Five Heart Changes to Bring Peace to Your Home for the Holidays
Discover how true peace in your home begins with a peaceful heart. Explore five meaningful ways to bring God’s love, joy, and calm to your holiday season.
I’ll never forget the very first time we hosted my in-laws for dinner. It was 1998 and they were visiting us at our new, very tiny apartment soon after my husband and I were married. I had limited cooking skills but was determined to make a meal that would prove that I was embracing my new role as wife to their son.
Mashed potatoes seemed easy enough as a side dish but instead of putting the peeled skins into the garbage I shoved them into the disposal. I can hear some of you gasping already because you know how this turned out. My sweet new husband and his dad spent the rest of the evening taking apart the pipes underneath the kitchen sink to pull potato skins out. Needless to say, this was not how I envisioned my first experience as a hostess.
It’s been almost thirty years since that evening, and I’ve come a long way since those early days. While there have been more mishaps, messes and even tears, I have learned so much about what really matters when it comes to hosting people in my home. And these lessons have proven to be even more critical when it comes to the holiday season.
At their core, they all have far more to do with the condition of my heart than the condition of my home. What used to be incredibly stressful occasions have now become everything I always dreamed they would be. But it’s only because I set about weeding from my heart all that was preventing me from experiencing the joy and peace found when we align our lives to God’s design which is always for our flourishing.
The peace we long for in our home begins with our hearts. If you want your home to feel more peaceful during the upcoming holiday season, here are five things to consider that will make that not only possible but predictable.
- Contentment: The temptation to buy new things for our homes is never greater than when we enter into the ‘ber’ months. New colors, patterns and styles fill the shelves of stores from the time back-to-school season begins until the end of the year. We’re easily convinced that we must follow the latest trends and that everything we used last year is outdated. The reality is that you don’t need more stuff.
And, in fact, the more we purchase new things the less likely we are to get creative with what we already have. As you prepare your home for the holidays, pray that the Lord will give you a heart of contentment. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Phil 4:11-12) - Orderliness: God created an orderly world and, since we are created in His image, we are wired to thrive when we live ordered lives. If you have yet to recognize that your emotional wellbeing is directly connected to how you order your life and home then there’s never been a better time to start. While it can be tempting to think that only certain personalities or dispositions prefer order, we know that planning and organization have a direct correlation to the peacefulness of any event.
If you tend to be a ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ person it’s important to recognize that while this character trait might be good in some circumstances, it’s not as helpful in others. Whether or not you are hosting this season, ask God to reveal to you any hinderances in your heart that will keep you from being focused and intentional in your preparations. - Imperfection: While we are created in His image, we are also fallen humans who will never be perfect on this earth. For the woman who finds herself having more in common with Martha as she was so focused on her preparations that she was missing out on spending time with Jesus, the desire to have everything perfect during the holidays can feel often feel overwhelming. It adds unnecessary stress for you and your family.
Striving for perfection will also rob you of joy and lead to regret. If this is an area of struggle for you, remember that the only perfection to be found is in Him and the peace He offers when we hold loosely to the things of this world. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3) - Traditions: Holidays and traditions are practically synonymous. And I have absolutely loved instilling in my children the importance of these things we do every year which have created cherished memories. But as we are on the precipice of launching our kids out into the world, I know that I must be willing to make adjustments.
One of the biggest areas of holiday conflicts for families is a resistance to change. “But we’ve always done it this way!” is a common refrain. When we focus more on the traditions than we do on the needs of the people we love, we have misplaced our priorities. This year, spend some time really thinking about your ‘why’ and ask the Lord to soften your heart towards change. You may just be surprised by how much you enjoy trying something new! - Hospitality: Some of us may find the idea of opening up our homes an easier proposition than others but all of us are called to hospitality. This does not mean we need to provide five course meals and have a large, perfectly decorated home. A hospitable heart is one that focuses on being welcoming and gracious in all environments, including but not limited to your home. If the thought of hosting during the holiday season feels overwhelming, I’d encourage you to spend some time thinking and praying about why that is. Maybe it’s one of the previously mentioned heart changes that are needed.
Or maybe it’s just that you need this gentle reminder: “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 4:9-11)
As we enter this season of giving, remember that the best gift is the one freely given to us by the Lord in the form of His Son, Jesus Christ. And He is the ultimate source of peace in our hearts and in our homes.
