He was a young man by then. Seventeen. Nearly grown and gone.
And at the time his mountain bike was a big part of his world. He had built it himself, piece by piece, and was anxious to take it over to the bike shop to get the necessary repairs.
Realizing this, I had put it on a long list of other errands I needed to run. That week was so busy that my head was spinning, so you can imagine the relief when my husband offered to go into town for me. Yes, please! And, I’ll love you forever.
But I saw our son’s face fall. Disappointment clear across his countenance. Not understanding, I reassured him that his dad would drop off the bike too and all would be well.
And then this came out of his mouth. Out of his heart. “But Mom, I was really looking forward to spending the time with you.”
Oh.
He doesn’t simply need a ride to the cycle shop. He’s not merely looking to have his bike repaired. He wants a relationship with me. His mom. Even at seventeen. A relationship that began from a very young age.
Surprising.
That a son – nearly grown and gone – would want to hang out with his mom. But that’s how our friendship began, by simply spending time together.
Now in case you haven’t experienced it yet? The years slip by faster than you think they will. The next thing you know that little boy – or little girl – is all grown up. Just like this. So don’t wait. Spend time together.
25 Special Ways to Spend Time With Your Child
1. Fix a cup of tea
2. Drive up to the lake
3. Find a fun playground
4. Play a board game
5. Go for a drive
6. Stroll along the river
7. Share a bowl of popcorn
8. Work on a craft together
9. Ski down the mountain
10. Go out for an ice-cream cone
11. Watch an old – or new – movie
12. Head over to the library
13. Dip into some frozen yogurt
14. Attend a music concert
15. Head up for a hike
16. Sip on a cup of hot chocolate
17. Cheer together at a sports game
18. Take a walk in the park
19. Sneak out for some breakfast
20. Go window shopping
21. Plan a special trip somewhere
22. Put together a picnic
23. Bake something yummy in the kitchen
24. Build a project – just the two of you
25. Curl up in a quiet corner to talk and laugh
Take the time now. Before they are truly grown and gone.
Because what do your children really want? They want a relationship with you.
In His grace,
Lisa
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knoblochcrew says
May 20, 2014 at 8:53 pmI followed this link from your “raising heavenly minded children” series. My husband and I have done a pretty good job at taking our oldest two (7 & 5) on regular dates. (The younger two will join them soon!). The one obstacle we run into is when it comes time for someone’s date, it is hard (esp for the 5 year old) to understand why they are not included. Even if we explain that his date is coming up soon, he seems so sad about not going along on his sister’s date. :(. He gets over it pretty quickly, but I always feel so bad! For what it’s worth, we also do “big kid dates” regularly in which both of the older two go on a “double date” with mom & dad – so he isn’t always being left behind. Any tips? We just had our fourth a few months ago, and I’m already seeing how my time with each of them is going to be stretched.
Lisa Jacobson says
May 20, 2014 at 9:01 pmGood question – and common problem. I like to encourage our young ones to start thinking of others too, and grow in learning to “rejoice with those who rejoice”. In other words, I want them to (eventually and gently) get so that they’re happy for others who get to enjoy the blessing. Not easy for a 5-year-old to understand, but they can get there over time. We’re still working on it over here, but I think we’re getting better! 🙂 And congratulations on your new baby!
Karina León Gilbert says
February 5, 2014 at 9:40 pmThank you very much for the encouragement! I’m spending couple weeks with my parents after 5 years. These days are challenging, some moments, my mom, dad, and/or sister are talking to me, then my husband and kids, all at the same time. God is giving me the peace and patient that obviously don’t carry on my own to be awake enough to give everybody a nice answer with the best smile I can, instead of being just old me and run away screaming 😀 Don’t misunderstand me it’s not I don’t feel like getting crazy in some moments. It’s just that the continuing chatting on my head with the Lord is “helping me” to have a nice”super busy” and enjoyable time with the people I love the must!!! Thanks a lot Lisa!!!
Lisa Jacobson says
February 10, 2014 at 10:55 amI think I know that “crazy” feeling you’re talking about, Karina. Sometimes my ears just ring with all the noise around here! 🙂 I’m so glad God is giving you that unexplainable peace in such a situation.
doug and candace bishop says
February 5, 2014 at 9:50 amThanks so much for sharing these wonderful, heart-felt words, Lisa. My son is four and he is so precious. I’m a very task-oriented woman (always have been) so it is a constant effort to remember to STOP and focus on him, even if that only means playing a game together or building a “castle,” which he proceeds to knock down almost as soon as it is built! UGH! 😉 I was counselled recently to plan to do my tasks in the same room as he is playing so that at least we can interact frequently, and I don’t feel so frustrated because I’m not getting things done, or exhausted because I have to put them off until he is asleep at night. It seems to be working well for both of us.
My greatest challenge is actually attempting to introduce my son to a relationship with Christ. I hope he sees that in my life, and I try to be aware of “teachable moments” too. Thanks for being an encouragement in sharing your life and what you are learning too.
Lisa says
February 5, 2014 at 12:12 pmI can relate, Candace, as I’m something of a task-oriented mama myself. I’ve had to retrain myself to think in terms of priorities – even when spending time with my child doesn’t feel like I’m accomplishing much (sounds terrible, I know!). Seeing the results, however, of years of those little moments adding up to a close relationship with my teens have confirmed its incredible value.
Your approach to introducing your son to Christ sounds like a very good one to me! By God’s grace, each one of our children have followed Christ and it was through the same ways that you’re describing here. The Lord bless you!
Lisa Jacobson says
February 10, 2014 at 10:50 amI can relate, Candace, as I’m something of a task-oriented mama myself. I’ve had to retrain myself to think in terms of priorities – even when spending time with my child doesn’t feel like I’m accomplishing much (sounds terrible, I know!). Seeing the results, however, of years of those little moments adding up to a close relationship with my teens have confirmed its incredible value.
Your approach to introducing your son to Christ sounds like a very good one to me! By God’s grace, each one of our children have followed Christ and it was through the same ways that you’re describing here. The Lord bless you!
Elissa Philgence says
February 4, 2014 at 9:31 amBeautiful. i pray and work hard for those day now.
My children are very young and i know that the time will go by fasting than i care to image. That is why I pray and work hard to spent all the time I can with them. That is why I homeschool when I feel like giving up. That is why I play games with them and make houses, over and over again, out of cardboard boxes when I have clothes to wash and dishes to clean.
Thank you for the gentle reminder. Only time will tell if I have done enough.
Blessings.
Lisa says
February 5, 2014 at 2:44 pmI am confident that you are doing more than enough, Elissa. Because I see now that it really doesn’t take all that much – just a little love, time, and attention. When I ask my grown kids what they remember from those young days? They remember things just like that: playing games and cardboard boxes. They have no memory of laundry or messy kitchens. Isn’t that good to know? (I’d always wondered what they’d take with them 😉
Blessings on you and your little ones!
Lisa Jacobson says
February 10, 2014 at 10:50 amI am confident that you are doing more than enough, Elissa. Because I see now that it really doesn’t take all that much – just a little love, time, and attention. When I ask my grown kids what they remember from those young days? They remember things just like that: playing games and cardboard boxes. They have no memory of laundry or messy kitchens. Isn’t that good to know? (I’d always wondered what they’d take with them
Blessings on you and your little ones!
Carey says
February 4, 2014 at 7:37 am:'( my boys are still small and it breaks my heart whenever I hear them say “but mommy I just want to do something with you” I’m trying my best to spend that one on one time with them no matter how tired or overwhelmed I am. Thank you for the encouragement.
Lisa says
February 5, 2014 at 2:49 pmIt IS very tiring when they are so small! So much giving and they have no idea of all that you have on your plate, do they. Sometimes I was simply too tired to read them a story when they wanted it, but other times I made myself do it anyway – and asked the Lord to give me the strength. I’m glad you’ve been encouraged here – something we all need now and then, don’t you think? Keep up that wonderful ministry with your little boys!
Lisa Jacobson says
February 10, 2014 at 10:49 amIt IS very tiring when they are so small! So much giving and they have no idea of all that you have on your plate, do they. Sometimes I was simply too tired to read them a story when they wanted it, but other times I made myself do it anyway – and asked the Lord to give me the strength. I’m glad you’ve been encouraged here – something we all need now and then, don’t you think? Keep up that wonderful ministry with your little boys!