Is There True Freedom and Healing for a Marriage Wounded by Sexual Sin?

Does your marriage feel trapped by sexual sin? Are you afraid you will never experience the freedom you and your spouse are seeking?

It began so subtly and slowly that the distance in his eyes caught her off guard when they said goodbye heading their separate ways to work Monday morning. What had changed? And when did this happen?

She couldn’t quite put her finger on “it,” but the truth was unmistakable. The troubled places in her heart were never wrong and this morning confirmed it: There was something deeply serious brewing between them.

Was she the problem? Was there something she wasn’t doing?

“Maybe I need to make myself more available to him at night,” she told herself. But regardless of her efforts and more sex that followed, a coldness at the deep, relational level only increased as a quiet desperation began to grip her heart.

He knew there was a problem, too.

When he said, “I do” on their wedding day, it never entered his mind that pornography would grip his interest and pull him in with all the force of a giant harpoon through his chest. He hated it, and he hated himself for it. He was dirty, destructive, deceitful, and he knew it—although he kept telling himself, “This is the last time.” But he didn’t change.

Why was the self-loathing and the pain he knew he was bringing into his wife’s heart never enough to make him say, “NO!”?

Is This Biblical Christian Living?

In many different ways, the above scenario is played out in Christian homes everywhere throughout the Church, from pastors right on down to the newlywed couple – not to mention the struggling singles.  And it goes both ways. No longer just “every man’s battle,” increasingly, women indicate they are struggling with porn, too.

Pornography has become so rampant in the Church that many have begun to see it as the normal, inevitable reality for most Christian marriages but is this biblical Christian living? There is a truth on display in this common reality – a truth we’d do well to remember:

If You Believe Wrong, You’ll Never Live Strong.

If you, or someone you know, has “settled” and is just “living with it” because of losing the battle against temptation too many times, there is a reason. But it’s not about the power of temptation. It’s about the weakness of your understanding. The baseline issue: You’re believing something that is wrong and living accordingly.

Many Christians have replaced what is common for what is normal in a Christian marriage – a massive error. There’s nothing normal about pornography or any sexual sin (including wandering eyes and a sexual thought-life no one sees in a Christian marriage). It’s common, but it’s not normal.

For the biblical Christian, what is normal is what the Word of God declares as normal. And God, through His Word, has been crystal clear on the amount of porn and sexual sin he identifies as tolerable in the life of a believer: Zero.

Ephesians 5:3 says, regarding sexual sins of all kinds among Christians, “Let them not once be named among you.” Not 50%, 10%, or 1%  of the time but never. Not even once.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 says that God’s will for His people is “ . . . that you abstain from fornication (sexual immorality).” To abstain is to restrain oneself and never engage – never to be involved at any level.

A Way of Escape

Countless Christian men believe that walking in total victory in sexual purity isn’t even possible.

Incredibly, many have learned this falsehood from well-meaning Christians who don’t rightly understand the Word (If you believe wrong, you’ll never live strong!).

As God’s people, let’s keep something clear in our understanding: Jesus didn’t do a partial work of redemption on the Cross. He did a complete – a finished – work. The reason any man can walk in the power of the spirit in purity and victory over porn and sexual sin is because God, by the Holy Spirit, through the apostle Paul, says he can, and God is not a liar.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we read, No temptation has taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able to withstand; but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

You’re never in a corner. You’re never a victim. You’ve never got your back to the wall because God says he won’t allow it. There’s always a way of escape. That’s the truth, and that is why no Christian is destined to fail against sexual temptation.

Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin

Are you having trouble walking in the victory won for you at the Cross of Jesus Christ? Perhaps you know someone (or you’re married to someone) who is struggling in this area but genuinely wants to discover God’s path to real, lasting triumph? Then, there is real, practical help available.

Please consider my FREEDOM Course – a new, powerful course you take online at your own pace that teaches men the true path to total victory over porn and sexual sin. The course is for married and single men 18 and up (minors welcome to with parent’s permission).

In 8 sessions (9 videos), you’ll learn:

1. Why you’re failing and how to win against sexual sin, starting today
2. Your true source of power in the midst of temptation
3. How to say “NO!” to porn/sexual sin every time
4. How to stay vigilant against the deceit of the Enemy
5. You are not weak. You are strong!
6. How to recognize the lies of the Enemy
7. Your true identity as a spiritual warrior in Jesus Christ

*The FREEDOM Course also includes a workbook that you can read after each session or read another time, at your own pace.

I want to personally invite you or anyone you may know to sign up for my engaging, biblical course where men like Archie found true hope, healing, and complete victory to walk in purity, integrity, and strength in the face of temptation’s battle. Here’s what he experienced after taking the course:

“This course has changed my life. If you have ever engaged in pornography or any sexual sin, I’m here to tell you there is FREEDOM to be found here. I thought I was always going to struggle with porn and the lust of the flesh. If you have ever thought that, I say this with tears in my eyes and a happy heart, that you don’t have to live that way any longer…and through this course, you won’t! Bold, I know, but If you believe in the redemptive Power of Christ, believe that HE transforms lives through this course.” ~ Archie

Join the Freedom Team!

Archie’s story is the same as countless men who have taken the Freedom Course. And, perhaps the best part is after you’ve completed the course, you’re invited to join FREEDOM TEAM – a live weekly meeting with me and the other alumni of the course where I answer your questions and we encourage, exhort, hold each other accountable, and pray together.

If you’re interested in learning more about FREEDOM Course and discovering God’s path to the normal, triumphant Christian life, completely free from sexual sin, I encourage you to go to Freedom-Course.com and —> sign up HERE today!

*BONUS: Matt (my husband 🙂 is offering those of us at Club31Women a limited-time discount of 10% off his course. Just use the code CLUB31 when checking out!

**A Wife’s Testimony

I can’t tell you how encouraging and exciting it is to see the many lives healed from sexual sin over the years my husband Matt has been teaching this Freedom course. Not a week goes by that we don’t hear a deeply touching testimony from a man – or from his wife – how beautifully different his life and marriage are since taking the course.

And these testimonies aren’t only from those who recently finished the course, but from men who first went through it many years ago and who continue to walk in victory. Not because Matt is so special (he’d be the first to say that!), but because the truth in God’s Word is powerfully effective. Our God is a Redeemer, and He is more than able! 

~ Lisa Jacobson