led to adoption we later became parents of three more daughters.
Five daughters!
Five unique personalities and giftings. Five reasons to be proactive about teaching truth, and intentional about modeling a counter-cultural lifestyle for the glory of the One who created them. Oh, and five future weddings!
Anyone who has ever been given a bundle wrapped in pink or blue knows the fierce emotions that come with that gift. You treasure every little detail of their appearance, recognizing eyes and chins, dimples and lips from past generations. But with that bundle comes a great weight of responsibility, especially if that bundle comes wrapped in pink.
The pink bundles grow up in a world that tries to define them superficially. They are surrounded by voices that tell them they are “less than.” Their beauty is judged against air-brushed models, and their bodies are topics of conversation in locker rooms. Their value is constantly challenged. The pressure to be the world’s version of perfect is always before them.
Privilege and Responsibility
As their parents, we are not only responsible for their physical well-being but also to train them to know the One who created them, to be strong and confident, yet humble and gentle. To love well without compromising convictions. To write God’s Word in their hearts, yet never use it as a weapon. We just teach them to appreciate the beauty of the people and world God created, but not worship them. To have compassion for the lost, yet brave enough to speak truth and light into darkness. To seek justice, extend mercy and walk humbly with the Lord. We have hopes and dreams for their futures, but nothing compares to our desire to see them know, love and walk closely with the Lord.
When I read Meet Me In the Middle by Sandra Stanley and Allie Stanley Cooney, I realized I was holding a gem! I’m often asked to recommend resources for mothers raising daughters, and daughters living in a world that pulls them in every direction except nearer to Jesus Christ. I’ve read several helpful books on this topic, but this one exceeded ALL my expectations!
Meet Me In The Middle: 8 Mother-Daughter Conversations about Life and Faith is divided between chapters specifically written by Sandra for moms and similar chapters written by Allie for pre-teen/ teen daughters. In the middle of the book (hence the title) are 8 discussions and activities for mothers and daughters to do together. The chapter topics are built on the rich truths and applications found in Philippians 4:4-9.
Here are six reasons I love this book and will recommend it to every mom who asks for a great resource for mothers and daughters.
- It stresses the importance of intentional time with God. This includes prioritizing time to read His Word, speak with Him, reflect on His goodness and presence in our lives, and apply His Word through obedience. We cannot love a God we do not know. And we cannot know God without spending time with Him. The authors break this process into three categories: learn, pray and apply. These are the essential building blocks for genuine faith.
- It’s saturated in Scripture. Because Sandra and Allie emphasize the importance of knowing and obeying Scripture, every issue addressed is filtered through the lens of God’s Word. These relevant topics for both moms and teens include struggles with identity, comparison, relationships, fears, thoughts, and conflicts. They encourage their readers to contradict error with truth by emphasizing the trustworthiness of God’s Word.
- It discusses the importance of family. Loyalty and appreciation for family is something my husband and I have prioritized with our children. Their friends will come and go, but family is forever. I haven’t read many books affirming this to adolescents. So, it was refreshing to see the authors focus on God’s unique design of the family unit. The authors encourage mothers and daughters to be generous with gratitude, forgiving and gentle with family members.
- It’s future-focused. There are a lot of great quotes in this book. But one I think is essential for all women (young or old) to guide our decision-making process is this one. “Don’t trade what you want most for what you want in the moment.” Sometimes how we feel in the moment can lead to poor choices and hard consequences. Allie has written a wonderful list of 20 Rules for High School to help our daughters proactively plan to choose wisdom over temporal feelings. It’s so good that I sent it to all my daughters, even those who are well past high school!
- It’s easy and enjoyable to read. I admit I’ve “forced” my daughters to read books over the years. Books that held some great truths but were challenging to read and my daughters saw them more as homework than enjoyment. This book is different. It combines humorous stories with rich Biblical wisdom. It’s relatable and easy to read, but not lacking in depth of countless treasures found in God’s Word.
- The Meet Me in the Middle Discussions and Exercises are original, thought-provoking and sure to produce great dialogue. I’m planning to read and do these activities with my 15-year-old daughter, and I’m sending this book to my adult daughters. I would have loved to have this resource available while I was raising them, but it’s not too late! The conversation starters, activities and applications are timeless.
Raising daughters in a world of smartphones and falsehood is challenging. But it’s also an incredible honor that God has entrusted to us. Meet Me In the Middle is a great tool to equip moms and daughters while they navigate the challenges of being in this world but not of it.
I am incredibly grateful for this new resource. I give it Five Stars and will not hesitate to recommend it!
Happy reading, friends!
Brenda Szymczak
Christian Blogger & Co-Founder womenoftheway.online
About the authors of the book
Sandra Stanley received her bachelor of science degree from Georgia Tech and master of arts from Dallas Theological Seminary. Sandra has a heart for foster kids and foster families, as she and Andy have been foster parents since 2010. Her ministry passion is promoting foster care in the local church. Much of her time these days is spent working on various writing projects and continuing her involvement with Fostering Together, the foster care initiative of North Point Ministries. You can find her on Instagram at @sandrawstanley and on Facebook here.
Allie Stanley Cooney graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Communication. She completed the North Point Residency program and simultaneously earned a Masters of Christian Education degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. Allie is on staff at North Point Community Church and serves as the High School Production Director. Allie has a heart for middle school and high school students and can often be spotted at any number of local coffee shops pouring into girls in those seasons of life. Allie also communicates on Instagram at @alliekaycooney and on Facebook here.
Club31Women thanks Zondervan, a division of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, for their partnership in today’s review of Meet Me in the Middle: 8 Mother-Daughter Conversations about Life and Faith. This is a sponsored post, but please know that the content and opinions expressed here are entirely our own. (See our full disclosure here.)
