Sometimes those men do little things that drive us nuts, like hanging the towel up with the tag showing.
You know, important stuff on which the world turns.
I recently wrote about this topic, but one reader said maybe us girls do stuff that drive our guys insane as well.
And we thought we were so Mary Poppin-ish –practically perfect in every way.
Let’s say it out loud, though. Shall we?
We do have our own little habits or lack of habits that get under the skin of our husbands.
What if we were to stop that annoying habit or work to create a new habit, all for the sake of peace?
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18 ESV)
That begs the question –is it possible for you to stop annoying the daylights out of your man?
Here are some actions I’ve taken (or am in the process of taking), for the love of my blessed husband:
- Close that bathroom door. How hard is it? he wonders. (Seems awfully time-consuming to me, but I’m working on it.)
- Close the shed door.
- Close the garage door. (Hmmm, a recurring theme.)
- Stack the dishes. The gracious man doesn’t even care if I wash them, but could they at least not be spread out like playing cards on every inch of counter?
- Don’t make him open his birthday presents in front of everyone at the party. He hates the attention focused on him. (So hard to understand. I love, love, love the attention. Look at me, everyone! Look at me!)
- Say goodnight before I go to bed, even if we’ve had a tiff. He so hates it when I slink off pouty for the night.
- Save the question until after the sports highlights. (What was I thinking?)
- Put Miracle Whip on both pieces of bread.
Let me tell you a story of something that just happened at our house.
I happened to see my man gather up my nasty hair rodent from the shower drain before he stepped into the shower.
I said, Oh, sorry. Gross!
He said, It’s okay. I’ve been pulling your hair out of the drain every day for 22 years.
What? Eeeeeuuuuuw.
And he has never complained or said a word about it all these years.
But come on, that had to have made him crazy those first 10 or 17 years, eh? He could have made a legitimate complaint about it, but he peacefully just took care of the hair and kept his mouth shut.
What a humble kindness.
So I am returning the favor, and since the day I discovered the hair thing, I’ve been making sure to stop and clean that out before I leave the bathroom.
Small, thoughtful acts of service mean a lot when we stack them up high for each other day after day.
I bet anything you could list your habits that rub your man raw, like the feeling when you get hair in your shirt after a haircut. Couldn’t you pick one of those things habits and change it for good?
As I write this, I have just realized I left the shed door open…again. I’ll go take care of my thing if you’ll do something about yours.
Feel the peace, sister.
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Blameless: Now available
We’re so excited to announce the new release of Christy Fitzwater’s book, Blameless: Living A Life Free From Guilt and Shame with Foreword by Lisa Jacobson of Club31Women!
I’ve read hundreds of books in my life, many of them very good. But few have made me laugh so much, given me so much hope, and made me so eager to share its pages with my friends. ~ Elisabeth
Blameless is now available in both print and digital form (click links below):
Christy Fitzwater
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Women Abiding says
November 22, 2013 at 3:45 amOh Wow! Now there’s a challenge! 🙂
Thanks, first of all, Christy, for being so honest, open, vulnerable, (and funny!) about your own personal habits.
With my beloved man, I think it’s more issues like for me not to share family secrets with every Tom, Dick and Harry (they have the right to know our family secrets, don’t they? I guess not if my hubby prefers them not to!).
And, to spend less time on the computer when my children have officially started World War 3 in the next room (Come on… surely I need to leave them to learn to work things out themselves – Club31Women posts call my name….)… you get the idea!
🙂
Seriously, though, you’ve given me a lot to think about, and I’m excited to make some real changes around here – starting with MOI! xxx
Nena Holt says
November 21, 2013 at 10:41 amI love this because I feel it is so true. I have really started talking to myself when I see the towel hung up haphazardly and say things like; be grateful it’s on the rack and not on the floor like the socks and underwear!! LOL but my question is this…what if your husband never tells you what he wants or what you do that annoys him? My husband will not tell me but then after a long period of time he will get moody or mad over something. I never know what it is that I am doing to irrate him because of this passive agressive behavior but I REALLY do want to know because you can bet I would quit doing it. We’ve been married for over 26 years and it’s really bothering me and when I say anything to try to find out he says you’re great! Even I know that isn’t true (well I am great) but we all have habits that annoy other people.
Lisa Jacobson says
November 21, 2013 at 8:08 pmI’ve found that often men won’t or just don’t know what it is that annoys him. You (speaking generally now, not you in particular 🙂 have to study them and watch when they “flinch” or when they seem somewhat pleased. It’s a more difficult route, to be sure, but it’s one way to go about it?
Christy Fitzwater says
November 22, 2013 at 2:41 amIf he won’t tell you, then I would ask the Lord to. I know if you ask God to reveal ways you can love your man better, he will.
Mel S says
November 22, 2013 at 9:52 amI’m in the same situation as Nena Holt. I know I’m perfect, and whenever I ask if there’s something I can change or do differently, he just says I’m perfect, wonderful, and amazing. Considering he’s refusing to pursue having children at this time due to our marital issues, I’m pretty sure I’m not that perfect, wonderful, or amazing after all. He is also very passive aggressive and it’s so maddening and exhausting to never know what he thinks or feels about ANYTHING. Leaves me feeling very excluded and at a loss of what to do.
Aurora Sofia says
November 21, 2013 at 9:37 amI understand talking during Sport Center Headlines. I have no idea how he can listen to all that stuff without getting bored like I do. Mister hangs up his towel and fusses when I don’t. But, his biggest complaints are me placing things on his bedside table and washing the clothes that he piles in the floor. (In his mind, his clothes are not considered dirty unless he’s worn them for several hours.)
May Heaven help me to remember not to do those things. I do have a lot to work on!
Lisa Jacobson says
November 21, 2013 at 8:09 pmI’m thinking most of do, Aurora! 🙂
Christy Fitzwater says
November 22, 2013 at 2:43 amThat makes me laugh -sometimes we annoy our men by our efficiency and taking care of things they wish we wouldn’t take care of. I can’t think of anything that will take more self-control than leaving that pile by the bed!
photomomma6 says
November 21, 2013 at 8:50 amWait, men actually hang up the towel? Obviously you have no idea how good you have it with that husband! I have a visionary husband, and although he’s added a few tricks to his bag over the years, he never changes because his mind is running 80 miles an hour ALL the time. There’s no getting him on even a slight dose of anything to help with focus, so it’s been a long 13 year’s! I live him dearly, but he wears me out!
Lisa Jacobson says
November 21, 2013 at 8:10 pmMine is something of a Visionary too, so I know what you mean by 80 miles an hour! It can be exhausting. But I also remind myself that it’s interesting and often exciting. 😉
Christy Fitzwater says
November 22, 2013 at 2:45 amOh boy, I must confess I have an 80-mile-an-hour brain just like your man. We wear ourselves out, too.
Leticia Warwick Justus says
November 21, 2013 at 7:02 amgood to remember Marriage is a two way street ! Great article !
Christy Fitzwater says
November 22, 2013 at 2:46 amYes, sometimes it’s easy to only see their faults and not our own. Thanks for the kind words.
Suzanne @ Just Another Girl says
November 21, 2013 at 6:59 amInteresting, and very logical! Now I’m thinking up a storm about what I do and what I can do differently.
Christy Fitzwater says
November 22, 2013 at 2:47 amIt’s joyful work to think hard about how to please our husbands.