It seems far off, but that special day will be here before you know it. What will you tell your daughter before she becomes a bride?
One hundred things.
So much I want to share with her. So many things that I want her to know.
But what do I say? And where to begin? I thought we had so much time and now here she is – no longer a child, but a lovely young woman. And it feels like it all happened so fast. How do I tell her everything she should know before that special day?
When she’s no longer my little girl, but some young man’s beautiful bride.
So, Dear Girl, let me begin to share those One Hundred Things…
1. Always choose love. Above all things. I Corinthians 13
2. Give him all your heart. Not only a part of it.
3. Laugh together. For the rest of your lives.
4. Forgive. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” ` Ruth Bell Graham
5. And forget. Once it’s been forgiven, put it behind you and never pick it back up again.
6. Cling to each other in the hard times. Don’t let trials pull you apart, but bring you closer together instead.
7. Don’t let fear hold you back. Take risks and step out together.
8. Kiss him on the lips. Every day. For a long time.
9. Don’t try to change him. He’s a good man just as he is. He might have room to grow – but then again, so do you. Leave that work to the Holy Spirit.
10. Pray for him. Make it your daily ministry to lift him up before your Heavenly Father. He needs a praying wife.
11. Hold hands. When you’re walking together, when you’re driving together, and sometimes simply grab his hand for no reason.
12. Confide in him. Share with him your thoughts, your dreams, your fears, and your hopes. Never keep anything from each other.
13. Don’t be surprised when faced with a trial. It’s not something to tip-toe around, but something to walk through. So walk through it together.
14. Be quick to admit when wrong. Don’t waste a minute holding on to your pride.
15. Look for little ways to delight him. Be mindful of those small preferences of his.
16. Greet him with a loving smile. Who wouldn’t love coming home to that every night?
17. Allow him to make mistakes. Don’t hold it against him. “Everyone makes mistakes” applies to husbands too.
18. Protect your marriage. Set up safeguards together to keep things and people from harming what you’ve got.
19. Never leave off with the romance. It might not be the foundation of your love, but it sure makes for good glue.
20. Be sweet to him. He’ll always be glad for a little of that.
21. Care about your appearance. Not out of vanity, but in making an effort to put forth your best.
22. Speak well of him to others. Never put him down or make a slight.
23. Be trustworthy. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her” (Prov.31:11).
24. Give grace. He’ll need you to extend him grace from time to time. Don’t we all need that?
25. Seek to be servant-hearted. Take pleasure in serving him. “By love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13).
26. Be filled with joy. “It is His joy that remains in us that makes our joy full” ~ A.B. Simpson
27. Be a wise woman. “She opens her mouth with wisdom” (Prov. 31:26a).
28. And speak kindness. “…and on her tongue is the law of kindness” (Prov. 31:26b).
29. Let the little things go. Don’t hang on to small annoyances.
30. Work through the big things. Take the time to talk those through.
31. Don’t go to bed angry. Ephesians 4:26
32. Be honest. It’s important to speak the truth – in love – to him. Always.
33. Throw a little surprise in there. Every-once-in-a-while. Just for fun.
34. Enjoy the man he is. Don’t compare him to anyone else.
35. Be strong for him. “Strength and honor are her clothing” (Prov. 31:25)
36. Let him know when you’re feeling weak. Sometimes he might need to be reminded that, even still, you’re the weaker vessel.
37. Put your hope in the Lord. Psalm 71:5
38. Be willing to listen. Be quick to hear.James 1:9
39. Make his love your priority. Even above your children.
40. Give yourself room to grow. Love is not perfect – it’s just loving.
41. Remember he’s not your girlfriend. He won’t always understand or relate, so don’t have unreasonable expectations.
42. But be sure he’s your best-friend. Invest in your friendship.
43. Fall asleep in his arms. Whenever possible.
44. Show him respect. Especially in front of your children.
45. Let him care for you. It’s his job.
46. Set aside date nights. Whether at home or going out.
47. Admire him. Make sure you’re his biggest fan.
48. Stand by him. Your loyalty is invaluable.
49. Enjoy the passion. Keep the fire burning. Like, say…Song of Solomon?
50. Decide in the beginning that you’re going to stick together until the very end. ‘Til death do you part.”
51. Do him good. All the days of your life. Proverbs 31:12
52. Keep in mind that marriage can be hard work. But it’s so worth the effort.
53. Speak only those things that edify. That it “may give grace to the hearer.” Ephesians 5:29
54. Sometimes the best thing you to do is not say anything at all.
55. Show appreciation for the many things he does. For both the big and the small things.
56. Look to him as the leader of your home.
57. Make his dreams…your dreams. Treasure them like your own.
58. Look into each other’s eyes. Adoringly and each day.
59. Be extravagant in your love. Go big.
60. Work together. In the garage, the kitchen, the garden, or the barn. It’s always more fun with two.
61. Allow for hormonal fluctuations. But don’t make it an excuse for sin.
62. Speak his love language – what says love to him. And speak it fluently!
63. Don’t make accusations. Ask questions, but don’t begin with blame.
64. Start each day with a smile and a kiss. What better way to begin?
65. Share interests together. As many as possible.
66. Welcome him into your world. Don’t keep him at a distance.
67. Laugh at his jokes. Yes, even if you’ve heard them before.
68. Remember the one you fell in love with. Don’t let him get lost in the dailyness of life.
69. Abide in Christ. And then keep abiding. John 15
70. Cast all your care upon Him. Because He cares for you. I Peter 5:7
71. Fix his favorite foods. You know what they say about the way to a man’s heart…
72. Communicate confidence in who he is and what he’s about. So powerful in a man’s life.
73. Keep tenderness in your love. Don’t let hardness or sharpness creep in to make it brittle.
74. Let him know what you need from him. It might not be as obvious as you think it is.
75. Differentiate what you need…from what you want.
76. Pray through problems. Don’t work it out on your own. Romans 8:26
77. Convince him that he’s the man of your dreams. And he’ll become that man.
78. Give thanks. Always. For all things. Ephesians 5:20
79. Go to the Word when things seem dark. God’s Word will be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. Psalm 119:105
80. Intertwine your lives wherever possible. Run errands, go for walks, curl up on the couch. Just seek to be together.
81. Make the most of little moments. Don’t wait for sweeping moments – those are mostly found in the movies.
82. Gratefully accept his gifts. Don’t mention the price or how he got it “wrong”. Just be thankful.
83. Always remain lovers. Do the kinds of things that lovers do.
84. Judge him not. That you be not judged. Matthew 7:1
85. Celebrate your anniversary. Do something special together and recognize the grand occasion that it is.
86. Don’t hang out with friends who put him – or their own husbands – down. So destructive.
87. Back him up in his decision-making. He’ll value your support.
88. Give up your need to be right. It’s not as bad as it sounds.
89. Cheerfully help him out. You’re his “help-meet”, aren’t you?
90. The Lord can heal your hurts. Your husband cannot. So don’t resent him for something he can’t do. Psalm 147:3
91. Write little love notes. Tuck them in his lunch. Or write on the bathroom mirror. Send a text message, if you must.
92. Embrace your differences. If you were both the same? How boring would that be.
93. Express enthusiasm for his plans and ideas.
94. Timing can make all the difference in the world. Discuss difficult things when you’re both rested – and fed.
95. Make his priorities your own. Bump them up to the top of your list.
96. Lovingly bear with him. He’ll have his faults (as will you). Ephesians 4:2
97. Fear the Lord. And you shall be praised. Proverbs 31: 30
98. Reach out and touch. A tender touch can do so much good – for you both.
99. Marriage is like a long, slow walk together. More a marathon than a sprint. So just keep walking. Together.
100. Always choose love – again and again.
The greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
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In His grace,
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Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. Matt and Lisa are also the co-hosts of the FAITHFUL LIFE podcast where they talk about what it means to be a biblical Christian in marriage, parenting, church, and culture.